Just wanting to love again.

[Kandyapple]

I've been single for the longest period of time in my life now and i'm realy feeling it. I find it realy stupid because I know ppl that are single for a lot longer than me and are totaly fine but I find myself getting lonelyer each day. I've even started acting strange. very out of character I guess. I've been very sad because I fell in love with a good friend which took a long time to accept. but lately I've been looking very hard for somone to care about. I know your not supposed to look cuz it just makes it harder but I feel like I cant help it. I love that close feeling you get when your with somone you care about. I miss it very much. and lately i've been acting the exact opposite. I feel like i dont even know myself anymore. I meet ppl and feel interested then back away when they get to close, and then I fall for the ones that dont have any interest in me. I feel like i'm keeping myself from being with someone. maybe i'm not ready, or maybe i just know i'm not going about it the right way. why does lonelyness seem to mess a person up? I just want to feel normal again. i feel like my whole lifestyle has changed through my search for happyness. I guess I just need to feel loved again. but all my friends are all far away right now so its hard to even talk about it. blah *sigh*

[Miss T]

aww, it sucks to feel like that......and i know everyone on this site has been through it at least once! its one of those shitty parts of life, but eventually the right guy will come along and all those lonely feelings will go away. so try to focus on the things in your life that DO make you happy (partyin, shopping, whatever you like) and don't worry about guys.....until someone like him comes along... :)

[Crazy Dave]

Love SUCKS, it only ends up getting you hurt!!!

*bitterness*

Edit: I'd avoid looking for love,,, and double so this time of the year... Spring and summer are good times to let love happen.... late winner is bad, most people end up in dumb co-depentant relationships, because in truth they are fighting winner lonelyness rathers then the real need to have love.

[Kandyapple]

thanks
hehehe nice pic. yah maybe some of it is the winter bluse but i've been feeling this way for way to long. oh well keep on trucking.

[Jingles]

:keebler: wise woman says.......
you no need man to make you happy
when you realize this then he can come

I guess i am getting old, because i find i can realte to many things posted in this section - i find i have had much experience in this department in particular - It's funny because i can say the "right" thing but you will ultimatley have to come to your own conclusions to really benefit
I remember while being single i too found myself feeling lonlier by the day, innocently day dreaming about ex-boyfriends, my heart slowly creating the image of perfection as reflected in boys i had once been with...but my brain was very suspicious. My brain started to get very angry~ why was i, a smart, funny, attractive girl so obsessed with finding a boy? I think if you think back to a time before you ever had a boyfriend that you would remember a girl who was just content with being herself and hanging out with her friends...i wondered what had happened to this girl - I was furious that i of all people had become one of 'those' girls who doesn't fell like she's living without a man - that absolutley infurated me. But it still doesn't get rid of that feeling. Then i thought, but i am still young and i have plenty of time to find someone, or for someone to find me...but that did not make the feeling go away either - The bottom line was i wasn't really happy with myself - i thought i was, but i wasn't ~ So i had to make a concious effort to re-discover myself, the real me, the woman i am without a man
I suggest that you spenda bit of money you can't afford to spend and by yourself something pretty - show your brain and heart that you can provide it for yourself - Go out with your girlfriends and talk about something other then boys - rediscover an old hobby or find a new one ...i found the gym a super place to go and think and work myself - and it gave me a real positive feeling

It is hard, your heart wants you to be with someone - but you know what? This is probably the best time not to be :)
You are beautiful, you are articulate and i can see this from one post
You make bad man choices - you seem to know that - and if you know you will choose somone who is bad for you, you should really be focusing on what drives these choices before you rush into another one (my two cents)
in a nutshell - rediscover yourself, hug your friends and the rest will fall into place
it really does happen when you let it go
Jingles

[sidewayz luv]

hey girl I know how you feel!!! getting over my x was sooo hard and now that it's been awhile and the novelty of being single and having fun has worn off I just want to feel loved!! and we all know you can't look for love but I do believe that pretty much everyone looks for love at one point in there lifes!! But we shouldn't despair!!! we should hold our heads up high and embrasse the sunshine!!! cause we have no one to hold us back or to worry about...we can do what we want when we want and before we know it...love will find us!!!

[Kandyapple]

wow thanks you guys that was very refreshing. I realy appreciate jingles post. it was a real pick me up. And its nice to know that people can relate. The truth is I realy tried to get into snowboarding to try and burn off steam but then the snow got realy crapy so it kinda put a stop to my therapy. And its harder because my best freind just moved away so i dont have her by my side to well keep me in line. But I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel and I know there is a lot of satisfaction in loving yourself so thanks for your suport. *hugs*

As well as going snowboarding , go to the gym too. Makes you feel so good and it will pay off in the end if you go for a long time.
Keep yourself busy and go out with friends lots.

[sidewayz luv]

yeah definatly go out with friends!!!! call up some ppl and hit the mall or a club!!! Or have a girls night and do facials!!! and nails!!! thats always fun! I plan on organizing something along those lines for me and some of my girls soon!!!

[Liqwid]

Love is Great!!!!

[sidewayz luv]

yes it is

[Ragga_Wh0re]

it sounds like ur afraid to be alone... ur afraid to find out what it is u really want and need. it sounds like ur just want 2 be in a relationship for the fuck of being in a relationship because its the "in" thing to do. get ur shit straight

[Kandyapple]

I didnt realize that being in a relationship was the "in" thing.
perhaps I do want to be in a relationship but if I just wanted to be in one so bad then I would be in one. But I'm not so desperate to the point that I;ll just jump into one with just anyone. I could do that if i wanted but i'm trying to find somone that I actualy want to be with I just realize right now that i'm looking to hard but I havent actually gone out with anyone because I know that I shouldn't just for the sake of being in a relationship.
i think being lonely and being afraid of being alone can be two different things.

