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Oct 06, 01
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After 5 + years.
I dont really know where to start.
Im really dissapointed with the last 5 years of my life relationship wise. Have i have a GF within that time? no But i have had many "friends" and today i finnaly found out because i asked the right girl. "What do you see in me." A very very very awsone friend -she replied. She also went on to say many other nice compliments and stuff. that opened my eyes even wider. It struck me right then and there. I must be doing something worng because thats all i have ever had is friend-girls. Nothing more . (never been kissed) And i had my 17th birthday last month. How pitiful it feels. Some say its cute when they find out, but truthfully it hurts to see other "couples" kiss. I even have to look away cause i cant bear it. The sadness and lonliness i have gone through has made me unhappy during the past months even though my life hasn't been any better. I have also come to assume too much and make an ass out of myself because i see it a certainway (non experienced). I know my day will come but i dont know when. I need some help with what i'm doing so wrong. From now on i dont know what to do. But im going to try different things. If any advise could be given . Nows your chance. :( 
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Oct 06, 01
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i don't know you, so can't give you "advice" advice.. but uhm...
ahhhdunno perhaps you should juss focus on other stuff? i think, when you're SEARCHING for something, all the time you spent on looking seems SOOOO long... if you focus on other stuff, and just let "love find you"... then.. y'know... going au-naturelle is the best. juss bein urself n focus on other stuff.. sumtimes, when we focus too much on being perfectionist, we tend to make an ass outta ourselves.. (that's juss my philosophy but i dunno..) i was preparing for an interview from my friends. i had no reason to be all nervous cuz they were my buds.. but becuz I stressed so much about it i started shaking.. durin the interview n made an ass outta myself.. n plus, time juss seems to go by so slow when ur expecting sumthin to happen... okay that was a stupid comparison butchoo get the idea... (i got the spot by the way woohoo) i dunno. i'm real brain dead today... best i can say fer now..sorrie.
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Oct 06, 01
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ok crunchie, you're in the same shoes as my best guy friend... so i know what's up... hehe...
in my opinion, there's 2 kinds of guys in this world... those who try. and those who don't. if you're NOT a HOT guy, then u have to eventually accept the fact that girls aren't going to come up to you and make your life easier by pimpin' you out... you're gonna have to "go out and them, tiger!"... my best guy friend never gets the girl. cuz he has no confidence in himself, and he takes the friendly approach to a girl. meaning, if he ever meets a girl, he doesn't go further than a friendship. and if he does decide that "it's time" to go further, it's probably too late and the girl is already settled on the idea that they're "just friends"... oh man i'm drunk... sorry, i'll try to give better advice when i'm sober... it too me an hour to post this, haha... sorry man
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Oct 06, 01
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maybe.. just MAYBE.. life goes beyond girls *GASPS* yes.. its true.. there is a life outside of girls and whatnot.. once you find it, you'll be a lot happier.
17 and never kissed a girl? wow.. thats SUCHA big deal.. its not. fuck, i know 19, 20 year old guys that have never touched a girl before.. LIFE GOES ON. yes.. its possible.. yes.. you can move on.. no you dont have to focus on such petty and trivial things.. girls dont like guys that are clingy and WANT something more.. girls just love those asshole jerk guys that treat them like shit. oh yeah.. girls eat that shit right up.. "i love you baby" "you be da only one!" uh huh. seriously, do you really give 2 shits if no girl wants you? are you that focused on what other ppls interests with you are? maybe you should lighten up. alcohol does wonders for times like these.
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Oct 07, 01
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stabby you were the one that made the most sense.
