how do U tell some 1 something that they don't wanna hear?

[~snow*white~]

i've done something that i know alot of ppl are gonna be probably disappointed in me and will look at me a different way. how do i tell them that it's my decision and this is what i wanna do? it's so hard cuz i know they'll prob just blow up in my face or talk about me behind my back and i really don't want that especially from my good friends!! i'm so lost cuz i don't wanna hurt anyone but i also wanna do what I want to do......how can i let them know that it's ok and i'll be fine and they dont have to worry? it might sound easy just to go up and tell them what it is but it's not because they dont understand my situation cuz they aren't in it. and they'll really take it the wrong way.......?

[Erica]

If it's something that you want to do, it makes you happy, etc. etc., then go ahead and do it. You shouldn't let what other people think get in your way. But make sure what you're wanting to do isn't something that's bad for you. Cause somebody reading this post could say, "Well, that something I want to do is heroine...it makes me happy...so I shouldn't care what my friends think and I should go ahead and do it." I'm sure it's nothing to that extent, but that's just an example. If you trust your judgement and feel like there's nothing wrong with what you want to do, then do it. We can't spend our entire lives trying to fit in, be accepted by others, please others, etc. We live one life...and that life is your own. So go ahead and make your own decisions, based on what YOU want for yourself. Otherwise in the future, you might look back and regret not doing it...and live day to day, wondering what it would have been like, or how it would have changed your life.

Erica :AZN:

[yoko*]

is it drugs!?? hah.

juss joke...

you just tell them and be confident about it. if ur confident enough about knowin wut ur doing and knowin ur happy then isn't that all that matters? The main thing should be that you're happy... unless it affects other ppl's life by you doing it.. then maybe u should rethink the consequences of wutever ur doing...

you just have to be confident about ur decision... and make sure that you catch them at a time where they can't just leave cuz they're "busy".. if it's really THAT important then make time... make sure that they have time as well..

the rest is yours.

[c.tard]

Originally posted by ~snow*white~
they dont understand my situation cuz they aren't in it. and they'll really take it the wrong way.......?

if they don't understand you situation, that's prolly why they are reacting so harshly. ppl get scared of things they don't understand [i do it 2.. everyone does.. it's natural..]
so you know what you ahve to do? sit down talk with them, explain your situation. you have to help them to understand your situation. maybe once they understand your situation and your reasoning maybe they won't be so harsh about it all.

but they won't understand until it happens to them or someone explains it to them. it's prolly best if you explains your situation to them.. make them understand..

[~lazee_grrl~]

well..it is UR decision to have done wut u did...u probably wouldn't have done it if u didnt' wanna..but yeah..and since u feel a need to tell ur friends..u should go ahead and do so..but since this is sumthing that might shock them...catch them at a good time..and just spill....if they freak at u and take it the wrong way...well..sum people usually do..but u must remember ur telling them cuz u want to..u don't have to..cuz since its ur own personal thingy..u don't hafta tell neone...and if they all take it the wrong way..then explain to them why ur telling them..for wutever reason it is...not so they can freak at u...hopefully they take it well...good luck~

[~snow*white~]

thanks you all!! and no it's not drugs....
this situation is something that i should tell them because it's something that everyone will know after a while, i don't think i can keep it a secret for too long. it's been long enough and i think she needs to know but everytime i mention something about it, she's like whatever, you're not goin to end up doin that or she just changes the subject. it is my decision and i have done it so i don't have any what if's and it's what makes me happy, but i also care about what my friends tell me cuz they want the best for me and i would do the exact same too if this whole thing was switched around but it's not. i will tell her and all but i don't know when a good time would be and i know for sure that she'll freak on me cuz i didnt tell her sooner and she'll talk and she'll disapprove and not be the same for awhile. that's what i don't want to happen at all..........if she wasn't so stubborn she'll totally understand and everything will be all good........

[kiMMie]

Be strong Ainslie...be the individual you wanna be. Don't let what others tell you or say about affect your decision. That shouldn't matter. Do what's best in your :027: cuz if you don't, like you said, you may regret it later on.

And if hiding it affects the friendship more than saying it... then I would say it. Because if you tell your friend...and if he/she is your *friend* they will eventually accept and understand it over time. If you hide it, they may feel betrayal and anger towards you cuz you weren't honest with them. I guess this depends on how close you are with this friend...

Good luck though. These decisions are tough, but you'll pull through. :Kimmie:

[~snow*white~]

i just told my so called "friend", a person who is supposed to be there for you whenever you need them, what i wanted to say to her. she reacted like i knew how she would react. surprised but also no help and still trying to change my mind saying bad things to me about it so i think twice. she'll never stop doing that cuz that's the way she is. i told her that it was my decision and i want her to be by me through whatever happens and all she has to or can say is "whatever" whatever?! what the f*** is up with that? shes my best friend and all she can say is whatever?! i'm so hurt.........she just doesn't understand me and i try to explain but she just blows up on me............i'm so mad and hurt that she's not there to really help

[~lazee_grrl~]

ack..so ur friend reacted as u thought she would?...and wut doesn't matter is that she changes her mind about ur situation...but that she accepts it...in time..she;ll learn to accept it...friends usually do...its just hard for them to understand and adjust at first...don;t worry ainslie....stuff eventually gets better~..

[dragon boi]

aww poor ainslie i know wjo be talkin bout...does her nname start with a S?
if so i cant believe that she could be shuch a bitch about it....is this thing really that bad that even S**** wont disaprove?
or is it that she doesnt know how to express herself towards you and thats the only way she knows how?
i dont think she can be that stuborn can she??
if ya need ta chat jsut holla
~trevor

[~snow*white~]

yeah it basically is who you think it is but it's also some other ppl too cuz i know how they wil react. she is that stubborn and she doesn't understand at all! i'm so pissed off that everything i do i am so outta it and ppl even notice it. this is how much impact she has on me cuz i'll try to be happy cuz i'm doing something that i love to do but then no she has to put me down and the rest of the day i'm so sad and mad and can't stop thinking about what she says to me!!
it isn't that bad but just steph doesn't approve of it cuz u know her she doesn't really approve of whatever i do. i don't care if she approves or not, i just want her to be there through whatever happens.........argh.........why do ppl have to be so complicated and difficult?!?

[dragon boi]

well you know that everyone here is behind ya back and we'll support u in anything except heroin.....haha ne ways what ever u are planning to do is cool wit me...as long as its not heroin

[galaxie]

awww *hug*
I'm really sorry to hear that your friend reacted that way! That's totally not cool. Maybe she's just worried about you and doesn't know how to deal with what you've told her?
Like Jen said, she may never agree with it, but she'll have to learn to accept it because she basically has no other choice.

If I were you, I'd wait for her to calm down a bit (like a few days?) and then try talking to her about it. Explain your reasons for making the choice that you did, and TELL her that you don't expect her to understand, or to agree, but you do expect her to be there for you because that's what friends are for.

If you tell her all this and she still gives you so much attitude, I personally wouldn't be able to call her my best friend. I know that I could never tell my best friend anything that was my choice to make her lose respect for me or think less of me. Well, unless of course I killed someone or something. You know what I mean.

Just try talking to her, and I hope that everything works out well for you hun! Good luck :031:

[~snow*white~]

i'm so tired of all this stuff that she's puttin me through. so i told her and she argued and bitched and probably bitched about me to other ppl behind my back and now she doesn't really talk to me. it's been like a few days after i told her and i thought she would get over it right? but no she hasn't. she's really stubborn and she won't call or talk unless i call or talk first.
i have explained my reasons on why i did what i did but she doesn't get it. she'll never get to accept it at all. she's told me that she doesn't agree and stuff for awhile now but i never really listened. she makes my days all stressful and stuff cuz i worry about losing a good friend that i have learned alot about and that shes been there for me all the time but just not right now.
what should i do? do i need someone else to talk to her about it for me and maybe she'll understand it better or will she probably take it the wrong way?

[dragon boi]

ainslie
i'll help ya out if ya let me
but i need to know whats goin on too
if ya dont need mah help i understand
~Trevor