Knowing that I won't find someone that will ever compare

[fable]

Originally Posted by SWIFTBEATS

people just seem so great when you are with them

you could find out she was just a dumb lying slut that sucked off lots of your friends, uhh ya i learned that can happen!

Clerks!

[Lil Jenna]

I was in a two and a bit year relationship... When it ended I thought that I would be able to find someone that was "better" for me. I tired after being single for a while being with someone else and it just wanst right. After that
I took some time to try and find what I really wanted. After a long time apart from him and tryingout other people... it turned out that life brought us back together...

I hope that you can take the time you have now to do some soul searching...

"If You Love Something Set It Free
If It Comes Back, It Was And Always Will Be Yours.

If It Never Returns,
It Was Never Yours To Begin With."

[Franzterdam]

I just want everyone to know that this is a nice thread. It gave me time to self-reflect.

[LeeBrat]

Originally Posted by miss.myra

and I took two years to really actually find myself and become comfortably independent, which I really needed. It kind of gave me a lot of time to reflect on what I really wanted and made me have a lot healthier of an attitude towards myself and all of that. Finding what you really really want once you know exactly what you want is very easy, trust me.

this is good advice.

I'm not one to give advice when it comes to relationships, im jaded, bitter, and untrusting. but non the less i like to be positive when it comes to other poeple and their relationships. you have only just broken up, like everyone else has stated relationships begin and end, some are good and some not so much. sometimes you lose poeple and you belive you will never meet anyone else like them again...but then in a given amount of time, you find someone who exceeds in their greatness or someone who is more compatable with you. but it takes time, give yourself some time to get over it, some time to heal. and normally, when your not looking that someone else will come along.
best of luck.

[ebbomega]

my last relationship ended with a revelation on my side, possibly on both.

coming up to two and a half years, my ex told me that she was missing the single life and wanted to try some time off. at the time it seemed wise that we open up the relationship. when i become the first one to exercise the openness (didn't even sleep with the girl. random drunken making out...) she freaks out.

now does that make the end of the relationship my fault? possibly... but here's the important part.

after getting over the initial pain of 'hrm, maybe she doesn't wanna be with me after all', suddenly a lot of other stuff started to snap into place. her philosophy of life and mine definately clashed at far too often a point. simply stated, after having moved back to the island i was becoming a different person and she didn't seem to like who i was becoming. soon after this drama my attitude switched to 'well, i think this is really your loss then.' the next time i saw her, she was holding me at arm's length. so the next day i ask her if she needs to talk, understanding full well that this means the end of the relationship...

her: 'well, i didn't wanna do this to you before your birthday...'
me: 'you wanna do this _on_ my birthday?'

so we split up. it's got to have been the most painless split up because by that point already i had accepted that it was time to move on. yeah, i felt disoriented... i mean, for so long you default your social energies to one person... now how am i supposed to socialize? the time apart definately helped me develop my own character and be an independent person.

the other thing it taught me was how not to be in a relationship simply for the sake of being in a relationship.

that was just over a year and a half ago. in recent months i've gotten a new girlfriend, but this time it's one that most definately wasn't rushed into. after the last relationship, my guard was put up, and when me and my current gf started hooking up, both of us were of the attitude that we didn't really want to get into dating at that point. a year and a half later and we're now together, but because we want to be together, not because we think we need to.

my advice: go watch Swingers. seriously. it's a great breakup movie. and it teaches an important lesson: if you really want something to work out between people just relax and let it happen naturally. don't go out looking for number one... instead just enjoy life for what it is and if you find a companion then good on you... but don't focus your life on it or you will end up hurt.

i also suggest you make good use of your friends now. they'll be your single biggest asset in the recovery period.

[justa~gurl]

i haven't read through the whole thread but all i have to say is that you feel this way because the pain is fresh, and no, you probably won't find anyone like her again..and thats not neccessarily a bad thing. we are all different are we not? you shouldn't compare one person to another because it's basically usless. we all have our ups and downs...don't feel so hopeless cause whats good with one girl could be bad with the next girl, but they will make up for it in another way that the other girl might not be able to.
(p.s. i am super tired and hungry right now so i might not be making any sense)

hold in there, you'll both be just fine :)

[Miche Me]

Originally Posted by Dj Franco

Well this exact same situation has happened to me before. I went out with a girl for 3 years before this girl and i got dumped the same way. The " I love you still, but I cant be with you " excuse. Well it took 6 months to get over that girl and then i found this one. Going out with this girl has opened my eyes at how perfect someone can be. We had a great relationship, and i understand when people say, "You'll find someone else" but i truly believe that if i do find someone else, it'll be like looking into someone else's eyes.

Awe.....