though i slightly get where you are comin from bob. plus really i gave up trying so hard about more than half a year ago. its not really the whole kissing thing and all of that. truthfully in my life i have never had anyone "there for me" throughout life i have experienced different things and so on but being loved and being held by the one you love is probably the greatest of them all because i see the comfort in it. you'd have to be in my shoes to know what this is all about. and stabby at this immature stage of my life where it seems girls are more immature than me the go after the most jackass guys. for instance my firend(he is a player that hurts girls) is going out with a really nice girl. I made friends with her as soon as i could because i didnt want her to get hurt. now we are really good friends bu the thing is is that i sorta like her (smack me i know this is really completely wrong) but its starting to feel mutual. but i still cant tell her about his past as much as she wants me to tell her. all i can say is that she has to ask him. we even walked past his previous GF that he dumped for the present GF and i felt her heart break as soon as she saw them holding hands. and i asked him about it and he said "i hope she'd hurt by it" complete and utter bullshit. does it mean i have to become an asshole to get the women? become manipulative and a lying bastard? because i like being caring helpful sweet and polite. if it means im going to have to give up the good things. im not going to. so if anything. "I will be waiting, for you, always"
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Oct 07, 01
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17 and never kissed a girl.. it's not really a big deal...
my last bf was almost 18.. i was his first gf.. first kiss.. all that! did it matter? no i didn't like him for who he's dated or fooled aorund with. i liked him for him. and i did think it was cute.. kinda that whole innocence y'know? never experienced it.. and ya.. but i didn't really care.. and u want to be held by the one you love? [or whatever it is u said.. i forget the exact words] how many of us do u think have actually had that? your a teenager.. you don't always fall in love when ur a teenager.. half the time everyone just thinks it's love but it really isn't.. so that you'll most likely have to wait till your older for..and outta highschool..cuz highschool does stupid things to ppls minds [but iwont' get into that..] but really.. it's kinda like teh whole thing "a watched pot never boils" or whatever it is.. the longer u look and try for it, the longer it won't happen. just let it happen naturally.. don't focus all ur energy on it [not saying u are..just saying don't do that] let it hit u when u least expect it. the harder u look, the less you'll find. i mean when u start looking really really hard, you'll start to see things that aren't really there. so maybe you'llf ind someone.. you might just start liking em cuz they like u..but u really ust like the thougt of having someone. and u think u really like em, but deep down u don't.. u just don't realize it. yet.. then soon enuff you'll realize it.. and it'll all be ove.r.so what was the point of it all when the feelings were never really there? and about ur friend.. if he's like that to girls.. hey.. it's called karma. what cums around goes around [i'm using alotta lil quote thingies in this post..wow..] but it'll all cum back to him.. so don't worry bout it.. if the girls don't even know enuff about him before they go out with him and then they get hurt, i say it's their own fault. you gotta know someone before you go out with them and know if you really like em.. but most ppl don't wait. so they bring the pain upon themselves.. but just give it time..when it's supposed to happen it will.. but don't look so hard.. and hey remember.. good things cum to those that wait.. =]
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Oct 07, 01
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While I wasn't quite in the same boat as you, I didn't get much more than the odd kiss between 15-18. Let me tell you, it doesn't fucking matter. I have a buddy that got nothing until he was 20, now that feels like a distant memory, and one way or another it doesn't matter anymore at all.
Don't lose sleep over it. Be happy with who you are, be confident. That is all you need.
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Oct 07, 01
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Devin
Never EVER change who you are because you think that'll help you get girls. I ADMIRE all guys out there who respect women and treat them right. I think that guys who are cocky assholes and disrespect women are one of the worst forms of scum on the face of this universe (I think you know EXACTLY what I'm talking about). I know how you feel about this whole being lonely and longing to have someone there. I went through that for quite a few years as well before I started dating. And even then, every single one of my boyfriends turned out to be total jackasses. I guess I can't blame them entirely cause it takes two to tango...but yeah, as Stabby said, there is SO much more to life than just girls/guys. Take this time to continue to learn more about yourself and develop yourself. Engage in things that you love to do, or things that you are interested in but haven't had a chance to try before. I think these things are SO important during these years of our lives. Other than that, you have your good friends behind you to love you, be there for you, and support you. If you don't feel that that is enough, maybe your friends aren't being true friends to you? Cause during my single times, I felt so lonely and felt like I needed a guy to be with in order for me to feel okay. But I met a few good friends, and eventually that need just went away...and I was perfectly content, even happy, with being single. Don't let this get to you, kay? I hate seeing you get hurt and it is definitely my hope that when your day comes, the girl will be wonderful and fulling deserving of you. *hugs* Hang in there...
