How do you get over someone?

[Magi]

Soooooo

I met this girl back in January. She's one of those girls that walks into a room and immediately gets every guys attention.

Me, I've come to grips long time ago with who I am. I am not a stud, not a player or anything even close (I'm not an ogre or anything though), and I quickly came to the conclusion that this girl was way out of my league, and regarded her as a piece of eye candy and nothing more.

Well, things worked out differently. I ended up having 2 classes with this person, and since I pretty much used Douglas as my second home (everything I needed was there or within walking distance) I spent a lot of time there, and so did she. We ran into each other a lot in and out of class, and soon became pretty good friends. We would sometimes sit beside each other during class, spending our breaks talking with each other, etc...

Towards the end of that semester, I started getting feelings for her. I found out a lot about her during our chats. She was totally different from what I expected. See, I have this stereotypical view of hot asian women. I view most of them as materialistic, snobby, oriental blondes. She didn't fit this mold. She broke it into a million pieces. I guess she kinda got the hint that I was becoming interested in her in "that way", so she kinda got distant and thankfully exams came and went and the semester ended before I could do something really embarassing that would not only humiliate me but probably her as well.

Called her up a couple of times after semester. Nothing special, just a "hi how are you doing" kind of call. Didn't call her for a long time after that, and when I tried to again, number had changed, or she had moved or something. I took a night class this summer, and bumped into her a few times, chatted for a few minutes each time but nothing. After each encounter with her, I always think to myself what I'm going to say next time I see her, but since everytime we meet is so totally random and unexpected, I always get tongue-tied and nervous.

I'm typing this now because well, you guessed it, I bumped into her again today while I was at school studying for my accounting final (which I totally rocked! ACCOUNTING whut?! :264: ), and the exact same thing happened again. Just when I think I'm about to get over her, I run into her, and all those feelings and emotions come back stronger than before. The semester is now over, and I have no reason to go back to school except to pay my fees for next semester, so I probably won't run into her again until September.

Me and her are in the same program, hence why we seem to cross paths alot. It's also a university transfer program, so I know she has plans on transfering to SFU or UBC later on. She's almost a semester ahead of me, and because I'll probably have to re-do a few courses to boost up my GPA, she could very well transfer a whole year ahead of me. I'm starting to realize that my window of opportunity to "make my move" is starting to grow slimmer by the day. I lost her number, way to nervous to ask for it again, and I never even got a concrete answer as to whether she was involved or not.

And that brings me to the point of this thread. I did some thinking, and decided that there were 2 courses of action I could take at this point in time:

- Find her and tell her how I feel.

- Get over her.

I decided on the latter. I figure it's the best thing to do (but hey, if you can give me a good reason as to why I should pursue the first option, by all means please share :)).

Back in high school, I used to get over my crushes (all 2 of them ) by just telling them how I feel, waiting till they told all their friends and everyone started bugging me about it, and then letting the natural urge to rip their throats take over me, but I think this time there has to be a better approach.

So how do YOU get over someone?

thanks for reading. :)


holy shit this is actually longer than I thought.

[sungoo]

there seems to be a few omens in your life that tell you not to chase after her...

and I think you should just take a hint.
get over her and you ask how? with time.
Just do stuff to keep yourself busy. Hang out with friends, meet more people etc.
Eventually you'll meet someone who'll feel the same things you feel and you'll completely forget this girl that you're currently infatuated with...

[Kelster]

she got distant when you showed you were interested?
i don't think telling her how you feel would do much

either forget bout her, or pursue a closer friendship with her...which you neverknow, can maybe lead into something else ;)

[Magi]

Originally posted by Kelster
she got distant when you showed you were interested?
i don't think telling her how you feel would do much

well, ya that's why I decided on option #2 ;)

[Cdn_Brdr]

Been there before.... similar situation but not the same. I mean if you think thats bad try getting over someone you've actually spent 3+ years with.... I've got one word for you on how to get over her: TIME.

That's the only thing that works my friend... there is no surefire cure.

[Chet]

other women seem to work ok
you will think of her less and less faster than it you don't bother and just brood about it all the time

other than that it's just like everyone said
go to the gym

[Lostcause]

Or do what I do....
When in doubt puch them in the face then you can never go back and have to move on it makes things go quiker.....
No quik fix my ass.

