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Nov 12, 03
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friends with ex's
so we broke up and now were supposed to be friends, good friends..
any of you try being friends with an ex? did it work out? i really like this guy so i want this whole bestfriend thing to work out, no sex or games i was thinking that we should not see/talk to each other for a couple of weeks to let things cool off are there rules or something to being friends with an ex? 
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Nov 12, 03
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i'm friends with all my ex's... and that's quite a few... but as long as you make it clear there are no hidden agenda's.. everything can be hunky doory
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Nov 12, 03
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we both think it's best we don't touch each other anymore, but that's not what we're doing so far and i wouldn't be surprised if things don't change like we're saying they will he said that he wouldn't be dating anyone for a loooong time, which i know he means, but you never know when someone perfect comes along..even if the whole no sex thing works, i know i'll be jealous and upset i want to keep him in my life, but i know someones going to get hurt soon enough, which is why i kinda just want to never talk to him again...but maybe we can work it so that neither of us get hurt?
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Nov 12, 03
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I love my Ex... He's soo funny.
We still hang out and snuggle and watch movies and stuff. The thing that got me was when he started dating my friend..or him seeing anyone in general got me a little jealous, and visa versa so.. I tihnk its cool to be friends if you just keep your love life out of it.
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Nov 12, 03
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Nov 12, 03
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Some of my closest friends are exes, and I think it usually works great in the situation where you're involved with someone and the two of you collectively realize you're just better as friends.
I think that if you come out of a really serious and/or long-term relationship with someone it is hard to just jump into friendship a lot of the time. I think friendship is possible, but you really need to have some breathing room first. Otherwise it will just get really awkward in a lot of ways (this is the way that a lot of former couples start fucking again, and it can make things reealllly awkward.) I think people always ought to ask themselves if they really want to be friends with the ex to. A lot of people get fooled into thinking that because there was a relationship at one point in time, there is some kind of obligation to be friends with the person. This makes things WAY worse in the end. in your case kelly, I really think that before you jump into friendship you should definitely give the two of you some space. I hope you're doing ok, you know how to reach me if you need to talk..or drink :P M
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Nov 12, 03
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i really want to keep him as a friend, we have a good relationship and he's a really good person...but i'm kinda worried that i might also be holding on in hopes that we can get back together someday
its been a week since we broke up and before i wanted to never hear from him again, but i'm doing better now and i know that i don't want to lose our relationship i think a break is the best way to go, but i didn't bring it up because i was hoping it wouldn't be necessary, but it definitely is for the both of us how long do you think we should wait before we start hanging out? are we allowed to talk during our break? i'm clueless right now, and my thoughts are too shoocken up to think straight....i guess it all depends on the situation i'm thinking until this semester is over, before he leaves for christmas....blaaa that's such a long time, but i want too make sure we've had enough time myra...talk/drink/shop sounds nice, its been awhile :/
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Nov 12, 03
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Im friends with all of my ex's, basically all of my closest friends who are girls are my ex's...so im in support of being friends with ex's! you just gotta get over the jealous thing and then stuff will be jolly good.
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Nov 12, 03
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hmm ive only realy stayed friends with one ex, and it took us about 4 months till we could talk, i was extremely pissed off because of the things he said to me when he dumped me, and he just didnt want to see me anymore.
we talk but thats about it. there was not anything specail at all about our relationship, its just we were friends before so its nice to be able to still chill with our group of friends together. i havent felt it neccessary to hang onto any other exes.. none of them have truely seemed worth it. at the time when we broke up i thought i would never ever want to not be around them.... but soon learned that boys come and go, and there is so much better out there, and they were a moment in my life that was over, like yesterday. this guy must be specail if you feel you want to keep the relationship. so do eveyrthing you feel is right to keep it. listening to anyone but yourself can only get you into trouble. just be truthful, you are the only one who has any idea of what your relationship was\is and what feelings are involved besides the guy.
