The bfs mother...

[junglequeen]

What do you do when you think youve found the one but his mother seems to disapprove?
His family is gigantic and tight knit and I like them alot, I just worry that his mother will become a problem when we have kids. :( Im not catholic or Philipino and although she hasnt said anything to me directly I get the feeling that she doesnt think Im good enough for her oldest son.

[IntakE]

she's not the one you have to worry about being good enough for, if he loves you and wants to be with you that should be all that matters. If he loves your his mom will too just because you make her son so happy.

[junglequeen]

Yeah I know shes happy for our happiness but its the kind of family that lives within walking distance of each other...
I love that about them because I have such a small family but on the otherhand I saw my parents go through hell because my father basically had to choose his wife over his mother.

[IntakE]

wow well I couldn't see myself ever compromising my sons happiness just because I wasn't to fond of the girl he loved. I mean isn't your goal in life to make your kids happy?

[junglequeen]

of course, but Mothers always think they know best
and white girls (in his Mums eyes) dont make suitable wives because they cant cook and they dont raise their children properly
(I can cook actually just not Phillipino soul food )

[IntakE]

well I hope that your boyfriend has enough love for you to make him mom relaise that he wont be happy with anyone else and wants to be with you.

I do agree with the whole mother thinks she knows best my mom does that with my boyfriend thinks I can do better. In her eyes I could always do better, but she's happy with it as long as Im happy.

So I hope that his mom can realise how happy you make her son and will accept you into the family.

[MissBehavior]

What about taking the initiative and being around when his mom is cooking and asking her questions? If that's one of the issues, showing that you're interested and willing to have her teach you might work in your favor. :)

[hardstylin]

Originally Posted by MissBehavior

What about taking the initiative and being around when his mom is cooking and asking her questions? If that's one of the issues, showing that you're interested and willing to have her teach you might work in your favor. :)

ya kiss her ass and jump threw hoops till she loves you :)

[ebbomega]

Originally Posted by hardstylin

ya kiss her ass and jump threw hoops till she loves you :)

Part of loving someone means loving their family as well.

Took me a while to learn that one.

[crookedking]

in my mother's eyes nobody will be good enough for me.

[mugsy]

i think to everyones mom no one will ever be good enough for their son\daughter and that goes for dads too.

anyways... not to be mean\rude but is there a ring on your finger right now? because if not, why worry? enjoy today, dont live in the future. get to know his mom, get to know his culture. but dont go chaning yourself or trying to find an answer because you'll never be happy in the long run if you have to pose as someone else for his mom to think you're suitable.
give it time. mother in law relationships usually take a much longer time to turn into love then other relationships. but i cant stress more of the fact of why worry now? your with him not his mother.

[Flip]

Sheena, I thought you were a lesbian, what happened? I guess I turned you onto guys, yay me!

[dj_soo]

Originally Posted by junglequeen

of course, but Mothers always think they know best
and white girls (in his Mums eyes) dont make suitable wives because they cant cook and they dont raise their children properly
(I can cook actually just not Phillipino soul food )

ask her to teach you - you can do some bonding :) Besides, Filipino food is yummy...

[junglequeen]

Originally Posted by mugsy

i think to everyones mom no one will ever be good enough for their son\daughter and that goes for dads too.

anyways... not to be mean\rude but is there a ring on your finger right now? because if not, why worry? enjoy today, dont live in the future. get to know his mom, get to know his culture. but dont go chaning yourself or trying to find an answer because you'll never be happy in the long run if you have to pose as someone else for his mom to think you're suitable.
give it time. mother in law relationships usually take a much longer time to turn into love then other relationships. but i cant stress more of the fact of why worry now? your with him not his mother.

ring has been picked out
but he really wants to live in the house his parents bought for him and I want a house that is ours
something new

.....that doesnt have aunts and uncles living in the suite

[baby-phat]

Originally Posted by mofo-x

ask her to teach you - you can do some bonding :) Besides, Filipino food is yummy...

Yes, it's so very yummy. :)

[junglequeen]

ok Ill try!
I just get distracted by his father, sister, brother and cousins while Im over there....its more fun to jam in the garage then sit in a hot kitchen.

[Goat]

How about not talking about having kids or anything related to her son penetrating the shit out of you.

[Carrie]

you're not dating his mom.

[Ms.Chop]

make a relationship with his mom.. seriously.

in the portuguese culture... the mother hasta approve of the girl.. and the father approves of the guy..

i mean, if ur gonna marry him.. ur gonna wanna have a good relationship.. ESPECIALLY with his mom

i say.. you make her some dinner.. and maybe offer to babysit someone young in their family.. maybe it will help her change her mind...

who knows... it never hurt to try.

[junglequeen]

Originally Posted by Goat

How about not talking about having kids or anything related to her son penetrating the shit out of you.

Uh we dont talk like that
We are going to get married because we love each other and we want a family. She knows we are not sleeping with each other but its still important for me to be accepted by the entire family.I just dont know if I should just let her warm up to me or kiss her ass and try to make her like me.


Hmm I just re-read that and Im going to go with just waiting it out. You cant push someone to like or respect you.

[Flip]

Originally Posted by Carrie

you're not dating his mom.

or is she...

[charly]

you can't wait around for them to love/respect you either.

coming from family experience, it doesn't always happen. my oma (mum's mum) didn't approve of my dad at all. for ridiculous reasons too, but that doesn't matter. she didn't like him, and no matter what he did.. she just wouldn't accept him.

it got to the point where she was making some seriously cunty moves, and my mom said that was it. she cut her off, because it wasn't fair to us. if after 10 years of marriage, she still couldn't accept my dad that was her fault. i didn't know her until i was 17. but she's warming up now and things change.

but you can't forever, and you can't let it run everything.

[diva]

i've never had that problem
moms love me, even after i break up with their sons

[Joanne]

what exactly does his mom do or say to you that makes you think she disapproves?

are they very traditional filipinos?





anyway, I think learning to cook filipino food is an awesome idea. get her to teach you how to make adobo or asado.

and maybe you could try picking up a few words in tagalog if you haven't already. it'll show that you're making an effort to try to be part of the family.

[hardstylin]

Originally Posted by diva

i've never had that problem
moms love me, even after i break up with their sons

hahaha ya me too the ex gfs never talk to me there moms still send me christmas cards :)