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Sep 28, 04
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Phone numbers
I was cleaning my room and i found 3 phone numbers of girls i have met once and never spoken too again. Why the hell did i forget to call them? Now its pretty pointless to call them seeing as the whole infatuation period has passed and they'll probly be like i met you where?
Now that i think about it theres always numbers i get from girls but ever make an effort to call them. i was checking the good old cell phone and found 4 numbers from girls i remember talking to once or twice and hooking up that night, but nothing more afterwards. I never call anyone unless i need something from them which usually means i dont call anyone unless their special. I think i have phone phobia. lol. no really thats just weird how i never call girls back unless im 100 % sure it will lead to something else. I seem to feel like i dont really give a fuck if i call them cuz i know i'll meet another girl again. Why do i do this. 
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Sep 28, 04
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That's funny.
My boyfriend used to the EXACT same thing...until he met me, that is. I asked him why, and he said that not one of those girls was special enough to keep calling, but that he felt something special for me, so he kept calling, and he kept wanting to see me. Almost a year later, and we're happy as clams together =) Basically, you'll probably keep doing the same thing until you find a girl that you feel something special for. Then you'll keep calling her, and you'll keep wanting to see her, and if she feels the same way about you, you'll probably have a great relationship together!
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Sep 28, 04
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Could be a subconcious fear of commitment, maybe you could see yourself really falling for one of those girls and by avoiding them and not calling you distance yourself to the point where you'd never know if things could have progressed... thus you save yourself from potential heartbreak.
It could also be the chase, when you've gotten someones phone number or they've shown a certain amount of interest in you it gets boring and it grants you the option of making things flourish. I know that you mentioned you won't call unless you're 100% sure things will work out but maybe it's actually the opposite. I used to do the exact same thing, but i've gotten better. I rarely give my phone number out and I don't accept phone numbers from people unless I know I'll phone them because there's no point in wasting my time and theirs.
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Sep 28, 04
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galaxie i think you have a good point. thats basically what i have been doing for the past 6 months or so. however i have been seeing this one girl steadily for about 2 months or so and i would go out with her in a heart beat but its alot more complicating than that. She broke up with her boyfriend cuz she cheated on him with me. They went out for about 1 1/2 years and from what she told me he wouldnt let her have her own life and was over protective and all that good stuff. So shes not looking for a boyfriend so she says. She told me shes scared to start something new which is understandable. I finally told her how i felt and she was kind of taken back by it telling me she never expected me to have serious feelings for her. So for the past 2 weeks its been like were trying to take that next step but im extremely cautious cuz i want her to be sure and what it boils down is to not wanting to get hurt. My last serious relationship ended with alot of drama and heart ache for me cuz she was the only girl i had ever fallen in love with. So im scared of taking that next step but i can see myself being with her so i want to. I mean i just met her parents on the weekend and thats a step in the right direction i guess.
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Sep 28, 04
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^ holy crap! that story is almost exact to what happened with my boyfriend and I. The only difference is that I didn't cheat on my super-controlling ex, I broke up with him that day and met my current man that night! CRAZY.
Basically, we ended up together because he gave me the time I needed to be 100% sure I wanted to be in a relationship again, while at the same time never acting like he didn't want to be with me, always doing sweet things to show that he cared, etc. You did the right thing by telling her how you feel. Make sure you constantly tell her how much you care about her, how great she is, etc. You need to show her that you are absolutely NOTHING like her ex, and that will make her more comfortable with being exclusive with you. The reason she is hesitant to get into a new relationship is that she's scared she will be controlled again, and will not have a life of her own. Show her and tell her that you will never treat her like this, and all will be good! G'luck =)
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Sep 28, 04
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Yeah i guess theres a risk involved in that. I'm really uncertain though if she would want to get into a relationship and it kills me inside. I've never been so uncertain about a relationship before. Add to the fact that im scared of getting shut down and its hard to get the nerve to show her how i feel.
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Sep 28, 04
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^ hmm.
if I were you I do little things to make her feel like you care about her, without being overbearing. For example, take her out on a nice date and show her that you are a gentleman. Send her little text messages or leave her a voicemail when you know that she won't be there to answer the phone, just to let her know that you're thinking of her. If she didn't care about you, she wouldn't still be semi-involved with you. I think the best way to win her heart is to take things slow, open up to her and she will slowly open up to you =)
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Sep 28, 04
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Sep 28, 04
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