Missing my old life...

tiedye · #1 (**permalink**) Aug 29, 06

All my old friends.. people who know who I really am. People I've spent so much of my life with that we trust eachother without a shadow of a doubt.

Trust is something that has been kicked around like a bastard stepchild since I got here. I've yet to find one person I can honestly say I'm 100% comfortable down here.. no offense guys, it's just how I feel.

I haven't even felt like myself since I've been down. I've been noticing more and more that it's like a left half my personality up north, and have just kinda patched it up with something of less substance. Has anyone else ever felt that way?

A very dear friend just asked me to come up to Prince George with her and I'm seriously considering it now. We sat and talked last night from 10pm to 7am before hitting the sack and at 19, I shouldn't be able to say I felt young again.

I'm not one for punching bag threads.. but I had an urge. Maybe it'll explain some things to the people I've been spending time with, and the people I've been ignoring lately.

LLaaUUrrYYn · #2 (**permalink**) Aug 29, 06

I definately know how you feel. You should be doing what makes you happiest.. around the people that make you most comfortable. Its hard to pick up and start fresh because its rare you find someone who is a honest, genuine friend. I hope everything works out for you, hippie <3

mapleleaf4ever · #3 (**permalink**) Aug 29, 06

Totally understand what you're going through man.

Although a wise Jamaican imparted to me the other day a really hard to understand Patois saying... but it basically boiled down once you got rid of the the "bambaclot" "mi yout" etc to be "A rolling Stone gathers no Moss."

Think long and hard before you make another drastic change as it's just more stress you don't need.

cutienikki · #4 (**permalink**) Aug 29, 06

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ms.Tarantula

people can only know what you show them.

excatly what i was going to say. Why are you afraid to show who you really are though? If people down here don't like them fuck'em. You came down here for urself not for them.

FireWire · #5 (**permalink**) Aug 29, 06

I can't say I can support that.

I see old friends and old <insert something old here> as a thing of the PAST.

The way I see it is that you should ONLY LIVE in the PRESENT and PLAN the future, but DO NOT - in any way - live and remember/regret your past. Those are just wasted thoughts. While you are thinking about your past friends, you could be making new friends that are better.

People change all the time. You aren't the same person you were 10 minutes ago. You have to keep up with the current, not the outdated.

Time keeps on going. Why stop and look back?

Live each day like it's your last. Even if that means losing old friends forever. You have so much to do in the present, including making new friends.

tiedye · #6 (**permalink**) Aug 29, 06

Quote:

Originally Posted by mapleleaf4ever

Totally understand what you're going through man.

Although a wise Jamaican imparted to me the other day a really hard to understand Patois saying... but it basically boiled down once you got rid of the the "bambaclot" "mi yout" etc to be "A rolling Stone gathers no Moss."

Think long and hard before you make another drastic change as it's just more stress you don't need.

so much respect man.

Quote:

Originally Posted by cutienikki

excatly what i was going to say. Why are you afraid to show who you really are though? If people down here don't like them fuck'em. You came down here for urself not for them.

I never said I was afraid to show who I really am.. I said I just don't feel like that anymore. Maybe I'm just growing up.. but I think it's more then that.

tiedye · #7 (**permalink**) Aug 29, 06

I think it might be time to take that spiritual pilgrimage I've always wanted to do soon.

FireWire · #8 (**permalink**) Aug 29, 06

Forgot to add - I DO sympathize for you though. Get better - mentally, physically, and psychologically - and move on with your life without looking at the past.

Everything that happens in the past is only a learning lesson for the future. There are NO failures or loses - ONLY lessons.

Goat · #9 (**permalink**) Aug 29, 06

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ms.Tarantula

people can only know what you show them.

I had a long reply typed out and lost it.

Long story short, fuck off.

Tiedye: Do what you gotta do. Life isn't a rave and Vancouver isn't the center of the universe. Keep your head up, get back in touch with the people who are family to you. They're the ones who'll always have your back and help keep you level. The world is your urinal, make full use of it.

mapleleaf4ever · #10 (**permalink**) Aug 29, 06

Quote:

Originally Posted by tiedye

I never said I was afraid to show who I really am.. I said I just don't feel like that anymore. Maybe I'm just growing up.. but I think it's more then that.

Sometimes it takes a change like a move and suddenly maturity rears it's Head and comes at you.

That's pretty much what happened when I moved to Toronto. I've become a much better Person and live a way better life that I used to in Vancouver. Do I miss all of my Friends, Family and the Fun I had? Fuck yes. Do I regret moving? No. Personally, I'd say stick it out. Prince George isn't where I'd pick to move to FROM Vancouver. I'm like you and have lived in the Boonies the majority of my life. Only lived in Vancouver from 1994 - 2005. The rest was in even more godforsaken places than Fort Nelson. The City isn't that bad, you just have to be more careful of the People you associate with and the impact they have upon you. Always look after number 1. If anyone or anything fucks with you, your family, your future or your security... ditch it like Maverick ditched his F-14 when it was in that Inverted Flat Spin. Just don't end up like Goose. :)

There's my $0.02 hope it helped somewhat.

tiedye · #11 (**permalink**) Aug 29, 06

^^
me, or Ms.Tarantula?

edit: for goat.

