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Jan 13, 05
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Da man-friendly guid to understanding women.
1.“Fine”
This is the word women use at the end of any argument when they feel they are right but can’t stand to hear you argue any longer. It means that you should shut up. (NEVER use “Fine” to describe how she looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments...unless you say "DAMN, you look FINE!") 2. “Five minutes” This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so women feel that it’s an even trade. 3. “Nothing” “Nothing” means something and you should be on your toes. “Nothing” is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. “Nothing” usually signifies an argument that will last “Five Minutes” and end with the word “Fine.” 4. “Go Ahead” (with raised eyebrows) This is NOT permission; it’s a dare! If you mistake it for permission, the result will be the woman will get upset over “Nothing” and you’ll have a “Five-minute” discussion that will end with the word “Fine.” 5. “Go Ahead” (normal eyebrows) This is NOT permission, either. It means, “I give up” or “do what you want because I don’t care.” You will get a raised eyebrow “Go Ahead” in just a few minutes, followed by “Nothing” and “Fine” and she will talk to you in about “Five Minutes” when she cools off. 6. “Loud Sigh” This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement. Very frequently misunderstood by men. A “Loud Sigh” means she thinks you are a complete idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over “Nothing.” 7. “Soft Sigh” Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. “Soft Sighs” are one of the few things that some men actually understand. It means she is momentarily content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe in the hope that the moment will last a bit longer. 8. “Oh” This word-followed by any statement-is trouble. Example; “Oh, let me get that”. Or, “Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last night.” If she says “Oh” before a statement, run, do not walk, to the nearest exit. She will tell you that she is “Fine” when she is done tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least two days. 9. “That’s Okay” This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. “That’s Okay” means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding what the penalty will be for whatever you have done. “That’s Okay” is often used with the word “Fine” and in conjunction with a raised eyebrow “Go Ahead.” Once she has had time to plan it out, you are in for some mighty big trouble. 10. “Please Do” This is not a statement, it is an offer. The woman is giving you the chance to come up with an excuse for what you have done. In other words, a chance to get yourself into even more trouble. If you handle this correctly, you shouldn’t get a “That’s Okay.” 11. “Thanks” The woman is thanking you. Don’t faint and don’t look for hidden meaning. Just say, “you’re welcome.” 12. “Thanks A Lot” Dramatically different from “Thanks.” A woman will say “Thanks A Lot” when she is really ticked off at you. It is usually followed by the “Loud Sigh.” This signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way. Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the “Loud Sigh,” as she will only tell you “Nothing.” 
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Jan 13, 05
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hahahaha i new 99% of these defentions before i even read them these are right on the money hahahah.
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Jan 13, 05
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I've seen that before... although you know that Women are way to complex and infuckingsane for us Male types to understand EVER!#@!
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Jan 13, 05
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Guides like that are for men without confidence.
If any of the stated were said or done just roll your eyes and walk away. Don't play the head games. Women are creatures of emotion and trying to figure them out logically is just futile.
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Jan 13, 05
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Jan 13, 05
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Why does the guy have to be in the hole?
I've done it many a time and when the female realizes that I'm not going to play the little games other guys do they clue in pretty fast. If she continues to play these games I'll just find someone else. After all there are more women than men on this planet.
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Jan 13, 05
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Jan 13, 05
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Jan 13, 05
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and hammered.. its not about playing games, its jus that women's mind's work differently, and for some odd reason, we expect u to know what we mean when we say these things...
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Jan 13, 05
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"we expect u to know what we mean when we say these things" I never knew all men were mind readers. Clear communication is key in any relationship and thanks for pointing out for us men that WOMEN are the primary cause of failure. :c-tard:
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Jan 13, 05
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mchammered is the fucking man!!
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Jan 13, 05
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Jan 13, 05
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Jan 13, 05
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Yes... and you are the goddess of information as to how women operate.
*bows* Thanks for the glimpse of your wisdom ma'am. BTW... it's not the lack of anything... most guys turn into wusses when they are with girls and that's why they fail. If more guys got a clue and realize that if they acted more masculine and did what they want to do rather than what they think would please her the entire relationship dynamic changes.
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Jan 13, 05
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if i could've i would've given winston Karma for every one of those posts.
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Jan 13, 05
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*BOWS*
Not a word, but a physical expression. Very frequently misunderstood by women. A “BOW” means he thinks you are a complete idiot and wonders why he is wasting his time standing here and arguing with you over “Nothing.” At first glance a women may think this is a sing of compliance but its really a sign that you just got owned :) heheh sorry ashley had too :)
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Jan 13, 05
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Jan 13, 05
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Jan 13, 05
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^^ hahaha are you one of the double E's
Like yank-EE ashlee :)
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Jan 13, 05
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I think all of this is really, really ignorant.
Winston, you know better than to generalize about women. Granted, I know you're probably just playing devil's advocate here, but seeeeeriously you're far too intelligent to even be commenting on such a foolish subject. Ashlee, while this was a funny post, I hope that most people will take it how it was meant: AS HUMOUR. Yes, some women play head games. NEWS FLASH! So do some guys! Personally, I have been in three semi-long, semi-serious relationships, and in two long, serious relationships, and I can honestly say that four out of five of the guys I have dated have played mind games waaaaaaay more harshly than anything mentioned in this thread. Luckily for me, I finally recognized the stupidity of these games and have found myself a man (guy #5) who's as straight-up as I am. The bottom line is that everyone plays games SOMETIMES - everyone says that nothing is wrong when something is just because they don't want to talk about it, everyone says fine when it's not really fine, etc.. The PROBLEM is that when it happens on a constant, consistent basis, there becomes a severe lack of communication and honesty, which will obviously lead to the downfall of the relationship. Simply, my point is that it's fucking stupid to point fingers at one gender or the other. The simple fact is that EVERYONE is guilty of some or all of the things stated in the original post in this thread!
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