The stranger that's family.

[SomeGuy]

Does anyone have a family member that is a complete stranger to them? My entire family is like strangers to me, anyone that is not my immediate family, like mom, dad or sister, I don't even know. I've met them all before but never gotten to know them and now two of them are dieng of cancer. I don't know how to go about this situation, I hate being a false person and I don't know what to do. I know I should call but I don't know what to say cause I don't know who they are, they don't know who I am. My family has never been close and I don't think we ever will be. Now my mom bitches me out everyday for not calling my grandma(her mom) and talking to her cause I may never have the chance to again since she's dieng of cancer. How can I talk to her, I don't know her, she's religious as hell like my mom and I can't get a long with my mom let alone another religiously inclined person.

/me is having troubles..

[bebu*funfun]

conor..try calling u're grandma and start a convo! it might be hard, but seriously there should be some kind of talk. she would probably ask you about life and work... just try to block out all the bad stuff. and u are a good kid..so theres nothing to hide~ its SO easy to impress seniors.

i have a really tiny family tree and none of them live in canada..total of 3 cousins!...on my dads side.. his mother, step mother and his dad all died a few years ago. my moms dad died 2 years ago. i got the biggest bitching cuz i didn't shed one tear. I DID NOT KNOW THEM. i kinda regret not talkin to them, or just making an occational phone call to say "wuts up". i have one grandma left and i remember feelin like a "stranger" so a month ago i called her up once every week..every time we talked it was about the same boring stuff (help u're mother out in chores..blah blah blah) but at least i talked to her. shes gettin old as well...if she unfortuneatly passes away im pretty sure there will be tears on my pillow.

[bob]

you wanna know what really sux?

i fell out of contact with my dad's side of the family about 6 years ago when i had an incident with him and haven't seen/spoke to him since, and i ran into one of my grandma's friends and she said she was in the hospital not doing too well (she was in the hospital a few years prior, with breast cancer)... and since i broke all contact with everyone on that side of the family, i don't know if she's alive now or not... the worst part is that she was one of those grandparents that were just so freaking special and spoiled the fuck outta me regardless of what situation i was in with my dad...

so i feel ya conor... but you should call them. the only regret i have in my life is not picking up the phone and simply asking how someone is... and once they're gone, they aren't comin' back... and there's no escape for your regret.

[LoveKat]

i am only close with two members of my extended family
they seem not to like me very much
stupid rednecks :(

[Joanne]

heh.... my extended family thinks I'm some white-washed girl (well... errr....) who can't speak or understand chinese or filipino.

try listening to them speak to you in awful, broken, FOB english....

needless to say, we don't talk.

--Joanne :P

[Guice_39]

Originally posted by bob:
you wanna know what really sux?

i fell out of contact with my dad's side of the family about 6 years ago when i had an incident with him and haven't seen/spoke to him since, and i ran into one of my grandma's friends and she said she was in the hospital not doing too well (she was in the hospital a few years prior, with breast cancer)... and since i broke all contact with everyone on that side of the family, i don't know if she's alive now or not... the worst part is that she was one of those grandparents that were just so freaking special and spoiled the fuck outta me regardless of what situation i was in with my dad...

so i feel ya conor... but you should call them. the only regret i have in my life is not picking up the phone and simply asking how someone is... and once they're gone, they aren't comin' back... and there's no escape for your regret.

Yeah, one of my buddies is in that situation. Him and his dad hate each other and he got booted out of the house and now lives at his girlfriends place. It sucks, I keep telling him that all this fighting shit is not worth it in the end no matter how bad it is now. But he sees them on special occasions still and at the last one him and his dad got along fine. I think they just needed some time away from each other, but I feel his pain when he tells me he's the one always getting shitted on for very stupid reasons because hes the oldest child in the family, I am the oldest in mine and its sooo true.

[deja]

sometimes my parents get like that just because they are mad at me for dumb things. They act like i'm a stranger to the house andt hey ignore me. it's not a nice hting to do. When they are in bad moods, they take it out on me.

[bob]

Originally posted by Guice_39:


Yeah, one of my buddies is in that situation. Him and his dad hate each other and he got booted out of the house and now lives at his girlfriends place. It sucks, I keep telling him that all this fighting shit is not worth it in the end no matter how bad it is now. But he sees them on special occasions still and at the last one him and his dad got along fine. I think they just needed some time away from each other, but I feel his pain when he tells me he's the one always getting shitted on for very stupid reasons because hes the oldest child in the family, I am the oldest in mine and its sooo true.

my rents split when i was 2, so i never really knew my dad anyways... last time i saw him he pulled a gun on me in the middle of a church and told me to go to malaysia with him to "kill chinamen"... (i think he's a little skitzo)... so yea... i'm not even all that close with any of my other immediate family... i care about them alot, but they don't know me... all they know is that i'm "isolated"... and that's how i keep it... that way nobody has to worry about me and i don't get those "how you doing? are you ok?" phone calls...

[Gold Streaks]

i barely even know my immediate family. all hell broke loose when i was sixteen. we have gone through some tragic shit and now we seem to be drifting. i haven't seen my dad in almost a year and now he all of a sudden wants me to go to newbrunswick to see my grandparents cause it'll probably be my last chance. i would love to but my job has extremely strict regulations on well... everything and as much as i hate my job i need it for now.

[mushmellow]

with my family...i very close to my little cousins and well, the whole family i guess...i used to live with my grandparents and stuff....i know im very very lucky for that...but my moms side...they are all racist towards anyone thats not white....except for family...and i bitched my uncle out harsh for saying that he wouldnt ever let someone that wasnt white in his house (im half chinese) and since then i have seen him once and we got in a huge agrument ad i freaked out and called him a racist asshole that isnt my family...and my mom got really upset and everything...now im not close to anyone on her side..since my grandmother died....basically i have one family now....but even then...i dont see them much because im always working or at school....etc...but my advice to you someguy is to call and just be like...hi how are you doing...and maybe apologize for not keeping in touch...and the mistakes...it could really help her...maybe it will make her more peaceful when she does pass away...to see that people do care...

[c.tard]

ahhh strangers in the family. pretty much goes for me and my moms side of the family.
i just recently met my omi for the first time (well first time that i remember anywayz) and a second cousin of mine, Krista. It was weird, but good in a way.
But fuck, my whole family is strangers to me pretty much, except one of my aunts. but even then I don't talk to any of them often. I'd say just call her up and say i. or one day if you can (ot sure where she lives and what not?) just over and visit. bring her some flowers.. see hows shes doing. give her a big hug. it might be nice for her to see you once more, better then just talking. and hey, even if she is a extremely religious like your mom, just hold back for a few minutes while your there. fuck what your thoughts are about it. your there to make an old lady happy right? let her hve her views.. andif you really get angry.. on the drive home just let it all out (in a safe way of course! =P)

[Beaker]

I can;'t relate...I am close with alot of people on both sides of the extended fam. but I DO know what its like to feel like the people in your home are complete strangers. All living their own individual lives yet hardly interacting amongst themselves. Oftentimes I feel as though my family is like this. we are all so busy we dont have time to get to know one another....Alot has changed since I was 13 years old ask me about it Dad!