Exothermic or Endothermic

[Draven GD]

picked this up a long time ago, found it on my computer. gave me a laugh, thought i would share it! :D
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Exothermic or Endothermic
Submitted by Abraham Tom

Actual question given for mid-term chemistry exam at University of
Washington:-
"Is Hell exothermic (radiates heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Support your answer with a proof."

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
(gas cools when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some
variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:-

"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So,
we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate
they are leaving.

I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will
not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are
entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the
world today.

Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these
religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we
can project that all people and all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of
souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of
change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order
for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of
Hell has to expand as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:-


(1) If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose.

(2) Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase
of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell
freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Therese
Banyan during my Freshman year, 'That it will be a cold day in Hell
before I sleep with you', and take into account the fact that I still
have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then

(2) cannot be true, and so Hell is exothermic."

The student got the only A.

[diva]

Originally Posted by Dravengd

picked this up a long time ago, found it on my computer. gave me a laugh, thought i would share it! :D
-------


Exothermic or Endothermic
Submitted by Abraham Tom

Actual question given for mid-term chemistry exam at University of
Washington:-
"Is Hell exothermic (radiates heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Support your answer with a proof."

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
(gas cools when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some
variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:-

"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So,
we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate
they are leaving.

I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will
not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are
entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the
world today.

Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these
religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we
can project that all people and all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of
souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of
change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order
for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of
Hell has to expand as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:-


(1) If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose.

(2) Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase
of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell
freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Therese
Banyan during my Freshman year, 'That it will be a cold day in Hell
before I sleep with you', and take into account the fact that I still
have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then

(2) cannot be true, and so Hell is exothermic."

The student got the only A.

hahahahaha

[axion]

that kid deserves a gold star.

[impure]

karma

[mapleleaf4ever]

Old, I got this in an e-mail a long time ago. Still pretty damn funny though.

[acidic_liquid]

Good for that kid.

I hate questions like that.

[mystique]

better ending?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you, and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."


i found this one a while back when I was looking for somthing demented to send to bevan

[Sniper]

James that was awsome.........that kids got one hell of an imagination

[ebbomega]

I read that when I first got on the internet, nearly a decade ago.

The other one that always came after it was the Phil kid who had a 20-page paper on why "Why" was the best question....

They handed in 19 blank pages, and in the middle of the last page all it said was "Why not?" Kid apparently got an A.