mentally unhealthy friend

Ragga_Wh0re · #1 (**permalink**) Apr 12, 06

how do you ask a friend to get healthy,mentally?

Recently one of my very close friends had a nervous break down,she was not hospitalized when it had happened...however speaking with her breifly this afternoon she told me she just got out fo the psych ward...
Im really fricken worried about her and I beleive she is either bi-polar or uni-polar because of how she behaves etc.With that said,shes undiagnosed and that can be a fatal thing.I need to know how to talk to her about it and seriously voice my concerns for her safety and try and make her understand the severity of the situation,because I really dont think shes seeing it for what it is.One of my best friends is a psych nurse so maybe I should seek help from her on how to go about this,i dont wanna lose my friend.I saw my mom lose her friend to bi-polar and it was fucked up.Is there any other resources aside from the psych ward that could help?Anyone know a good therapist?

help im worried.

-evil-duerr- · #2 (**permalink**) Apr 12, 06

i got the same troubles.
I don't really know what to do, i just talk to em and try to talk about positive things and let them know there is still alot of good in the world . Terribly worrysome.

Bevvy Swift · #3 (**permalink**) Apr 12, 06

this one time i punched this guy with mental problems, hoping it would help. nope. he's still retarded.

Bevvy Swift · #4 (**permalink**) Apr 12, 06

but seriously, if she was just just in the psych ward, youd think they'd have figured it out?

-evil-duerr- · #5 (**permalink**) Apr 12, 06

^lol. dont be daft. mental problems dont just get solved or figured out like some mathematics. A psychiatrist can only do so much, basically put a bandaid on the problem with drugs and help the person adjust to the mental problem with therapy sessions. That isnt a solution.

i was a peer councellor in high school. i know my shit ha ha

Bevvy Swift · #6 (**permalink**) Apr 12, 06

i guess... but what im saying is this: what was she doing in the psych ward in the first place? they obviously know somethings wrong with her. and im not saying its a solution, but prevenetive action can be taken to minimize the symptoms, can it not?

Ragga_Wh0re · #7 (**permalink**) Apr 13, 06

I got to talk to her more in depth yesterday,she was brought to the psych ward by a co worker because she showed up at work saying that they were all angels(wtf?)her co worker strongly beleived she was having a manic episode as she had gone through the same thing a few yrs back,so she brought her to the hospital and got her checked in. She was in the psych ward for 5 days,and they came to the conclusion that shes manic and they said she needed to go to a mood disorder clinic as an in patient at UBC,she refused and checked herself out yesterday. She called me when she was drunk and told me everything,I started crying and begged her to go and get healthy and then she started yelling at me so I hung up and told her to never call me again.

My mom went through the exact same thing with her best friend 8 years ago,and her friend ended up committing suicide.Im scared to death thats going to happen to my friend,and it fucking sucks because theres NOTHING i can do.I feel like shit for telling her to not call me again but because I havent been well the past month due to a pregnancy related illness,I really cant afford the extra stress of someone going nuts and nto wanting to do anything about it.This sucks.:(

Capt.AA · #8 (**permalink**) Apr 17, 06

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ragga_Wh0re

I got to talk to her more in depth yesterday,she was brought to the psych ward by a co worker because she showed up at work saying that they were all angels(wtf?)her co worker strongly beleived she was having a manic episode as she had gone through the same thing a few yrs back,so she brought her to the hospital and got her checked in. She was in the psych ward for 5 days,and they came to the conclusion that shes manic and they said she needed to go to a mood disorder clinic as an in patient at UBC,she refused and checked herself out yesterday. She called me when she was drunk and told me everything,I started crying and begged her to go and get healthy and then she started yelling at me so I hung up and told her to never call me again.

My mom went through the exact same thing with her best friend 8 years ago,and her friend ended up committing suicide.Im scared to death thats going to happen to my friend,and it fucking sucks because theres NOTHING i can do.I feel like shit for telling her to not call me again but because I havent been well the past month due to a pregnancy related illness,I really cant afford the extra stress of someone going nuts and nto wanting to do anything about it.This sucks.:(

I don't think I need to state the obivous but this is a serious thing. I've conquered my year long battle with depression and anxiety and I know how out of control you can get sometimes it's insane. Nothing like hallucinations did I experience but it was still pretty intense. So where do you go from here? Try these.

1) Have you ever actually sat down with her and talked to her? Face to face NOT over the phone...and laid it down how worried you are about her? For me..it never really connected until my friends came up to me and asked me what the hell was going on..I didn't realize I had a problem until I was DIRECTLY confronted with it.

2) If you haven't already...really discuss her reasons for leaving the hospital. Pick them apart and try and make it very obvious that it wasn't a good thing to do. Making someone realize that they were just that close to getting better usually is a good refresher...might make them get back there.

3) This is the hardest part. In the end...it's all up to the individual if they want to get better. This could be the part where you get torn apart....this could be the part where you might get so frustrated you might drag yourself into not feeling well also. Don't let that happen. Do as much as you can to let her know how much you notice and how it affects you to see her like this...No matter how much you care or love for this person...it's still up to them in the end...

Good luck...I know this sort of thing isn't easy.

Ragga_Wh0re · #9 (**permalink**) Apr 17, 06

i cant sit and talk to her face to face,ive been on bedrest for the past like 3 weeks.I have toxemia,its a medical condition 1 in every like 100 pregnant women get.Im on pills for the high blood pressure that comes along with toxemia.Talking to her about this is stressful,because she starts freaking out.And I cant have that.If my blood pressure becomes too high im in the hospital for the rest of my pregnancy,not to mention high blood pressure can cause heart failure and liver failure.I cant afford to jeopardize my health or my unborn childs safety.

