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worst: losing ones i love, wathcing my grandma suffer with alzheimers...having her not remember any of us, not being able to tell a family friend how much i appreciated him when i was growing up before he passed away, watching my aunt and cousins being abused by their father and husband, having someone threaten my life and becoming so afraid i didnt want to leave the house, the call a few weeks ago saying my brother was in a car accident, when we found out my dad would never ever meet his real father, when i held a knife to my wrists in a science classroom days before grad, hvaing my school shut down
best: graduating highschool cause i didnt think i could, being the volunteer coordinator at the cancer societys relay for life, the day my mom met her sister for the first tme in 42 years, meeting my best friend melissa...plus almost every moment with her, the day my friends sarah and james got married, and had their son, going back to school for something i loved, the roadtrip to calgary, the roadtrip to toronto with jnetter, throwing my parents 25th wedding anniversary, seeing my grandparents still hold hands thru illness after almost 66 years, hvaing my mom tell me "i still get butterflies every time i see your father", having my dad bring me a rose and telling me he was proud of me.
all the memories, despite being good or bad have made me who i am. i have learned from the best, but i have learned more from the bad. and i don't look back on them with sadness, i look back at them with pride, as i made it thru the tough times with tears ...but even more important smiles, and a wonderful support group behind me
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Mar 07, 05
