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Jun 10, 06
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The kind of goodbye
that literally leaves you feeling like your very heart has been torn from your chest.
The kind of goodbye you have to say, knowing there is a good chance you will never be saying “hello” again - completely un-nerving when someone has been a part of your every day. The kind of goodbye you say when you know your not just saying goodbye to a person, but that your saying goodbye to a chapter of your life, one that has been so good to you, so fulfilling, so safe and comforting that it makes you second guess yourself for turning that last page. The kind of goodbye you say when you know that there will be no going back- that this goodbye signifies the end and that you have arrived at this, the last time you will experience a particular situation you have grown to depend upon, grown familiar with. It may well be the last time you will experience someone’s smile, someone’s unique expressions, someone’s warm embrace. I suppose sometimes you don’t even realize how deeply some people have become etched into your heart until you face them for that last time, in doing so facing the probability of never being in their presence again and the actuality of knowing that even if you were to be, it would never be on the same level or in the same context. I just went through about 15 of those kind of goodbyes yesterday and I know I have several more to go. I knew it was going to be hard, but I don’t think I could have been prepared for it to be this hard. 
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Jun 10, 06
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ive only had to say that kind of good-bye once.
I cant even imagine having to say it 20+ times. chin up. youre a tough cookie;)
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Jun 10, 06
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I was such an emotional mess last night when I came home afterwards I didnt know how else to calm myself except for to write about it. Its not very often I "bare my soul" on fnk ;) I appreciate your kind words... and congratulations- I here you have a little one on the way, I wish you all the best.
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Jun 10, 06
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thanks miss lady!
sounds like your life is going through a significant change as well.Good luck with it!
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Jun 10, 06
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if you are unable to hold on to that specail person at least you can hold on to the memories and keep what you've learned from them in your heart.....
when someone in life has touched you that deeply i believe that they will remain with you, even after bidding them farewell. (just like fatboy-go-round-and-round, jeremy and prank calls) :0)
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Jun 11, 06
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Hahaha- or paging tons of random pager number's to Rob's cell? The flowers from safeway, CRAZY MAMA SUE, rugby boys, going to the beach, money-less shopping sprees, The car in the ditch? OH! or how about poor old Well's and his apartment? I know I will retain so many beautiful, positive memories and I am very thankful for that.
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Jun 11, 06
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See yea.
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Jun 12, 06
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kim...I cried like have never cried in my life when I got home tonight..you are my heart my soul and my life..And I was thinking even though you are going to be leaving here you are always in my heart and I know our paths will always be intertwined in some way shape or form.(god its hard even writing this an not cry) Baby I love you till death and no matter what you are never to far away from me or my heart...
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Jun 13, 06
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im calling you right this second darlin <3
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Jun 13, 06
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Im so sorry I missed your calls! I tried to call you back but no answer :( why Bevan?!! Why, oh why do you not have a phone? If you see this call me and I will come get you and you can keep me company tonight and I will drive you to work in the morning.
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Jun 15, 06
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Jun 15, 06
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kimmy, i was so happy to have one last chance to say good bye...wow...to look back at all of the adventures and things u and i have gone thru over the last few years is insane....to have u every weekend for two years to not having u even near me is going to be the strangest feeling ever. i cant help but feel like time has been stolen away and i wish we had more time at least have had more time to have spend a day a night a weekend together and just stay up and talk for hours like we use to. u will always be one of the biggest and best ppl i have ever had the privilage of having as such a close and wonderful friend.
u have a hold of a big peice of my heart and a very important time in my life. promise me to keep in touch and dont forget about me xoxoxoxoxo love ur cawwwkemeeee
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