-evil-duerr- · #12 (**permalink**) Aug 29, 06

its natural to miss the hometown crew.

but dont let that keep you stuck in a one horse town. Its always a bad scene in those places.
You go back, and everything was the same as when you left because everyones caught in a timewarp.

smalltowns are nice to visit...

tiedye · #13 (**permalink**) Aug 29, 06

Quote:

Originally Posted by mapleleaf4ever

Sometimes it takes a change like a move and suddenly maturity rears it's Head and comes at you.

That's pretty much what happened when I moved to Toronto. I've become a much better Person and live a way better life that I used to in Vancouver. Do I miss all of my Friends, Family and the Fun I had? Fuck yes. Do I regret moving? No. Personally, I'd say stick it out. Prince George isn't where I'd pick to move to FROM Vancouver. I'm like you and have lived in the Boonies the majority of my life. Only lived in Vancouver from 1994 - 2005. The rest was in even more godforsaken places than Fort Nelson. The City isn't that bad, you just have to be more careful of the People you associate with and the impact they have upon you. Always look after number 1. If anyone or anything fucks with you, your family, your future or your security... ditch it like Maverick ditched his F-14 when it was in that Inverted Flat Spin. Just don't end up like Goose. :)

There's my $0.02 hope it helped somewhat.

I have no beef with Vancouver.. and I've met some killer people. I don't know if I'm explaining it right.. it just feels like I'm not meant to be here right now.

Quote:

If anyone or anything fucks with you, your family, your future or your security... ditch it like Maverick ditched his F-14 when it was in that Inverted Flat Spin. Just don't end up like Goose.

It's creepy how much you remind me of my friend Jason up north sometimes haha.

Edit: and -evil-duerr-, this isn't really about missing my friends.. it was just an old friend that confirmed what I've been feeling.

mapleleaf4ever · #14 (**permalink**) Aug 29, 06

Quote:

Originally Posted by tiedye

I have no beef with Vancouver.. and I've met some killer people. I don't know if I'm explaining it right.. it just feels like I'm not meant to be here right now.

It's creepy how much you remind me of my friend Jason up north sometimes haha.

Edit: and this isn't really about missing my friends.. it was just an old friend that confirmed what I've been feeling.

Maybe you just haven't found your niche yet. You're still new there, it takes time to adjust. Once you get settled into a job and place to live. Things will start to pan out. Just have to take control man. You can make anything work if you want it to.

Your Friend Jason must be a pretty cool Guy. :p

hardstylin · #15 (**permalink**) Aug 30, 06

haha vancouver is a fucking zoo :)

stay northcore gangsta

tiedye · #16 (**permalink**) Aug 30, 06

haha. always.

You never know man.. I might come back with my tail between my legs one of these days.

LeeBrat · #17 (**permalink**) Aug 30, 06

Quote:

Originally Posted by FireWire

Everything that happens in the past is only a learning lesson for the future. There are NO failures or loses - ONLY lessons.

this is so true!

I dont know exactly whats going on, but I can deffinatly relate to how you feel. anytime you need to talk you know where I am. whatever you decide to do, I hope it works out for you.

nabs · #18 (**permalink**) Aug 30, 06

i wish i had something to say, but i cant really relate. all i can really say to this situation is just go with your heart. it will never lead you astray. hopefully everything works out arite tho bro.

decypher · #19 (**permalink**) Aug 30, 06

Yeh i know where you're coming from. Going away for months and having to make new friends was hard. Yeh just need to keep working at it until you really meet some peeps on the same level then it'll be all gravy.

aCiDPt · #20 (**permalink**) Aug 30, 06

always take some time & to get settled & adjusted at someplace new. i think resigning yourself to the fact that the new place your home now for better or worse contributes greatly to the process. therez always gonna be jerks who abuse ur trust anywhere but there is also always ppl worth your devotion & friendship. just be urself & keep doing the things u enjoy & i'm sure eventually like minded folks who is totally on the same wavelength as u will show up.

Rayeine · #21 (**permalink**) Sep 09, 06

I think it's hard to settle in different stages of peoples lives, even if they are surrounded by familiar folk in their hometown. ...but Maybe this is a journey you've just gotta take, push onward..
Im kind of in that situation right now..but with friends moving overseas or....ugh Surfing 50 parts of the Coast of Oz without me..(well deserving of it's own thread let me tell you)..
It's hard man!!...It sucks, but you just have to talk to people...get to know people...I think people enter your life at different times for different reasons..growth for one thing..wisdom..
One of My closest friends is in Montreal right now, ...
but then again I had the greatest jazz discussion with this elderly woman on the bus yesterday..we had some good times..
Sometimes there is a click with someone random,
and that's fucking cool...to have that instantaniousness..
but ultimatley trust your instinct...do what you feel y'know..
Jump in..