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  #1 (permalink)  
Old Sep 30, 01
no clouds in my stones
 
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Love...??

I'm starting to wonder.

*sigh*

Is there really such a thing as "true" love. By that I mean equal, reciprocated, honest, full and wonderful?
Because it seems like every time I hear about two people being "in love" they just end up with broken hearts!

thoughts?

Last edited by galaxie; Sep 30, 01 at 06:34 PM.
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  #2 (permalink)  
Old Sep 30, 01
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it's as simple as this....

Every person has two sides that control them one side is the child which creates and controls the genuine emotions and then the other side which is the adult side which creates and contols all the rational logical decisions and thoughts. To find what your looking for you must first find a happy medium between the two and as long as your partner has also achieved a similar level of growth can you find a real lasting partnership.
Sincerely Serotonin
Still Learning...... :)
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  #3 (permalink)  
Old Sep 30, 01
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Re: Love...??

Quote:
Originally posted by galaxie
Is there really such a thing as "true" love. By that I mean equal, reciprocated, honest, full and wonderful?
yes,,, there is... But it doesn't alwayz finish with a happy ending :378:

I will alwayz be in love with 1 of my ex-girlfriends... except I know that we'll never get back together,,, talk or even be friends. AND... the fucked up thing is that I know that she still and alwayz will love me.

Now how fucked up is that???

I've asked myself the same questions you ask yourself...
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  #4 (permalink)  
Old Sep 30, 01
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how do we even know that such a thing called LOVE even exists? for all i know, LOVE could just be a word some guy in 200 BC thought up in his cave to say to his woman. and from then on, everybody started using that word because they wanted their feelings to be expressed and shared just as the guy in the cave was in LOVE with his woman.

in my opinion, only that 1 guy has ever been in LOVE. it was his own individual feeling. i truly don't believe that any 2 people in all eternity could have shared an identical feeling. there's too many variables in our lives, our minds, our souls... and when u bring 2 people together, those variables double. the odds are not good enough to have 90% of the people on this planet preaching the word LOVE.

it's like we just use the word LOVE for convenience... we don't bother saying EEFOOLAYAYAYA to someone because that word isn't in the dictionary, and they wouldn't know what the fuck u were talking about. but EEFOOLAYAYAYA is the only way you can describe your feelings for this person... and that could be your equivalent of LOVE... but let's face it, saying EEFOOLAYAYAYA to a chick isn't gonna get her in bed... hasn't worked for me yet anyways...

do u get what i'm saying? it's like saying that "my leg hurts", but how do u know it HURTS the same as someone else's leg HURTS... so should u use the word HURTS, how do we even know what pain is?

a definition can't be so accurate...

so i think LOVE does exist. for the sake of mankind. but it's just a word. it's not a feeling. it's actually more like a tool. we use it to "seal the deal". to get someone in bed.

it's sad that some people are so blind, they've been flooded with LOVE propaganda since they were born. THIS IS WHAT LOVE IS / THIS IS WHAT LOVE ISN'T. welcome to society. pre-defined emotion.
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  #5 (permalink)  
Old Sep 30, 01
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stabmyhead is just really nicestabmyhead is just really nicestabmyhead is just really nicestabmyhead is just really nicestabmyhead is just really nicestabmyhead is just really nice
if i cant control it, then i dont want it. bob pretty summed up everything i was going to say...

i dont think ive ever been in love before, or at least my definition of love, maybe for brief moments, specks in time.. but they faded away easily.. i guess i got caught in the moment of someones empathic attitude and affection.. they caught me vulnerable and i fell more than i would of.. when the moment faded and i was thinking clearly, i was left with reality.. which was that the feelings i had for them werent as "strong" as i had thought..

the word "love" just seems too fickle, thrown around.. i mean you hear fuckin' 13 year olds talking in the hallways, "i love him SOOOOOOOooOO much~ oh? we've been dating like 2 weeks.. but i TOTALLY loooveeee him!" then you know there's something wrong...

