What to do...

[omnirecords]

I'm really trying to figure out what matters in life to me...I mean I know music will always be there...but what about anything else? I just get the feeling that no matter what, I'll always be alone. Coupled with the overwhelming feeling that I just can't trust anyone enough, because there are TOO many fake people around to filter through and decide who's real these days....it just isn't helping. I'm just getting tired of caring too much and not being cared about enough. Anybody got some breakable stuff they don't want anymore? :D

[bob]

i'm in the same boat as u dude... it totally sux, cuz i can't hold onto a relationship for too long because i'm so fuckin' paranoid about everything, i have no trust for anyone... yet i still expect my "significant other" to have complete trust in me... holy fuck i'm a dumbass hypocrit...

i too have pretty much accepted the fact that i will be alone... actually, i kinda prefer to be alone... but there are parts of me that want a companion to be by my side through it all...

maybe i should just get a dog...

[Glendita*]

oh u guys ! I have had so many bad experiences w/ being backstabed and being heartbroken which kinda made me really bitter. Then one day i woke up and i looked around , fuck i said this is so stupid . I have to learn from all of my experiences and not drwell on them , have to forgive and forget. I like to think that i grow a little bit from all the challages i over come each day , no matter how small or how big.

To bob and omnirecords *hugs* mmmm.... i never thought of a dog.

[dragon boi]

i no what its like its all good tho

[omnirecords]

It's not the past I'm dwelling on, it's because of the past and the society around me, not to mention the fact that a lot of people just plain suck, that I'm forced to dwell on the future. I keep looking at all of these people that I party with, day in and day out, whether I see them once, or a million times, I am constantly questioning the validity of their existence, as I question my own...I really wonder, why are we here? As I've heard in a lyric from Marilyn Manson, and this is true, "Some of us are merely born to die."

[Erica]

Damn...I know exactly how you feel. I have the hardest time trusting people. Mostly cause of what's happened in my past, but it takes me such a long time to actually accept somebody else's love. It's so sad but true, that there are SO many fake people out there. I always get the feeling too that I care about everyone else WAY more than they would EVER care about me. It's an icky feeling. You gotta give things time tho, and have faith that you WILL eventually find that person. After so many bad relationships and being hurt so many times, I think I've finally found that person. They will come into your life when the time is right hun. *hugs* In the meantime, a dog IS a good idea. *hehe* It's so true tho...I thought about that after my last bf. I was SO bitter about all guys and relationships, that I was just like...fuck it. I'm getting a dog...never going out with another guy ever again...never getting married...screw it all. Dog is always man's best friend.

[omnirecords]

This goes deeper than just relationships...I mean being able to talk to people in general without wanting to tear them to shreds for being so fucking materialistic and plastic.....grrrrr but thanx for understanding anyways...:) it means a lot to know someone out there sees what I mean, when it's so hard to see for myself.

[Erica]

Yikes...I know exactly what you mean about hating how people out there are sooo materialistic and plastic. I especially know what you mean cuz I used to go to an all girls private school, and my grade was REALLY bad. :032: You just gotta learn to ignore it. Choose your friends carefully, and just let those other materialistic and plastic people be...cause no matter what, they're always going to be there. That's inevitable. We can't choose who to keep on this earth, and who to shoot off. (although I sure as hell wish we could!! :051: :024: )

[Breezy]

hehe *trust no1*!!! I know it's so hard 2 trust ppl, cuz u dunno who actually cares, and whoz just listnin 2 u to b polite??? Why people pretend to care when they really don't alwayz confuses me, and the people who I thought were the ones who would alwayz b there for me are already gone!~ hehe, Time does tell who really cares for you tho~ and alot of ppl are fake... *shrugz*... but just get 2 know ppl, and allow them 2 get 2 know u b4 you put your complete trust in them...
*hugz*
~breezy

[Jess_C]

I've been through exactly what you're going through Chris!!! Hun, it's okay, everyone goes through this. The trick is to not dwell on it! Hun, I realized that you've got to learn from the heartaches, and backstabbing, for life is too fucking short to dwell on. Life is only what you make it, you know! If you ever need to talk, icq me, email me, or even page me! I don't mind!

*huggs* I'm here for you!

[cerah]

Silly willy boy!!! You furgot bout Jen and me!!! SHEESH!!! Some friend you are =P You know we ain't fake hun... and we like you tons and tons and you can always come to us if ya gots a problem =)

Ya gotta love us lil crackheads! BTW I had fun on Thurs... we have things to discuss (I still can't believe we did that... in a way it's sorta sad... OH WELL!!!)

But yes my bro is hovering... my dad is bitching... and my mom's just being plain annoying so I gots ta go. But gimme a call whenever ya likes day or night hun!

--MUAH--

[*addy*]

And i thought I was the only one... Things have been shitty for me for a while, I dunno. I've never been the type who's OHHH BOYS BOYS BOYS, but really being alone lately has sucked. Didn't go out with anyone for a year and a half, found someone, didn't work out, and fuck, i just wonder, was i just made to be alone? I don't know what's wrong with me. I figure I just haven't met the right person yet, but what can I do? My sister laughs when I tell her about this, cause she's like, man your only 16!! So?? does that mean it's pointless to have relationships right now?? i feel like I should have someone, I DESERVE SOMEONE DAMNIT!! I've been told I'm to picky, but what am I to do... lower my "standards" just so I won't be alone? that's retarded...
friends thing is so true to. I mean, you know at school you have your "best friends" but really, i always wonder do they even know me? it's always that weird impersonal kind of friendship. The fakeness of it all just... pisses me off. I wonder how many REAL friends I actually have, and how many I'll just lose touch with in a year, and not care about...

I feel like venting, but I don't want to bore you guys...
I could go on and on about school, my future, my parents, relationships etc... but fuck it...
it's not gonna get much better... and complaining won't help...

*addy*

[Serotonin]

if you want loyalty buy a dog!you still have to earn a cat's love,but hey i'm here for any you f&kers when you need to chat about being surrounded by fake peeps.:016: :025: