Ladies.....A letter to Kotex

[Pussy*Kat]

I thought this was kinda funny

Dear Kotex,

I recently noticed that the peel-off strip of my panti-liner had a
bunch of "Kotex Tips for Life" on it. Annoying advice such as:

Staying active during your period can relieve cramps.
Avoiding caffeine may help reduce cramps and headaches.
Drink 6-8 glasses of water a day to keep you hydrated and
feeling fresh.
Try Kotex blah blah blah other products...

Obviously the individual behind this was someone who has never
possessed a functioning set of ovaries. Go ahead and tell a
menstruating woman that drinking 6-8 glasses of water will help
keep her feeling fresh.
Like we need more fluid inside our bloated bodies from
hell...but go ahead...I triple-dog-friggen-dare-ya... See what
happens and report back. I'll wait.

While you're at it, dump out the coffee at work and remove the
chocolate from the vending machine. I garan-damn-tee you that the
first responders will be females who just ovulated.

Staying active will relieve headaches & cramps...well guess
what, the only activities that interest me is
eating..sleeping..bitching or crying for no apparent reason..
...and oh...does ripping someone's head off count as a friggen'
activity?????

Look, females don't need or want tips for living on their
feminine hygiene products. Younger girls are already hearing
"helpful" crap like that from elderly relatives. Veteran females
have already concocted their own recipes for survival, many
containing alcohol & barbituates.

Printing out crap advice while sneaking in ads for the brand
that was already purchased is just plain annoying, not to mention
rude, and is enough to send a girl running to the Always brand.

It's not a fun time, but DO NOT try to cheer us up by adding
smiley faces or bunnies or flowery cutesy crap to your products or
the packaging. Put the crap in a plain brown wrapper so we can
throw it in our carts discreetly and have it blend in among the
wine and beer.

There is nothing more annoying than having a blinding pink
package announcing your uterine state to everyone in the store. Why
don't ya just add an in-store microphone to the damn package &announce that...helloooo, another female in the store is on the rag!!!!!

So take your tips for living and your cute bunnies & the
smiley faces and shove them right up your ass!

P.S. How about adding a free sample of Pamprin & maybe a shot
of Vodka to your packages instead?

[galaxie]

hahaha
pamprin and vodka = gold

[cerah]

FYI... if you are bloated drinking a lot of water does actually help you feel better.

[Ree Fresh]

Actualy staying active, reducing caffine, and drinking lots of water is very healthy for you no matter what.

If they really wanted to hand out some advice... how about sex ed stuff?

And if you where to write a letter to kotex... how about to stop bleaching their tampons. It may seem more hygenic to have them crystle clean white, but reality is that those belached tampons are in your uterus for 4-8 hours times 1-3 times a day times 3-7 days a week. Common sence would know thats not good for you. If anyone knows where to find unbleached tampons (there probly brown colour) please let me know!

[cerah]

^^^

Health food stores... maybe even London Drugs or Shoppers these days. There's all sorts of bleached tampon alternatives nowadays. If you're comfortable using non applicator types check out the Diva Cup.

[Gusto]

ahah, that woman was totally PMSing while she wrote that.

[Skitzo_Style]

Originally Posted by Gusto

ahah, that woman was totally PMSing while she wrote that.

and her boyfriend probably broke up with her as well. even PMSing women don't make a rant over something so minuscule!

[Miss T]

I wish I could buy a bottle of vodka and tampons at the same time!!!!! hehe...obviously written by someone who doesn't live in canada.

[Jen-E-03]

yeah, I'm with this woman...who wants to be active with a bloated stomach and cramps...NOT ME! I'd much rather lie on the couch with my midol and tea.