i mean, im guessing in the moments when you were in "love" or thought to of, you never really questioned if there was such thing as "love" cuz you were too carefree in the moment and "bliss of being in love" that you didnt care for such thoughts, such doubt.. and now that you arent in the "pair" you wonder if what you were feeling all along was love... try to look pass the breakage and know that, even if things dont turn out the way you wanted.. love was never there.. or something like that.
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  #6 (permalink)  
Old Sep 30, 01
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Bob: that was the best reply ever... if we could say EFFOOOLALALA I'd say it... I was laughing so hard at your post...

I agree w/bob/smh... I think love is taken to casually. I mean I know I use "love you" as a conclusion to a phone conversation. It's more like a cliche, it seems to have lost it's original meaning through time.
I don't understand love either. Could be because I've yet to feel it, or anything remotely close to it. But for example, one of my best friends has been going out with her boyfriend for almost 2 years. He's cheated on her multiple times, lied, physically/verbally abused her, and it seems like all they ever do is fight. She cries all the time about him, or something he has done(which becomes increasingly annoying). I always say 'why are you with him if he treats you this way?' and her reply is always "because I love him." WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?

my friend said to me yesterday "Dan told me he thinks he's falling in love with me." I'm like, how long have you been going out? She replies "two days."

Yeah buddy... i'm sure it's love.
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  #7 (permalink)  
Old Sep 30, 01
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"saying i love you doesn't mean forever"

~vesperstina
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  #8 (permalink)  
Old Sep 30, 01
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stabmyhead is just really nicestabmyhead is just really nicestabmyhead is just really nicestabmyhead is just really nicestabmyhead is just really nicestabmyhead is just really nice
im sure hes falling in love with her pants.. or lack of. :231:

addy: love doesnt have to be happy.. some ppl find love/beauty in suffering.. "to love, is to suffer", "the more you suffer, the more it shows you really care" (or the more you suffer the more it shows they DONT care..) there is something romantic about being in a dying prone to end relationship, its very "romeo and juliet-ish" suffering can bring ppl closer and if she can still say she loves him after all that, the passive side of me says "congrats, good job, very few ppl can do that!" but then that dominant bitch is like, "DEFEND YOURSELF!! FUCK! kick him in the junk!! DO IT! STICK IT TO THE MAN!"

but whatever.. no one really has the right to judge other ppl's "love" cuz its different for everyone.. repeative boring stuff everyone knows already..

btw stina: like the quote.. its true too.
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  #9 (permalink)  
Old Sep 30, 01
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SMH: I get what you mean. I know love doesn't have to be all buy me roses every day, and leave me love notes around my house, but does it have to be painful? I am not one for the "suffering" side of love. I see no point in it then.

I'm definetly with ya on the "kick him in the junk" reaction:)
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  #10 (permalink)  
Old Sep 30, 01
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i was just at the gym, and i ran into an old friend from high school, he's pretty sporatic... so we get along great (stabby, it's that guy with the crappy christmas lights, the guy that saw me throw u in the snow bank 3 times...), we were tearin' up a treadmill side by side and he was like "I LOVE YOU MAN!!" to get these girls' attention, ehehe... and i said "EEFOOLAYAYAYA!!!" to him, and he was like YEAAAAAAA! and those girls left shortly after, hehe...

anyways... i was just at a coffee shop with my best friend, and i overheard these people talking about what love is... talk about a coincidence... so, since i was feeling pretty energetic and witty, i turned around and explained my theory to them... they were like 30 years old too... hehe... but they totally heard me out, and we had this little debate over it... they were both stunned by my view on love. i think they thought i was drunk, cuz u know how when ur drunk and u get all philisophical about the stupidest things and it only makes sense when ur drunk? but in the end, i'd say i won the argument, i seemed to have converted them over to EEFOOLAYAYAYA... and that made me feel good. but then i told them that EEFOOLAYAYAYA is my feeling, they have to get their own... and i got all agro on them, hehe...


