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Jul 06, 03
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Backfiring
Any of you ever suffer serious backfiring? If you dont know what i mean by backfiring, lets just define it as when you feel you're finally living life the way it should be, things suddenly take a misfortunate turn for the worst and you're in a pit where you gotta work your ass off out of it.
I backfire badly.... whenever i feel that i've finally got things going the way i want it to be, something will happen that brings me back into an all time low for months. From feeling confident and happy, iLL feel stupid, insecure and totally out of control of my life. After my last backfire i really dont wanna go back into that deep of a slump again.... can life be somewhat consistant without all the excessive anxiety, depression, stress and greif? is it possible to really motivate yourself to stay healthy, awake and somewhat happy and confident with yourself consistantly? i know there are people out there who manage to consistantly maintain themselves without crashing into deep holes... how do you do it?!?! 
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Jul 06, 03
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MARTIN!!!
ahhh. I'm feeling the same thing right now... major slump, probably the lowest low ever, but slowly I'm working my way out of it. Eating right, exercising more, and just getting outside help so much, even though getting myself outside seems like such a chore sometimes. I also wanna know how people manage to stay out of these slumps.
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Jul 06, 03
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i get that way after long periods of moderate chemical drug use...i know how you feel man, you just have to work through the depression and eventually you will return to you're normal mental state.
i find that focusing on work or school helps the most with overcoming times like that
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Jul 06, 03
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i believe that you cannot have any 'ups' without having had 'downs'. and if you give up one, you lose the other. you kind of just hover around in a grey medium. like yin and yang stuff...... remember, the best part of falling in a hole, is climbing out of it. what better way to measure ones strength.
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Jul 06, 03
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hmm.. I've found that over many years I've adapted better coping strategies. For me, things backfiring on me has more often than not been a source of motivation. When something goes shitty I always try to take the blame for it and tell myself that it was my own fault that I failed, because I can do better. From then on when I take responsibility for what's happened, rather than trying to comfort myself by telling myself it was some one else's fault and denying responsiblity, I tell myself that I have to suffer and accept all the consequences of my misfortune.
i take the punches but I fight back by working harder. Instead of remaining angry at the world I try to use my anger as a source of fuel to make myself work harder. ie: If I fuck up it's my own fault for lacking motivation or not working hard enough. I try as much as I can to take responsiblity for my own actions so that when I am rewarded with a positive outcome or event in my life i can ALSO take credit for my hard work and motivation. Try to cope with the negative things in your life by doing something positive about it. you know? FOr example when I often used to feel like shit in highschool I used to draw. .and no matter how shitty i felt I made something constructive of it. iono.
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Jul 07, 03
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you need to find something that truly gets you away from everything. I bet yours is music. But I agree with Sean, work and school is something that you can dig into to get your mind off the backfire. Unless its school/work, then you have to get away from it.
Everyone gets into a rut and it happens. Just gotta work a bit harder to get out of it. Keep ya head up Martin. `t1m
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Jul 07, 03
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lotta wise words that really seem to speak from experience =) I definetly agree bob that stability is like achieving nirvana... and i guess you can say stability is pretty boring but a some what peaceful mindset is always nice.... who wouldnt wanna kick back n chill without any unresolved issues rolling in the back of their heads
mostly agree yoko about motivation. you gotta have the drive to fight your issues and resolve them while facing the fact that its your own fault you messed up. but thats a tough thing to tackle. sounds like you've got a strong drive =) that can always take you far hehe sean we had this discussion but yeah school just doesnt give me a peaceful mindset. i mean if you consistantly keep up with the work by doing bit by bit you can get by university without too much trouble.... but it sucks how work can pile up so easily if you dont keep up. drives me nuts. if you wanna goto college, big sacrifices gotta be made if you wanna do well. not saying you have to give up your social life, just saying you gotta tone down accordingly (which is so fuckin hard to do  )tim i gotta admit thats what i've been doing too much of. music sure is a great way to escape but damn not when you got things piling up... sometimes trying to escape from the reality you live in can cause some serious problems.. it just kills the creative drive in you. it IS really hard to set those prioroties straight if you're obsessed about music (vinyl addiction... just one of many time and money consuming problems :hehe: ). but yeah i know you're not saying only music, i do agree with you that doing something that keeps your mind off maybe more emotional issues you have like breaking up with your girlfriend is very helpful. doing things that are fullfilling definetly makes life something more to smile about i feel like i'm moving back into a more normal pace now.... i really dont want to fall back into a slump again... i just wanna be in control with things now and move foward with nothing holding me back.... if thats really possible?
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Jul 07, 03
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I thought moving to Vancouver and doing an education degree would be a good thing and for the last twoyears my entire life has backfired. I realized I hated everything that the public school system stood for so I basically threw away 12K and I have not had fun since moving here. I also gained about 25lbs. But in the past 4 months I have managed to get a full time job managing a restaurant so I can cover all my bills, I am not in school and am working really dope hours with weekends off, and I have been going back to the gym with a new workout routine that has shown wicked results...I am getting pretty shredded now and stronger...my bench went from 180 to 220...not bad considering I only weigh 170...
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Jul 07, 03
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However, we've discussed this matter martin, the bottom line is right now what you need is a VACATION. Don't think I've forgotten!!! :P
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Jul 07, 03
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Hehe...that's free weights of course...machines are alright but they don't get the stabalizer muscles like freeweights do...Keep in mind that that is my max so maybe 3 reps if I'm strong that day...but thanks for the compliment! :)
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Jul 07, 03
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Drugs are bad kids!
Life's a balancing act. Somtimes after enough down falls you learn to get use to them and jsut shrug them off. Its a mind game and cant always work... you get by. Personaly for me I find keeping bissy/supper bissy works best. Your acomplishing somthing and keeping your mind off bad things.
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Jul 21, 03
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i haven't forgotten either! :c-tard:
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Jul 23, 03
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Mah lo @ all girls ivy league school is TROUBLE.
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Jul 23, 03
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what he said. :) sometimes you get going real fast on your path, then outta the middle of nowhere, it takes a 90 degree turn. a couple weeks ago, things took a huge turn like that.
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