like the dull hum of a refridgerator.

[mugsy]

thats how i would explain the constant feeling of "saduglyangryupset-ness" i feel. most of the time, i dont realize its there. i have just too much great stuff going for me to be concerned or dwell on anything bad for too long. but sometimes its there, and its fucking annoying and theres no switch to turn it off, you just got to try to concentrate on something else and hopefully you wont hear (feel) it anymore.

went to a friends sisters wedding last night. i felt so fucking selfish because i was sad to see her get walked down the isle, have a dance with her dad and all that shit. (by the way it was a BEAUTIFUL wedding, bride was gorgeous, and my friend was the maid of honor and she was just as gorgeous the whole thing was wonderful) im a very lucky lady to have had a very amazing boyfriend there to snap me into my senses, throw a hug my way when i needed it, make me laugh and dance to portugeuse music with me.

[sidekick]

hugs from the right people can stitch up the ugliest wounds.

[veN]

Throwing more *hugs* your way, even if they are from a stranger.

[mugsy]

very true jake.

and thank you nev.

i just enjoy being an independent person - fixing my own problems\sadness, and sometimes it can be had to realize that human contact can be a healing thing. but i think its always good to keep in mind that in the end, im the one who can keep me happy, or keep me angry or keep me anything really. i just need to be reminded from time to time that i ultimately choose the way i feel about a situation and i can choose to continue to have and feel and be that emotion for as long as i want.