i think you could almost consider LOVE to be like a religion... sometimes people believe in it because they feel that having faith in it's existence is good for your soul. it doesn't matter how fictional it may seem to you, you believe in it because it guides you through life... and then there's the other side, where you're just blinded by the powers of love/religion, and you are basically desperate for answers, for a path. so you turn to these powers and fall into them blindly, you let them control your life and so on...

i personally hate love/religion for the latter part of that statement, but i sincerely respect people who live by the FAITH part of what i said... my grandparents are strong christians, and as much as i hate christians, i EEFOOLAYAYAYA them to death. because they're simple people, they're thankful for what's been given to them in life, and they show their appreciation to the "lord". they don't care if he/she exists or not, it just makes them feel good to say thanks to life itself... *sappy bob*...

i think the reason that the divorce rate is so high in this day in age is because LOVE has become so materialistic. LOVE is basically something you can buy at the GAP or a jewelry store, and if your spouse doesn't buy it for you, well, you leave them... and people are so caught up in this age. back in the "good old days" when people drove around on a horse & carriage, and sidewalks were made of wood, things were so simple... LOVE was simple, and that's what made it beautiful. then NIKE got a hold of it and turned it to dirt.


EEFOOLAYAYAYA.
gotta get back to househunting
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  #11 (permalink)  
Old Sep 30, 01
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Quote:
Originally posted by yoko*
hey, it's kind of like a religion..

DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE?
yoko you're a fucking freak, stop thinking like me
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  #12 (permalink)  
Old Sep 30, 01
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I feel *love* is very hard to explain. I ~think~ I know what love is, but how can I be so sure, right? From birth, you're told what love is supposed to be like, and how you're supposed to feel about it. You receive all this little bits and pieces of information throughout that you put into this bowl and you produce your own concoction of *love*. You search for this so called *love* and one day you find it.... Sometimes, it's the best and most memorable thing you can imagine, and sometimes, it's not all that's cracked up to be. That's when you change your recipe for *love*, right? :284:
Everyone's definition of love is different... I know mine is... Far different from when I was in high school... even college. I've been through so many different kinds of *love* that my definition of it looks like goo :303: sometimes.
I have to agree with "Dr. bob's EEFOOLAYAYAYA theory" :D: Just because one person says "I love you" to another and it's said back, doesn't mean that the meaning is the same. I think *love* is mostly about "action". If you really, truly love someone, you have to show them how much, and vice versa. Through this one can observe & learn how the other's perception of love is.
Just saying it doesn't mean a whole bunch of noodles anymore...
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  #13 (permalink)  
Old Sep 30, 01
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this is kind of off topic...... but after u started talkin bout love bein all materialistic this popped into my head.

my parents wedding was so cute.. they were harsh broke at the time, so they had those u know, quick weddings that u have somewhere. barely even a wedding.. you just schedule it and you line up or wutever ma jig. my mom didn't have a wedding dress or anything fancy like that. they were dressed in wutever nice clothes they had at the time...

and barely any one was at their wedding because all their relatives were back in japan... ( but my aunt came.. that's about it) I saw their wedding picture, and it was nothing like a wedding at all :)

But anyways.. they barely had money for a wedding ring, but they were able to pay for a wedding band with their TAX RETURNS... after their wedding, to "celebrate" they had a nice Macdonald's dinner..
i think that is SO cute.. i know it probably wasn't all.. sunshine and lollipops but man.. that seems to me like true love :)
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  #14 (permalink)  
Old Sep 30, 01
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That's so cute yoko*. I have to agree... that is *true love* :371: cuz they didn't care about anything, except for the fact that they can be united and be together forever. That's hope and will for love. That shows how much they wanted to be with each other. Just to be next to one another and vow how much love they felt for the other.
McDonald's dinner <-- Heeheehee... that's so sweet :Kimmie:
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  #15 (permalink)  
Old Sep 30, 01
no clouds in my stones
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by yoko*
this is kind of off topic...... but after u started talkin bout love bein all materialistic this popped into my head.

