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Sep 05, 05
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A good friend's dad has died- what to do?
Last night some horrible news was brought to my attention, a very good friend of mine, which i work with had been dealing with a very depressing issue at home.
Her father was diagnosed with cancer, and had been battling it for some time now. From what my friend has told me, he was an amazing father, and will be missed by his 2 daughters and wife. My friend tends to keep her emotions in, and pretend things are fine. She has doubt with her dads cancer for sometime now, and has sort of prepared herself for this, but nothing can prepare you when it actually happens. She called me today wondering if she could come back to work next week.. but before she is ready too come back to work, the girls and I that i work with, would love to do something for her... Some ideas came about, and heres what we have; A basket full of body shop things...stuff to relax her... We for sure did not want to get her flowers or anything on those terms... Does anyone have any ideas, to what we could do for her, besides being there for help and a shoulder to cry on... Shes a great girl.. and i know if this had happened to me, i would appreciate knowing there were people who were thinking of me, and helping me get through this .. thanx guyz 
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Sep 05, 05
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yea.. even though it is a good idea to get her something, nothin will be able to help her forget about what happened.. and she shouldnt forget. Death is apart of us all.. we know it will be there.. Each of us will have our own way of dealing with it.. For some it will be harder than others but eventually we accept the fact that they are gone. The thought and memories of that person will always be in our heads..
when you think she is ready, maybe take her out to see a movie or for a meal with her and her friends.. You dont want to make her forget , but just remind her about fun times and the friends that she has around. best of luck
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Sep 05, 05
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that sux...and chewy is right, there is nothing in the world that will make her forget...trust me i know first hand......the best thing you can do is just be the best friend you can be.....i am greatful for the friends i have when i needed them in my time of need
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Sep 05, 05
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be there for her, but don't push her to talk.. for anyone that has lost someone the worst thing is being pressured about how they feel (in my experience) because sometimes it's really hard to even know how to feel.
listening is key. good luck to your co worker.. it gets easier with time
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Sep 06, 05
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personally as someone who is dealing\not dealing with a sick\dying dad anything would be appreciated. the fact that you would all go out of your way to do something specail will probably mean alot to the lady.
for our family its been made a decision that if anyone wants to do anything in the mannor of flowers or gift baskets to just make a donation to the cancer agency in my dads name. but really, truely, i dont think i can emphasize any more that anything will be appreciated. and im pretty sure you have the whole comfort listening thing happening already and most people know how important that is.
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Sep 06, 05
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No two people are the same. People react differently.
Some take solace well with a shot of vodka and the company of others. Others bury their face in their hands in the shadows of their homes. Try to pick up on signs or clues and decide what you think is best. I'd suggest don't over due it in any way, Sometimes, it's worse when you feel like everyone knows.
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Sep 06, 05
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Quote:
wow thats a great idea... i will for sure take that into concideration.. thank you everyone for your advice i appreicate it
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