Types of love...

[MistressSpankME]

Love itself is universal, but there are different types of "being in love" love. Theres that intense "movies" love that usually happens the first time around. You stare in eachothers eyes, get butterflies everytime you think about the person.. and this lasts longer than just the beginning of the relationship (at least it did for me).

Then I think there's a more practical love, if you can call it that. It comes on slower instead of hitting you like a freight train, its not as intense all the time but it still means as much. Every once in a while you get an intense rush from the thought of that person, or because something they did.

I know there are more, but those are the only types I've experienced. And what I'm getting at is... is it unrealistic, naive, or flat out delusional to desire a love like you felt the first time? Does it even exist outside of puppy love or love stories? I always believed that when I met the person i was going to spend the rest of my life with, I'd know it. I'd fall head over heals in love with him like *that*, and be "swept off my feet". Of course it won't always be like that, espcially with a marriage and children etc. But i find myself not only longing for that type of love in the person I marry.. but right now. Is that even possible or am i just being a romantic? And how stupid would it be to try to change a type of love, or to look for the other?

[hardstylin]

i think its possible, its out there. 99% of every chick ive met i know isnt the one but there are a few that have suprised me and made me all fucked up feeling :) crazy girls!!

[sidekick]

Hmm okay...well here are my thoughts:

I'm not sure if it's possible to retain that first feeling of the 'butterfly in the stomach love' that happens at the beginning of the relationship. After awhile, I find that it just sort of slips almost into a groove and becomes the 'comfort zone love'. Does that make sense?

I can tell I'm falling in love with someone for the simple reason that whenever I'm not with them and I experience something, the first thing that runs through my head is that i want to share it with them. Whether it be something sad or happy, I want them to be there right along with me. And this is a feeling that doesn't seem to fade much over time, no matter how long I've gone out with the person. As long as I love them, I get this weird 'i need to share everything' feeling.

I know you could say that people feel the 'share' thing with their friends too. But it's different for some reason. I guess that's why people get married, they want to share their entire lives with someone. I guess that's what love is to me. But it sounds so trite when you write it down.

[Rhianna]

Originally posted by Sidekick
Hmm okay...well here are my thoughts:

I'm not sure if it's possible to retain that first feeling of the 'butterfly in the stomach love' that happens at the beginning of the relationship. After awhile, I find that it just sort of slips almost into a groove and becomes the 'comfort zone love'. Does that make sense?

I can tell I'm falling in love with someone for the simple reason that whenever I'm not with them and I experience something, the first thing that runs through my head is that i want to share it with them. Whether it be something sad or happy, I want them to be there right along with me. And this is a feeling that doesn't seem to fade much over time, no matter how long I've gone out with the person. As long as I love them, I get this weird 'i need to share everything' feeling.

I know you could say that people feel the 'share' thing with their friends too. But it's different for some reason. I guess that's why people get married, they want to share their entire lives with someone. I guess that's what love is to me. But it sounds so trite when you write it down.

I feel the same way.

It's very different from friends. When I'm about to go through something good or bad I want the person I love to be there. Friends, not so much. And when something does happen they are the first person I call.

[Rytalin]

I don't think its so much a matter or different types of love, its more different types of connections with people. When you connect/bond with someone, it's a pathway for you to both exchange emotions, thoughts, where your head's at in general with each other.

Being in love is like being taken by suprise by someone. You meet them, and you both just happen to click on a pretty deep level. [both of ya have the same ports open]. They're maybe just full of love in general, and you get blown away by it.


Sidekick:
I'm not sure if it's possible to retain that first feeling of the 'butterfly in the stomach love' that happens at the beginning of the relationship. After awhile, I find that it just sort of slips almost into a groove and becomes the 'comfort zone love'. Does that make sense?

Yep.
Sounds like drug addiction :)

[sidekick]

^^Haha. You know love is kind of like a drug addiction. You get really high your first couple of times and it's completely awesome, but then after awhile, the drug still gives you a rush, but you're doing it out of comfort. Perhaps not in all cases, but in some.

[Bitchin]

Originally posted by Sidekick
Hmm okay...well here are my thoughts:

I'm not sure if it's possible to retain that first feeling of the 'butterfly in the stomach love' that happens at the beginning of the relationship. After awhile, I find that it just sort of slips almost into a groove and becomes the 'comfort zone love'. Does that make sense?