my parents wedding was so cute.. they were harsh broke at the time, so they had those u know, quick weddings that u have somewhere. barely even a wedding.. you just schedule it and you line up or wutever ma jig. my mom didn't have a wedding dress or anything fancy like that. they were dressed in wutever nice clothes they had at the time...

and barely any one was at their wedding because all their relatives were back in japan... ( but my aunt came.. that's about it) I saw their wedding picture, and it was nothing like a wedding at all :)

But anyways.. they barely had money for a wedding ring, but they were able to pay for a wedding band with their TAX RETURNS... after their wedding, to "celebrate" they had a nice Macdonald's dinner..
i think that is SO cute.. i know it probably wasn't all.. sunshine and lollipops but man.. that seems to me like true love :)
awh........that's so precious.
*jealous*
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  #16 (permalink)  
Old Sep 30, 01
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yoko your parents rock...

honeymoon in the ball pit... heehe
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  #17 (permalink)  
Old Sep 30, 01
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love is what you want it to be,
love is hell to the lonely.

r.
(word to 80's glamchick rock.)
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  #18 (permalink)  
Old Sep 30, 01
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I don't feel that Bob's post is terribly valid seeing as how he didn't even provide us with the definition of love (or I missed it, if that's the case I'm sorry :P)

A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.

This definition in no way states everyone feels the same way when they're in love. I think it leaves it pretty open.

By that definition, I can assure all of you, 100%, that Love exists. I know from wonderful personal experience, and have someone who can back that up.

That's not to say everyone will fall in love though. I'm sure there are some people out there who are incapable of love, or at least incapable in the sense that they will never let themselves fall in love. I feel sorry for them.

You know how when someone asks you to explain what being high on E is like when they've never done it before, and your description obviously doesn't even come close to living up to the expectations? Now picture this person has tried E, but they claim they weren't effected by it, and that it was confirmed to be pure E. You still try your best to explain it to them, but they just don't get it. If they don't experience it for themselves, they never will. Trying to explain love to certain people is ten times more difficult than that.

To answer the original poster, yes, that sort of love is possible. I'm no longer together with the person that I was in love with, or rather, that I still am in love with. Unfortunately she's in another country. It's odd though, because I haven't stopped loving her, nor has my love subsided; not even close.

Life goes on. It's disheartening to know that the both of us can get on with life without much difficulty when a year or two ago the prospect of being apart seemed unfathomable and impossible.
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  #19 (permalink)  
Old Oct 01, 01
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hmmm...love hey...

wow...love hey...where to start...*rubs hands together*

i think true love is a feeling...its the heat you feel on your skin as your love touches you- its the shivers that you get when your love suprises you- its the passion you feel as your love embraces you- its the pit in your stomach when your worried sick about your love- its the fire in you when your lover betrays you- love can make you so weak you cant even move...or breath...or speak...only weep- love is the wings on your back when you soar above the clouds in excitement and joy and fever- love is not perfect...love has its good sides and bad...but without love, where is the good gonna come from? i have been fortunate enough to learn all of this... i beleive that love gets stronger and stronger if you let it...and accept it...as long as you arnt scared of it...love is nothing to fear...love doesnt always work though...but i beleive that once you love someone...you always will...maybe not as much or in the same passionate way...but i never fully goes away...so be careful who you love...cause if you love the wrong person...it can be the cold shackles that cripple you forever!
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Old Oct 01, 01
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n/m

Last edited by D; Oct 01, 01 at 11:34 AM.
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  #21 (permalink)  
Old Oct 10, 01
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...