I cannot talk to her about any of this because of how she reacts.Its a catch 22 situation,its unfortunate but it is such.

maybe ill try and talk to her after o have the baby,but i really cant be bothered by her antics right now.

Capt.AA · #10 (**permalink**) Apr 17, 06

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ragga_Wh0re

i cant sit and talk to her face to face,ive been on bedrest for the past like 3 weeks.I have toxemia,its a medical condition 1 in every like 100 pregnant women get.Im on pills for the high blood pressure that comes along with toxemia.Talking to her about this is stressful,because she starts freaking out.And I cant have that.If my blood pressure becomes too high im in the hospital for the rest of my pregnancy,not to mention high blood pressure can cause heart failure and liver failure.I cant afford to jeopardize my health or my unborn childs safety.

I cannot talk to her about any of this because of how she reacts.Its a catch 22 situation,its unfortunate but it is such.

maybe ill try and talk to her after o have the baby,but i really cant be bothered by her antics right now.

well you are most def in a tight situation. Well...unfortunately if looks like you have to just talk on the phone and hope she get's it...I would just lay it all out for her in a calm manner...and just explain how it's affecting you for the time being...I would tell her straight up "if you freak out..I will just stop and hang up"...Good luck.

Hope the health situation you have works out as well.

sidekick · #11 (**permalink**) Apr 17, 06

my aunt has bipolar (manic-depressive disorder). she didn't tell anyone and didn't take her meds and ended up in the hospital for a long time thinking that angels were telling her to write this book and that she was going to be on Oprah and save a whole bunch of lives. it's pretty upsetting to watch someone you love like that.

i know for her personally, medication works. i think with a lot of people diagnosed with bipolar disorder, medication is the only way to go since it's an imbalance in the brain.

not the same for anxiety or depression, which i would think therapy works better, because, as someone pointed out already up there, medication is just putting a band-aid on the problem.

but if she's a diagnosed bipolar than she should head to the doctor because medication can really straighten it out.

also, she's probably pretty difficult to deal with, but yelling at her on the phone and telling her never to call you again is not really the way to go about doing it. it's hard sometimes to be patient with people...but nobody wants to admit that they're unhealthy, so it takes time and a good deal of patience on your part as a friend.

hope it all turns out okay.

Ragga_Wh0re · #12 (**permalink**) Apr 17, 06

^i only yelled at her when she started yelling at me.Im not going to take someones shit especially in the condition im in when i cant exactly afford to.

She hasnt been diagnosed bi polar yet,but shes been diagnosed manic depressive and that she was having a manic episode.They wanted her to go to ubc mood disorder clinic but she refused.

It sucks that im in a fragile state right now or else id be fighting for her toothe and nail,but I dont have that luxury as I stated above.

The only way she`ll be able to get help is if another episode happens and its 10X worst then the last,then if she gets certified at the psych ward then she has no choice in the matter.I talked to my gf whos a psych nurse and she said my friend should have been certified if she was dillusional talking about angels and stuff when she ended up in the psych ward last week.But they didnt which is stupid.

diva · #13 (**permalink**) Apr 18, 06

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ragga_Wh0re

She hasnt been diagnosed bi polar yet,but shes been diagnosed manic depressive and that she was having a manic episode.

manic depression and bipolar disorder are the same thing. old school doctors still call bipolar disorder manic depression. the terms are pretty interchangable. it sounds like you might not have your facts straight.

http://www.psycom.net/depression.central.bipolar.html
http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/info/help/manicdep/index.asp

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ragga_Wh0re

The only way she`ll be able to get help is if another episode happens and its 10X worst then the last,then if she gets certified at the psych ward then she has no choice in the matter.I talked to my gf whos a psych nurse and she said my friend should have been certified if she was dillusional talking about angels and stuff when she ended up in the psych ward last week.But they didnt which is stupid.

i work in a hospital and almost half of my shifts are on psych units. if she was delusional and talking about angels she wouldn't have been certified. google the bc mental health act. you pretty much only get certified if the doctors have a reason to believe that you're a danger to yourself or others, or if you're so far gone that you can't do simple things like feed yourself and pay your bills on time so you don't get evicted and end up homeless. the system simply doesn't have the resource to admit everyone who needs help. it sucks, but the money isn't there and there aren't enough nurses or beds.

anyways, the ubc mood disorders clinic is a good place to get treated. most of the doctors are doing research because they're affiliated with the university; and because of that she'll most likely get pretty up to date treatment and help for whatever's going on with her. my doctor works at the mood disorders clinic and i'm pretty happy with it.

SEAN! · #14 (**permalink**) Apr 18, 06

bi polar disorder is apparently something that is pretty difficult to treat because unlike unipolar depression it tends to last for life and like depression doctors still dont have a very clear idea of what causes other then they think its an imbalance. I dont really know what you can do, i have no clue, Capt AA seems to have some good ideas but when people are sick like that alot of times they dont realize somethings wrong because they've been like that for so long, or because they like the manic feelings. Maybe she'll decide to get help when the manic episode fades, but who knows.

Ragga_Wh0re · #15 (**permalink**) Apr 19, 06

I think shes on meds but im not sure what.I havent talked to her since last week aside from an email apology from her.Im worried that shes still doing drugs recreationally which might very well induce another episode,as that seems to be the trigger for her episodes over the past few years.

Its such a waste of life.She just graduated from UBC,it seems like all of her hard work and acheivements will be for nothing if she doesnt get help.I hate this situation because theres really nothing that I can do to change her mind or make her better.Frusterated as hell and angry at myself that I cant do more.And all that keeps running through my head is my moms best friend who was lost to bi-polar and all my mom could do was sit at the sidelines and watch her self destruct.In a situation such as this its not an option to walk away,and sticking around aint much better.

I hate mental illness:(