I somewhat disagree! Sure it happens.. but as time goes on that first feeling is there.. but is a wee bit milder... and is a comfort zone feeling.

[sidekick]

Originally posted by Bitchin


I somewhat disagree! Sure it happens.. but as time goes on that first feeling is there.. but is a wee bit milder... and is a comfort zone feeling.

Weren't we sort of saying the same thing? I'm not sure what you disagree with. Maybe i stated it a little unclear. I think it's hard to retain that first feeling at the intensity it starts out with....is this not what you said too?

[*spacecase*]

i think there is only one kind of romantic love. For me personally, it's either the butterflies feeling and giddiness, or nothing at all. I've been in relationships with people I don;t love before, but I never thought it WAS love.

in my opinion, unless you get the butterflies and giddiness and all around happiness to be alive, then it isn;t love. its just a relationship. not that you don;t care about each other.... its just not that crazy intense feeling that Love provides.

[candytabi]

I dont really believe in that kinda love. I dunno. It's so cheezy. But of course I would be happy if that happened to me. Who wouldn't?

[Bitchin]

Originally posted by Sidekick


Weren't we sort of saying the same thing? I'm not sure what you disagree with. Maybe i stated it a little unclear. I think it's hard to retain that first feeling at the intensity it starts out with....is this not what you said too?

ummm.. I may not have understood yer post perhaps...

But what I meant was,
the butterfly in the tummy feeling IS your comfort feeling afterwhile.. Just a wee bit milder!


Spacecase,
Agreed! I'f your always smiling when they're around.. it's all good!

[sidekick]

^^yeah same thing i mean.

[*spacecase*]

i miss love. :soak:

this single thing is really starting to get to me....

[Bitchin]

Sidekick, Glad to see we're on the same page here ;)

[middle mike]

Love is pain always

[SEAN!]

actually in psychology some psychology guy defined 4 different types of love that corresponde to actual behavioural characteristics and shit that people experience.


the type of love in movies would be definited as passionate romantic love-or some shit like that

[SEAN!]

Originally posted by MistressSpankME
Love itself is universal, but there are different types of "being in love" love. Theres that intense "movies" love that usually happens the first time around. You stare in eachothers eyes, get butterflies everytime you think about the person.. and this lasts longer than just the beginning of the relationship (at least it did for me).

so thats what love is?

[sidekick]

Originally posted by SEAN!
actually in psychology some psychology guy defined 4 different types of love that corresponde to actual behavioural characteristics and shit that people experience.

What are the other types of love he defined?

[SEAN!]

Originally posted by Sidekick


What are the other types of love he defined?

i dunno it was three eyars ago i have the textbook behind me in the bookcase but im too fuckin lazy to find it.

[stringbeans]

i love cheryl like a fat kid loves cake

[galaxie]

Originally posted by MistressSpankME:
And what I'm getting at is... is it unrealistic, naive, or flat out delusional to desire a love like you felt the first time? Does it even exist outside of puppy love or love stories?

It's weird, for me I never felt that kind of stomach fluttering love the first time...for me I think my past 'loves' have merely been confusion between the way I love a friend and the way I love in a romantic way. What I thought was ' romantic love' before, I now realize was really just a strong caring for the person, but on more of a friend-like level.

Only recently have I really felt the whole 'swept off my feet' concept - but it's funny, it hasn't changed at all because there was always the level of comfort involved, from the very first night I met him. I still feel the same excitement and butterflies as ever, and I hope it never changes =)

[charly]

Originally posted by stringbeans
i love cheryl like a fat kid loves cake

i want cake now. thanks john!~#%

<3 <3 <3


anyways, i agree with what sidekick said. the 'butterfly in stomach' -> 'comfort zone' love. the amount of time these last is different from relationship to relationship, but it's what happens. there's nothing wrong with the comfort zone though. the butterfly feeling is good, but it doesn't last forever. i'm in the comfort zone love right now and it's just great. sometimes even better than the butterfly stage.

[sidekick]

^^i agree...comfort zone can be better than butterfly zone....i think it's because the butterfly zone feels more unsafe. Like it could blow away at any second.

[Rytalin]

Originally posted by stringbeans
i love cheryl like a fat kid loves cake

!!!!!!

OMG awesome

That's like the coolest thing you could say to a girl EVER :)

[Crazy Dave]

if love does not hurt it's not real love.