THIS IS WHAT LOVE IS / THIS IS WHAT LOVE ISN'T. welcome to society. pre-defined emotion.

awesome....totally awesome...i "love" that....hehe..

hmm...lets see...from reading these posts ill start with what i agree....actually ill start with what i can remember since im stoned and i don't like to go over things agian....so yeah...

i do believe not all people love the same...everyone has a different perception for what love is....like cecilia said as well...its not always the same...even for the same person...ur idea of love is subject to change...after learning from mistakes in past encounters of love or relationships...u see what is and isn't love...im sure we all can say at one point we did love our first gf/bf at one point in time...but that love is sometimes twisted into something else or its turned into something stronger than ever...i think...iono bout that last part./...i mean i know in the reality of when i felt the strongest for my first gf i thought i loved her and i guess if i honestly believed it at the time then i did....but now after having a second look at it in retrospect i could argue otherwise..as im sure we could about many of our experiences but whatever........cuz the love i feel now for my present gf...is nothing at all like what i felt for my first....maybe its becuz im wiser and i tread more carefully and don't allow myself to fully give myself away...cuz thats how u get hurt i guess........cuz after all love is an emotion...or a concoction of them....

but if love is an emotion then that means its something that u allow urself to feel.....cuz if u really wanted u could suppress all emotion.....we don't have to laff if we choose not too.;..we don't have to cry if we choose not too..we don't have to love if we choose not too....
so maybe love is a choice...maybe when we are really fuckin impressed and in awe of someone and who they are and we think we "love" them becuz theyre is no real in between like and love...theres i like u alot..or i care for u deeply...but is that really the same...we allow ourselves to feel and express those.........."feelings"...whatever our picture of it is...its that person at those moments in time....forever...permanently imprinted on the inside of ur brain...

but now jus so u know theyre are different kinds of love....and only one of them is "real" love....
there's conditional love...and unconditional love....

conditional love would be the love that is felt between u and a partner...becuz really u only love them based on conditions....all conditions are different for everyone pretty much has alot of the same conditions....cheating, respect, mutual feeling of love, blah blah blah...whatever it might be...

and then...

theres unconditional love...
unconditional love is the love that u feel towards ur mom or ur dad or sibling or grandparents or even a family pet....
those are the people that will never stop loving u no matter what....they love u for u and no matter what uve done wrong they will always love u....how else does a mother still have love for a son that is a serial killer....she might not agree with his actions....but she still love's HIM...cuz its her baby...that she gave birth to...that was raised from sperm and egg in her uterus for 9 fuckin months.......

do we know what im saying here.....
so maybe that can give u a different perspective on love or not...i odn't fuckin care......im still trying to figure out exactly what love is.....its hard sometimes to distinguish love from many possible things.....infatuation, comfort, and maybe sometimes even fear....fear of the person themself....or the fear of not having that person......
loves a tricky thing.....choose wisely...

corrie

Last edited by Cowboy; Oct 16, 01 at 01:48 AM.
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  #22 (permalink)  
Old Oct 10, 01
oh no
 
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My great addition to this thoughtful thread...

Hmmm.... no.
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  #23 (permalink)  
Old Oct 10, 01
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omsone said to me once "a guy cannot be in love until he's of age" i think its sorta true
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  #24 (permalink)  
Old Oct 10, 01
[[((Psycho-Asianess))]]
 
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hummmmmmmmmmm

Love is what you make it
but it's also a tricky thing and the most wonderful thing you can ever have.

cherish it forever, but also don't let it hurt you
if it does learn from it.

True love is out there. you have to feel it to believe it.

*look into the heart, and shut down your brain*
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  #25 (permalink)  
Old Oct 10, 01
i really look like this!
 
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psychology has got me thinking

put love aside for a moment, and where is "the heart?"

I'm sure we're not talking bout the heart that beats within us then we talk about feelings coming from the mind.. Why do we seperate the "heart" from the "mind" when all feelings originate from the brain?

is there really a division between the heart and the mind? isn't what we call the "heart" .. the "mind?"

and if so, what's with the statement... "follow your heart".. or "don't think with your mind, think with you heart" mean?

*huh* justa thought.
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