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Mind and Body Ask for advice or offer some. Keep it work safe clean. |
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Knowing that I won't find someone that will ever compare
My gf just broke up with me after a 2 year relationship. The thing that depresses me the most is knowing that I will never find someone like that again. I don't see the point of relationships, I don't believe there can ever be a happy ending.
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There are over 6 billion people on this planet.
The odds are that you will win the 6/49 before you don't find someone that will replace her. Sorry if I am blunt but we all feel something similar when a relationship ends and given enough time you'll move on. |
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^ agreed... I used to think the same idea, when I was in a lot of not-so-great relationships... but then I met someone who I love truely, and all that good stuff... and now I believe that there IS someone out there who you can truely be with... you just need to find them, and that can be the hard part...
edit: lol, I am NOT agreeing with mchammered, but with silverwinged... just a slow poster! |
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your right, happy endings don't exist in the end we all die or breakup what makes relationships worth it is the happy beginings and middles and mid-ends even if theres arguing in between that its usually always worth it you'll find someone else eventually peace+respect hang tough |
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I find it strange that you're thinking about filling your life with someone else just after you ended a relationship.
I was in a relationship for three years and felt similar things, and I took two years to really actually find myself and become comfortably independent, which I really needed. It kind of gave me a lot of time to reflect on what I really wanted and made me have a lot healthier of an attitude towards myself and all of that. Finding what you really really want once you know exactly what you want is very easy, trust me. |
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I came out of a 6 year relationship, feeling like it sounds like your feeling right now. I was just devestated.. All I could think about was all the good times and how much I loved him..…..well three years later…when I think back I don’t remember very many good times in that relationship…( its amazing what you can convince yourself about how great someone else was when your newly broken up!) Now? I seriously thank God we ended it, probably the best thing that happened to me in all those 6 years with him, it just didn’t feel like it at the time.
Think about it this way…the only way to find the right person for you is to go through the process with some who are not the right ones before hand. Have you ever heard that saying…. I wish you enough rain that you appreciate the sun more? Be thankful for the crappy relationships, hurt and sad goodbyes because when the right person makes their way into your life, you will appreciate them and value them so much more…Its all part of life. Life experiences, we grow and we learn. There are obviously some wonderful qualities in this woman. with each relationship you learn about yourself, and what you want for yourself, what you are willing and not willing to accept…. then you learn to see those qualities (both good and bad) in other people, it helps you to steer away from the ones that you know will only lead to more misery and hurt… and helps you recognize the wonderful qualities that you are looking for when you see them in someone. It can be devestating to us when a relationship ends, just like a death, allow yourself to grieve, but also work on filling up the empty spaces with things that make you happy. You cant depend on anyone else for your happiness…so concentrate on doing things that make you feel good, keep yourself busy….it will get better, it just takes time. One day your going to find that right person, and your going to think back about the girl you just broke up with and be thankful it ended, because if it hadnt you wouldn’t have found the right one. I hope that makes sense and I hope it helps even just a little. |
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live on and see young grasshopper |
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Anyways, speaking from personal experience, I will recommend that you pick up a bottle of your favourite hard liquor and drink it like its warm milk. Devote your weekends to bar/club-hopping, because we all know: the best way to get over is someone is to get under someone.
I would also suggest trying to re-evaluate how important this person (your new ex-gf) really was in your life. This is how i think about it, if for some reason, either one of you decides to break it off, then you KNOW that it was'nt meant to be, why resist fate? Why try to change what's meant to happen? I dont know, just my thoughts. I'll leave you with one of my fav quotes when it comes to break ups in relationships: Realize that falling in love with someone is just the result of a series of generic events that can occur between you and basically anyone who meets your standards of attractiveness. It's just an emotional manifestation of a handful of chemicals bouncing back and forth. It's not the holy grail of living, it's not your reason to exist and it's definitely not something reserved for 'that one person.' Accept that you are just an animal with a big brain that allows him to fret over what only amounts to a game of hormone pool. What you're feeling is not your soul dying a gurgling, ugly death, but withdrawal. All the happy chemicals that saturated your body when you were with her are kicking out cold turkey, and your body is screaming bloody murder, where are my damned endorphins? It's just chocolate. Find a new bar. edit: bahh Last edited by ja_raul; Jan 31, 06 at 06:16 AM. |
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was there much time between your 2 relationships? If they both ended the same way, not to be harsh, but maybe it's something about you that needs to be worked on?
I'm in the best relationship of my life right now but I know there's no way it would be this good if I hadn't taken 2 years previously to figure out myself through being single. |
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I took 6 months off from relationships, but when i met her i was pretty much over my ex. Its not something I need work on, she told me herself that she loves me still, and if we were both that right age to get married she would want to cause we get along so well and love eachother so much. Unfortunatley im her first real relationship and maybe curiousity has gotten the better of her.
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with a defeatest attitude like that,youre right...you`ll never find anyone that compares to her.
Change your attitude and watch everything around you change.You can choose to wallow in self pity,or you can choose to learn from it and grow.Things begin,therefore they must end,always keep that in mind for if you do you`ll seldom feel like you do now. |
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However, I choose to hold a very special place for each of them in my heart, am thankful I had the time with them that I did and feel blessed beyond belief that I had the opportunity to know what it was like to be loved and treated with the utmost respect. It shakes me up a bit even now thinking about what could have been, however Im not going to waste time feeling sorry for myself. I am excited for what the future holds. I think for you, if you try to find the positives in your situation instead of dwelling on the negative you will do yourself a world of good. Its all about how you choose to let this experience influence your life...maybe your just not in a place where you can see that right now, but I hope for your sake that you get there, good luck! :) |
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Yo Franco, go make tons of money somehow, and your money will always love you at the end of the night....HAHAHAH, JK <== @ Kam |