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Oct 09, 04
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Best Trek Jokes EVER (calling all geeks)
A Human, a Ferengi and a Klingon were on a planet. A fly lands on the Human's shoulder, and he bats it away. The same fly lands on the Ferengi's shoulder, and he bats it away. When the fly lands on the Klingon's shoulder, he grabs it and eats it.
Sometime later, another fly lands on the Human's shoulder. The Human bats it away, and the Ferengi bats it from his shoulder. But the Klingon grabs it and eats it... So sometime later another fly comes along. The Human bats it away. But when it comes to the Ferengi, he grabs it, turns to the Klingon and says "You wanna buy a fly?" One day a Frenchman with an English accent (Jean-Luc Picard), a Scotsman (Scotty), and an Irishman (Miles O’Brien) walked into a pub together. They each proceeded to buy a pint of Guinness. Just as they were about to enjoy their creamy beverage three flies landed in each of their pints and were stuck in the thick head. The French-Englishman pushed his stout from him in disgust. The Scotsman fished the offending fly out of his stout and continued drinking it as if nothing had happened. The Irishman too, picked the fly out of his drink, held it out over the stout and then started yelling, "Spit it out! Spit it out you bastard!" 
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Oct 09, 04
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ha... ha... yea... *NERD ALERT!!! NERD ALERT!!!* :353:
not many ppl would get the first one
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Oct 09, 04
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I guess it is a bad thing I did get the first one then eh? :(
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Oct 10, 04
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OHHH i have worse! The Top 10 Signs You've Watched Too Much Star Trek (and assorted other unedited ST junk, some of which are repeats, like I really care...): 10) You send weekly love letters to the actress who played the Green Skinned Orion Slave Girl in episode number 7. 9) You pull the legs off your hamster so you'll have a tribble. 8) You tried to join the Navy just so you could serve aboard the Enterprise. 7) Your wife left you because you wanted her to dress like a Klingon and torture you for information. 6) You went to San Francisco to see if you might bump into Kirk and crew while they were in the 20th Century looking for a whale. 5) Your college thesis was a Comparison of the Illustrious Careers of T.J. Hooker and Captain Kirk. 4) You fly into a homicidal rage anytime people say "Star Trek? Isn't that the one with Luke Skywalker?" 3) You have no life. 2) You recognize more than 4 references on this list. 1) You join NASA, hijack a shuttle, and head for the coordinates you calculated for the planet Vulcan
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Oct 10, 04
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tribble!
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Oct 10, 04
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Q: How many Ferengi does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five. One to get the lightbulb at the lowest possible price, one to hold a second standing on it's shoulders so he can reach the lightbulb, one to sell the used bulb for as much as possible, and one to watch the whole thing and act REALLY annoying. !!!!!! Q: How many Klingons does it take to change a light bulb? A: Just one. A Klingon would never display such dishonor by allowing someone else to help him with such a remedial task. A: Two. One to change it, and the other to shoot him and take the credit. Q: How many members of the U.S.S. Enterprise does it take to change a light bulb? A: 7. Scotty will report to Captain Kirk that the light bulb in the Engineering Section is burnt out, to which Kirk will send Bones to pronounce the bulb dead. Scotty, after checking around, notices that they have no more new light bulbs, and complains that he can't see in the dark to tend to his engines. Kirk must make an emergency stop at the next uncharted planet, Alpha Regula IV, to procure a light bulb from the natives. Kirk, Spock, Bones, Sulu, and 3 red shirt security officers beam down. The 3 security officers are promptly killed by the natives, and the rest of the landing party is captured. Meanwhile, back in orbit, Scotty notices a Klingon ship approaching and must warp out of orbit to escape detection. Bones cures the native king who is suffering from the flu, and as a reward the landing party is set free and given all of the light bulbs they can carry. Scotty cripples the Klingon ship and warps back to the planet just in time to beam up Kirk et. al. The new bulb is inserted, and the Enterprise continues with its five year mission. Last edited by Discord; Oct 10, 04 at 02:47 AM.
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Oct 10, 04
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I'm the same with DS9 and Voyager.... (BTW if anyone even talks about Enterpize in this post, your automaticly NOT A TREKKY.... just a warning.. ENTERPRIZE IS EVIL and not trek.. its SHIT and not trek) that is all.
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Oct 10, 04
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47 is the most common number heard in Trek. Just take a listen during an episode from the TNG-DS9-VOY years. It seems like no matter the odds, even if all else should prove otherwise, you'll hear the number 47. While it may have been accidental initially, there's rumours going around that it soon became intentional, like an inside joke the script writers would implement to treat the fans to a bit of a game.
Examples: TNG - Darmok. Data asks how many references to some alien diety are in the database. The computer replies, "47". DS9 - At one point Sisko mentions he's going to a cargo bay. Before he finishes, his staff finish his sentance by saying, "4." He then says, "No, 7." VOY - Species 8472. Duh! And let's not get into how many times shields have dropped to exactly 47% of power! Check it out whenever you catch an episode from this era. It's actually kind of fun. If it gets boring, start to look for reverse 47s and numbers who's sums add up to 4s and 7s. The 47 Conspiracy
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Oct 10, 04
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"6) You went to San Francisco to see if you might bump into Kirk and crew while they were in the 20th Century looking for a whale."
hahah oh my... who knew the whale could one day save mankind on earth
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Oct 10, 04
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it doesnt help that all diffrent star trek sagas are on everyday since the summer
i watched the oldies every morning :) one question: how does the TNG show end?
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Oct 10, 04
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Oct 10, 04
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Uh oh you mentioned Enterprise!! That means your not a trekkie hAHAH :P PS The Vulcan girl in enterprise is really hot.
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Oct 10, 04
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hafhwaehahawhhaha ddrumk!!!
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