[Jingles]

I'm going to disagree with people here and say :Time heals nothing

time just makes things further away - you have to work to heal yourself - I mean if in a long term relationship and you break up - you could potentially be miserable forever if you allow yourself to be
Part of healing is deciding to heal - allow time to be your aid, but it alone is not a cure.
We get so focused on - why is he/she rejecting me? What is wrong with me - when truth is there is nothing wrong - it's likely the other person that has the issue
Ultimatley - you'll feel better when you are ready - you should go out and make an effort to have fun, notice others - notice who is noticing you
smile when you see her - and think about what she's missing out on

[Partizan]

all it takes is time... i knew this amazingly hot girl in highschool and all her friends were tellin me that i shud ask her out and stuff cuz she thought i was "cute" but i was too fucking shy to even start a conversation wit her.. then eventually some other guy took her and ive been kickin myself since ... then she moved to north van but i still have a chance cuz i seen her kid sister [who looks exactly like her just younger] in my school .. anyways i still think about her but i dont have feelings for her anymore.. its hard to forget ppl that make an impact on ur life or when u know u could have had that but said no.. its also really hard to forget ur first love..

just give it time and try to keep ur mind off it by doing things wit other ppl and interacting wit other girls.. just go to the mall and chek out some girls and ul forget all about those other girls.. works for me lol

[alkatraz]

after the initial shock/pain is over, time won't help

there's only 2 cures that work to make you forget:

1. mindless, wild, crazy, monkey sex (no, not sex with moneys, monkey-sex)

2. falling in love with sum1 new <-- dangerous! avoid at all costs

[frontline]

i feel ya man...just outta my first serious relationship...its fukkin hard...ive learnt so much about myself that it just kinda overwhelmed me...the only zinger is that she said she will give me another chance..but in the future...so i ride the emotional rollercoaster from hell everyday. i look at is as it is easier to hate someone then to love them. im not giving up hope

[bob]

how do you get over someone?
climb.

[Magi]

Originally posted by Chet
other than that it's just like everyone said
go to the gym

hehe, part of the reason I started working out 3 months ago was because of her. I remember looking in a mirror, and going "I don't want this body, why should she?". That, and cuz my friends, parents, and friends parents finally convinced me it's a good thing.

When I do get over her, I think I'll still work out. ;) it beats staying home all day. I've just about doubled the amount of weights I can do an almost all the excercises (note: I was a really really weak kid to begin with).

Originally posted by bob
how do you get over someone?
climb.

ha.ha.

I was waiting for the token "literal interpretation" from someone. 11th reply...not bad.

[M4rtin]

You're already not dating her, right? So what's the worst that could happen if you did ask her out? She might not stop and talk to you anymore (which is awful awkward anyway).

I think of myself much how you described yourself. I didnt date much growing up, etc .. BUT the last girl i dated changed my opinion on "out of my league" bullshit.

Went in to the Barfly, won $50 at the casino, had quite a bit to drink, (all putting me in a great mood) and went to call it a night in the hotel room. I was supposed to be crashing in a 2 bed room with 2 guy friends and 2 girls. One of the guys decided to go home with some other people and the other guy was sorta seeing one of the girls, so i was left sharing a bed with the other girl. I had been thinking that she liked me for a while and ended up kissing her that night.

It's something totally out of character for me and i probably wouldnt of done it without the booze. Needless to say it was awkward in the morning but we talked about it and ended up spending a little time together, and eventually wound up dating. I found out after we were dating that she didnt think of me that wat AT ALL before that night, but making a move put the idea in her head.

It didnt end up lasting, but it was a great 3 months. I'm much happier having acted on it, than sitting around all mopey wondering "what if?".

[stringbeans]

spend as much time as you can with your friends

[Partizan]

the what if thing is a big fucking jackass...

50 percent chance u get the girl
50 percent chance she doesnt wanna talk to u again

what the fuck.. seriously!!

[BB_YungYung]

The question here is
do you have any regrets not going for her in the first place?

see how I see things

What is there to lose
if you have nothing to begin with

You can go for her if you like
you see her here and there, but you guys aren't that TIGHT
if you are into her, then go for it...... like I said, what is there to lose? since you don't really have a solid relationship with her anyways.. right?

if she is to reject. you. then.... it's okay.
cause there are lots of girls out there..... even though I know how hard it is to find the right one
But there are lots of girls out there, and as for love....and life
it kinda shows up when you think you've lost all hope in finding the right person... and all you want to do is have fun.

But have fun..... think about....... BOOBIES..... i don't know
Boobies is just my word to get peoples minds off of stuff and go WTF.
anyways.... forget about her, but if you bump into her again, and you want to go for it, go for it...

what ever happens happens and you will always walk away with the one thing that should be the most important love in your life, that is yourself.

Lates