Transit Toots: GasMasters Unite

[sNyx]

Transit Toots: GasMasters Unite


Dropping the air buffet* on public transit (train or bus) is a very skillful sport. It requires; patients, stamina, full control of your gastric valves, and most importantly stealth.

There are many approaches to the Train Toot, but I prefer the assassination** as this involves the up most stealth in the game. You have to time your gastric release at such a moment nobody will notice your the proprietor.

Example:
Start by positioning yourself in a high volume seating area (I prefer one row back [double seats] front the door). Now the person sitting in front of you is just getting off at the next stop. You load one into the chamber, wait for your new target to step on, "oh there’s a free seat right by the door" they ponder. As they sit-down you release using the one cheek sneak*** thereby placing the freshly vented gas onto them. As others around notice the foul odor, you then lift your head from your magazine to create the illusion you’re as grossed as they are.

There are many techniques within the art of Transit Toots; the one cheek sneak is only the freshest of my material. I also enjoy crop dusting**** when exiting a train of bus, plus the classic coughing fart. I personally recommend any of these techniques used, but be mindful of the dreaded kachoo***** as it can give your entire session up. Thus leaving you the open target for everyone’s criticism your next amount of stops.

Reference:

*air buffet n -Like an air biscuit, but hangs around a long time and may be revisited many times.

**assassination n -Dropping a silent one in a crowded room and getting someone else to take the blame.

***one cheek sneak v -To lift one buttock in order to ease the quiet expulsion of gas.

****crop dusting v -Silently passing gas while walking past others then quickly vacating the area leaving the others to suffer the ill consequences.

*****kachoo n, v -A fart you have been holding back some time but which escapes loudly when you sneeze.


-GasMaster sNyx

[bob]

hahahaha nice one myles!
i love farting on the bus
shit, i love farting period.

[No trace]

i never knew there were names for the sneaky clouds i leave in public.

[Pussy_Kat]

only you would i expect something like this to be created

[ppcock]

rad post myles..

[ƒORM]

LoL..

I swear some ppl at my work use that guide system

[Sue Bitch]

This is why I have a car

[trance_bunny]

and people wonder why i don't take the bus... good one though thanks for the laughs

[crookedking]

haha my brother just fucked some chick that i fucked before!

sorry to take this off topic.

[ppcock]

i fucked your mom before you did.

[Clayton.]

I've bin the victim of to many to enjoy doing it myself.

[six-foot-yoda]

if you cant sneak it out quietly, ALWAYS blame the duck

example:

richard and susan are sitting in a coffe shop, richard farts, susan looks disgusted.

richard: who let that fucking duck in here?!


trust me it works every time

[Smitch_P]

Crop Dusting - perfect for raves.

Although I must say that there's nothing worse than being
the victim of one of these at a party.
You can see a small circle of people back away from the smell
until the smell passes.
Nothing ruins the party like the smell of someone else's ass !

[neoh]

my flatulence has no odour.

[sNyx]

bump/unstick