About 6 months ago my woman came to meet me at work. I had a 15 minute break, so I walked out of the building, made it over to Excaliber (bowling alley) laid my jacket down on the grass behind the building, she droped her pants, I dropped mine, checked my watch, had 6 minutes to be back at my desk. Probably a minute or so SPLAT then I got up and she said "that was very American of you" I'm not really sure what she meant but it was funny none the less.
Longest time, surprisingly was my first time. We went through all sorts of fore play and half a dozen positions, lasting about 3 hours or so before her brother came knocking at her door, followed by her friend/neighbour refusing to go away because she was having "boyfriend issues" and needed to talk shit over. Worst case of blue-balls EVER!! Still hate that bitch to this day, the nosy neighbour, not the slut I was nailing.
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