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| Coffee Lounge Talk amongst other community members. |
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Jun 17, 06
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Overheard in New York...
Fave new waste time website.....
A few of my faves.... No, Seriously -- Let's Hit It Old Chinese lady: Ex-see-cus-see me. Old Chinese lady: Ex-see-cus-see me! Gangsta: Man, what are you excusing me about? Fuck you! Old Chinese lady: Fuck me? Ok, take-a off the pant. Stairway in silence. Old Chinese lady: Ex-see-cus-see me! Gangsta: Sure thing, ma'am. I'm sorry. Chinese kid: And that's why we respect our elders. --Canal St station Why Lindsay Lohan Wears Yellow on Dates Russian driver: I don't know, she stop right in front of me. Cop: She just slammed on the brakes? Why did she do that? Russian driver: I don't know, light was yellow. You know, green is go, red is stop, yellow is go faster. Cop: Sure, absolutely. --21st Ave & 77th St, Bensonhurst Overheard by: Joel If Paris Hilton Comes Into Red Lobster, We'll Discuss It Woman: Where are you from? Tourist: We're from Texas! Why, could you hear our accents over there? Woman: No, it's because in New York we know that you can't bring dogs into restaurants. Tourist: You can't? Woman: No, you can't. We work for the Department of Public Health. Consider this a warning. Tourist: Oh. I thought it was ok because y'all are ok with Paris Hilton and all. --Red Lobster, Times Square Overheard by: Lynne & Craig Woman: I ain't gonna take that shit, a'ight! I'm gonna fuck that ***** 'til a ***** come outta me, a'ight! --38th between 5th & 6th Overheard by: Not That ***** Wednesday One-liners Are a Real Mother Ghettomama: My son's favorite color used to be red, because his father is a Blood, but I've gotten him out of that. Now it's blue, and his father is going nuts. --30th & 5th 
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Jun 17, 06
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Honorable mention goes to...
Her People Love Fashion at a Bargain Older woman: Excuse me, miss? Younger woman: Yeah? Older woman: Your veil, your burqa is very beautiful. I didn't know your people were allowed to wear it in bright colors. Younger woman: It's not a burqa, it's a poncho. I'm Jewish. It's for the rain. I got it at TJ Maxx. --53rd & 7th Overheard by: Pam
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Jun 17, 06
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Tourist: Is this the way to the subway?
Guard: No. You need to go west of 49th. Tourist: Can I go down there anyway? Guard: No. There's a special event. Tourist: Please? We're from California. Guard: No. Welcome to New York. Cashier: That's $1.50. Drunk: You're killing me, man! Hey, do you know if the liquor store's still open? Suit: You don't? ^^^ AWESOME thnx avana, this site rocks
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Jun 17, 06
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ya.. website is pretty cool.
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Jun 17, 06
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Woman: Who do you think would win a fight between Ann Coulter and Maureen Dowd?
Man: A fight? Woman: Yeah, you know, a death match. Man: I'm gonna go with Ann Coulter. Woman: You think? They both wear long, spikey heels. They could put each other's eyes out pretty fast. Man: But Ann Coulter would be like, "Rock on, I'm in a death cage!" And Maureen Dowd would be like, "Wait, what am I doing in a death cage?" --Alt.Coffee, Avenue A
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Jun 17, 06
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kay honestly these are hilarious!! perfect for me to read while i'm working
That Wasn't You NYU chick: Oh my god, I think it was the worst night of my life. When they found me, I was passed out on the toilet with my pant around my ankles. I'd thrown up into them. --Attorney & Houston
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Jun 17, 06
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lolololol
Black woman: You look like Vanna White.
White girl: Really? Black woman: Don't she look like Vanna White? Queer: Yes, but better. Black woman: What do you mean better! Vanna is rich and shit. And on TV. And this bitch over here has nothing. She's on the subway, for Christ's sake!
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Jun 17, 06
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Girl #1: Ben's hot, but I think he's gay.
Girl #2: No way. Why? Girl #1: He asked me if my carpet matches my drapes. Girl #2: I don't think he's gay. Girl #1: Oh yeah? Girl #2: Call him up and tell him he can chew on your carpet! Girl #1: What? Woman #1: It's really small, you know, but the sex is wonderful. Woman #2: You mean he's rich? Woman #1: Yeah. Exactly.
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Jun 17, 06
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A New York Welcome -- Blink, and You'll Miss It
Black girl: Hey white girl, where is the party? White girl: What? We don't know. Hispanic girl #1: Y'all know where all the parties are. White girl: We are from Cali. Black and Hispanic girls: Ohhhhh. Long pause. Black girl #1: Welcome. Black girl #2: What the fuck are you, the welcome wagon?
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Jun 17, 06
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She's Got a Nice Pair of Assets
Guy: Did you hear back from the modeling agency? Girl: Yeah, it was Foot Fetish Palace. I have to call them back. Guy: Oh my god you're in porn?! This is why we're friends. --20th between 8th & 9th
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Jun 17, 06
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hahaha
Gangster: Hold your hand up like and antenna and maybe your budget-ass phone will work Black guy in a dark movie theatre: yo! Im over here, Hurry up and get your ass down the aisle. hispanic guy: Its not my problem I can't see you in the dark, cuz you so black. Last edited by Play-it-hard; Jun 17, 06 at 04:06 PM.
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Jun 17, 06
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She Said Stupid, Not Comatose
Teen girl #1: I am so in the mood to get drunk tonight... Teen girl #2: Yea! Tonight is such a good drunk night. Teen girl #1: I can't wait to be drunk! Teen girl #2: I can't wait to be stupid! Teen boy: You guys say that every night. And have I gotten into either of your pants? No.
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Jun 17, 06
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Chick: Come to think of it, all of my Jewish friends went to summer camp. Isn't that kind of ironic though; Jews at camp?
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Jun 18, 06
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OMFG
She Mixed It Into His Corn Flakes Woman #1: ... So his mom taught him. Woman #2: His mother taught him. Woman #1: Yeah. Woman #2: To eat pussy? Woman #1: Yeah. Woman #2: That's disgusting! Woman #1: He's really good at it, though.
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Jun 18, 06
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My Heroes Have Always Been Dead
Teen girl #1: Hey, can I borrow your Nirvana CD to burn? My iPod erased my mp3s. Teen girl #2: I wish I had it! I like, traded it away for a pack of cigarettes. Teen girl #1: Woah... that's so, Kurt Cobain of you! Teen girl #2: Hello. Totally why I did it.
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Aug 31, 06
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Bump.. love this site haha
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Aug 31, 06
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You Think You're Sick, and Then New York Shows You What 'Sick' Really Means
Guy: Is it just me, or does being sick make you really horny? Girl: I'm pretty sure it's just you. Guy: Oh. Well that may be because I'm just really horny all the time. Girl: Then get away from me and watch some pornos. Guy: I don't think that's the remedy I had in mind. Random guy: There's no shame in masturbating, my brotha. It's totally natural. Hell, I do it all the time. I just did it five minutes ago in the Starbucks bathroom. Girl: Run! --Union Square Overheard by: was on my way to Starbucks until I heard this!
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