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Nov 12, 03
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im not friends with any of my exs,i wanted to be but they just wanted to get back 2 gether or get a piece of ass and they wouldnt understand that I didnt want either things. I tried being friends with one of my ex`s but he went all fucking loopty so i cut pretty much all ties with him,we talk once every 6 months or so and hang out maybe once or twice a year.
But i reccomend having 2-3 months of chill time,just so that u can have some time to heal.
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Nov 12, 03
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I'm still best friends with one of my ex's, but we were really good friends before we went out. I've also known him since I was 15, and we've been through alot of stuff together. We promised each other before we dated that since the friendship was the most important thing, we would try to preserve it at all costs even if dating didn't work out.
That being said, it still took us MONTHS of barely-hanging-out and semi-regular phone calls to get back to normal. If you can do it, it's a great thing. You have a friend that you've shared alot of different things with who understands you unlike most other people. The only trick is not to fall back into regular patterns of dating (ie: Sex With The Ex). Make sure that a fully platonic relationship is what you both want, otherwise the emotional pain and turmoil will ruin everything you're trying to save. I wish you luck.
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Nov 12, 03
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Nov 12, 03
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Hey kel, sorry to hear about this. I'd say go about your normal routine, without him for awhile. if he phones, talk, but only when he phones. take a break from him...
time will go on and either you'll see him again or you wont... as long as your remember that the best way to get over someone is someone else you'll be fine :c-tard:
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Nov 12, 03
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yea it never works out
cause even if its "mutual" the jealousy factor comes in and if rumors start goin.. haha it sucks to be involved but its funny to be on the outside looking in
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Nov 12, 03
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mmmm, my 9 month relationship ended, its been 3 months, about 2 months since talking till she called and wants to get back together, i dunno myself really what to do.......if we start seeing each other, im worried about getting hurt again which i dont want, being friends....i dunno, things are to personal between the two cause of what we shared, i just don't think it'd work out without myself getting hurt again. Think it over, and try to listen to your thoughts and what your needs are, there are plenty of people out there....good people that'll treat you right and be a better friend and bf/gf then the person you were with. Just give it some time hang with friends get your mind of the subject, dwelling on friendship or getting back together is unhealthy...trust me
hope it works out
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Nov 15, 03
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I dunno, often the desire to be friends usually evaporates for me. *shrug* Its always been over when it ended? I think if you were friends before you dated, it'd make sense, otherwise it'd be extremely delicate to make it work. 2 bits Dave-id
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Nov 15, 03
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I still live with my ex (seperate rooms, of course)... guess it's kind of weird, but I can't just kick her out or anything yet, since she moved over here from the Island with me. But yeah, we get along for the most part... then again, I guess its only been less than a month. ;)
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Nov 15, 03
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Personally, I'm not friends with any of my ex's except for one who I only see occasionally. I figure that we still get along because we only went out for like a month (not even) and it wasn't serious.
Kel, I think the break thing sounds like a good idea. You both will definitely need some time to get over being comfortable with one another as significant others, and accept that you're going to JUST be friends. Make sure you discuss the break idea with him before going about it - otherwise he'll think that you hate him for the breakup and the chance of you being friends will pretty much be shot. Also, make sure that you guys decide on some rules about the break re: phone calls, internet chatting, hanging out, etc. I also would not advocate the sex with an ex idea...I've never done this myself but I've had friends who seemed to think it was a good idea when in the end it just made everything 298763243 times worse! Oh, and call me. We'll shop and eat and all that good stuff <3
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Nov 16, 03
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Do you sleep with all your good friends? My ex is still amongst one of my best friends, mostly because the way we broke up was pretty simple, without all the melodrama that high school relationships seem to kick around. I feel zero jealousy when she tells me about guys she's thinking of dating... mostly because *gasp* I've moved on. It's possible, but not without certain levels of maturity on both sides.
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Nov 18, 03
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i dont like ex's.
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