WHUDDUP GLOOMCOOKIES! I HEARD YOU LIKED THE CURE, SO ME AND THE FINE AUTO ARTISTS DOWN AT WEST COAST CUSTOMS INSTALLED A BLACK VELVET CAPE TO THE REAR BUMPER OF YOU 1992 FESTIVA (NOW DUBBED "THE FESTIVA OF MERCY").
WE DIDN'T STOP THERE, YOUR NEW CARBON FIBER HOOD IS DECORATED WITH IMAGES OF A DYSTOPIAN FUTURE WHERE PEOPLE WHO TRANSGRESSED AGAINST YOU ARE DEPICTED FITTINGLY. FOR INSTANCE, VINNIE BANDUCI, THE CAPTAIN OF YOUR HIGHSCHOOL BASEBALL TEAM, IS SHOWN AS A DROWNING, HELPLESS SKELETON FOR THE TIME HE STOLE YOUR ASTHMA MEDICATION IN OUTDOOR SCHOOL.
FINALLY, MAD MIKE HAS MODIFIED YOUR HORN TO PLAY DRAMATIC READINGS FROM THE SCRIPT YOU WROTE ABOUT YOUR OWN FUNERAL. WE WERE ABLE TO GET A GREAT PERFORMANCE OUT OF CHEVY CHASE AS "DAD WHO WONDERS WHERE HE WENT WRONG".
SO FROM ME, AND THE CREW AT THE WCC, YOU HAVE OFFICIALLY BEEN PIIIIIIIIMPED!
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