[Jingles]

[quote]Originally posted by Kandyapple
[. And its harder because my best freind just moved away so i dont have her by my side to well keep me in line.

~My best friend left in October to go to Scotland for a year - and two months before that my mom,dad,brother and Grandma all moved back to Toronto - at the same time boyfriend left town for three months, so I can sure identify with wanting someone else to kick my ass into gear - truth be known i had already 'found myself', but gosh did i feel alone, especially since i was living in an apartment all by myself with no cable or internet - What did i do? well i knew that eventually i would get cable and the internet (and now i have them) I talked to my parents on the phone ~ I bought a 1500 piece James Christensen fairy puzzle and I got to it. I think for me I was lucky that i had already gone through the rediscovering phaze the year before and just when I had truly found my comfort with being single and in charge - of course that is when i met someone :)

I am comfortable in my skin, I rediscovered things i liked before the boys took over my brain - Gosh i sound like some 'love yourself' book - oh well
Jingles

[poohbearhoney]

i want to be is love to..........don't feel to bad its spring and love is in the air you will find someone soon.....i hope i do to

[Crazy Dave]

I just need a shower, and more mushrooms.

[cyberdog]

I read somewhere that love is less about how you feel about someone else, and more about how someone else makes you feel about yourself, and I think in a lot of ways that's true. And there is nothing that will replace that feeling. Nonetheless, as said above, this is a perfect time to fall in love with yourself.

Try to look upon this time as a positive thing. Discovering (or re-discovering) yourself, falling in love with yourself, will not only make the days ahead easier to bear. It will also make you a stronger person. It will also make you more attractive - no one wants to be around someone who is constantly down on themselves - the more attractive you are (inside and out) the better your odds of finding that someone special.

Although there may be some cold, lonely nights that visit, we can only really know happiness after experiencing sorrow - these days will make the ones ahead, when you are with that special person, that much more valuable. Again, trying to turn a negative into a positive.

Even though your freinds may not be nearby anymore, I am sure that they are only a phone call away. Plus, it gives you the opportunity to make new friends - trust me, I know its hard to do because I've twice moved to cities where I barely knew a soul. But some of the friendships I made will, I'm sure, last a lifetime. With every door that closes, another one opens. Peeps on this board are generally pretty nice, and have already done, in their replies above, what good friends do - listen, give a shoulder, give advice. Heck, I'll even put muself on the line and offer to chat on the phone or (if you're not in the boonies and can break thru the wall of my schedule) grab a coffee - PM f U wanna, if U don't no worries either. I like meeting new peeps and learning through and about them.

So yeah, it may be rough, but remember, its only as rough as you make it on yourself - focus on the now, on the positives, on yourself, and this time will go much more quickly - and happily.

[GoGo_Gurl]

I know what ur going through. been there done that. When me and my ex broke up i felt so alone and like no one loved me. i was single for a year and a half and what i found was that the first 6 months are the hardest. but after its so much fun, that year and half was some of the best times of my life.

I know what its like to find someone u want to be with and not have them want u back, or start getting close to someone then push them away. I did it because i was scared of getting hurt again and i thought as long as i didnt let n e one get close to me it wouldnt happen. But thats no way to live.

what i did was i just stoped looking... i said fuck it i'm going to do what i want to do and be who i am and if someone wants me they will let me know. and it worked.

just remember that you have to love you self before u can truly love someone else.

[meth0dical]

bah humbug to couples. be a swinger haha

[Kandyapple]

^ hehehehe.

thanks for all the offers and advise. you guys have been realy great about all this. I'm sure its a little of both ( not being happy with myself and just feeling alone) I ususaly do love myself but lately i've just been very bored and life has been at a lull so I've been realy feeling down. and also trying to hard to do somthing about it. so i think it all contributes. But i do admit that lately it has been getting a bit easyer. But i still do have my blue nights as does everyone. but yah thanks for all the support you guys its very much appreciated.

[poohbearhoney]

no prob thats what we are all her for :c-tard:

[stabmyhead]

I'd hate to tell you this to burst whatever bubble you seem to be dilluting yourself in, but love takes time, effort and patience. From what it sounds like, to you, a relationship is only about someone validating your existence and making you feel important because you're wanted.

A lot of people get lonely, but they get over it, it's kinda like any other emotion, you can't feel the same way for too long. Who cares, you're lonely, big deal. Join the rest of the them. Just because you're in a relationship doesn't make you any less lonely, infact, some relationships make you feel even more lonely. Sure you won't feel physically lonely with someone there, but that doesn't mean mental and emotional emptiness won't still be persistant. Having someone to fill the void in your life is just a sad replacement for self esteem.

[lucy]

How old are you? 19? A lot of people don't end up meeting the love of their life until they are in their twenties, and maybe well into their thirties! Concentrate on what is important to you...read, go to school, take care of yourself, eat well, do things that are good for you, get involved in your community, or some young adults group etc. Then, when you least expect it, you will meet somebody you really get along with, and you guys will hit it off, and hang out a lot, and eventually, a relationship will bloom!

Okay, ideally, maybe that would happen, but either way, you will feel good about yourself. :) Nurture the relationships you are in now, with your friends and your family, and with yourself.