Erica :AZN:
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Oct 07, 01
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ppl that date complain about their partners and those that are single complain about lack of partners.. i think this will bring us to our conclusion that there are no good people out there.. yes... time to give up! errr.. or not..
girls are suckers for a cool guy that treats them like shit cuz when they show some actual compassion and what not, its just "so special" gag. gag.. they wanna change the bad boy but it'll never work, he'll convince you that hes changed and then screw your bestfriend. oh yeah. (ignore this part -- you men are jerks, i hope i make out with some cute lil goth slut soon. oh yeah. you better recognize.. -- ignore this part) the nice good sensitive guys are always right there infront of us and we'll never see it, cuz we are convinced they are gay or too good for us cuz we know we'll break their hearts.. or something like that.. yeah. what erica said, dont change. well maybe your underwear, but dont change your personality to impress some dumb broads. trust me, no one is worth that kinda trouble.. well maybe changing your underwear for them.. but fuck it. {submit}
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Oct 08, 01
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remiscent of 5 Years by Bjork!
you think you're denying me of something
well, i've got plenty you're the one who's missing out but you won't notice until after five years if you'll live that long you'll wake up all love - less i dare you to take me on i dare you to show me your palms i'm so bored of cowards who say what they want then they can't handle can't handle love i dare you to take me on i dare you to show me your palms what's so scary? not a threat in sight you can't handle, you can't handle love Last edited by vesperstina; Oct 09, 01 at 10:15 AM.
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Oct 08, 01
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hmmm.....17 and haven't been kissed eh....well.......ur missing out.....but ur not missing much...well you are in a way....but in a way u aren't...know what i mean....
i agree with what yoko said at the beginning of this....i have also said this to her and other people that ull only rush what uve found when "looking" for love.....its when u stop lookin u find something worthwhile...... but i also know where ctard is comin from......the whole thing about wanting to be in love so bad that u fool urself into believing that u are in love....in my position i sometimes wonder if thats what im doing right now.....but its too early to tell so im jus letting go with the flow and if that turns out to be true well then that sucks........but i have a feeling its not.....whatever im getting off topic.... stabby might have quite a cynical view on things but in a way she has a point....and it coincides with waht erica was also saying.....girls aren't everything....as a matter of fact...theyre a dime a dozen........if ur having this much internal turmoil over the whole situation.....itd probably be best to concentrate on other things that u get pleasure out of.....*no not masturbation......unless that does it for ya*.......but like sports...or friends ....how bout skool...job...anything....something that makes u feel good about urself....somthing that will give u more selfconfidence in urself and ur abilities what ever they might be......then when the time comes...u will be even more prepared to wisk that girl away...... and no u don't have to become an asshole to get the girls....those guys never really HAD the girls.....they jus pretended like they had the girls.......really becuz they were so fake about it.,...they didn't have them.....the playa did....know what im saying....those girls never really liked him for him....it was for that image he gave off...... and whoever said that shit about the whole being an asshole to girls and for some reason that worked.....i now get it all....i have a friend who's like that and i never understood what the hell the girls saw in him....he'd be a total fuckin prick and yet at the end of the day...he'd end up baggin them.......but its so becuz hed play all mr cool and shit and then behind closed doors be somewhat sentimental or compassionate and theyd see that as a flaw and theyd try to exploit it.....but really that was his plan the entire time.....fuck....in a way..thats sorta cool becuz its so sneaky and it works to an extent.....*and i say to an extent becuz he always played them and never got a chance to have more than that becuz of his tactics*...but its also not cool becuz it involves dishonesty in order for him to get those girls....... now what i do is this.......i don't try and hit on girls....i sorta wait for them to start up the flirting...then i make my move......but its what u do before u make ur move thats important...... this might sound stupid nad the last thing ud wanna do but it works......and im not the only one that does this..... be urself god damnit!!! if a girl doens't like u for who u are then she's not a girl that u want to be with in the first place......but if one does seem to be attracted to who u ACTUALLY are and u are interested in her......try not to give in to easily......make her chase u a lil bit.... "the more u act as if u don't care.....the more they want u.." play it cool...if theyre trying to be all warm and getting cozy wit ya then allow it to happen....but don't give in.....do something smooth like say something......and then jus walk away....... this will plant a lil bit of inquisitiveness in her head and she will be wanting to get u back in that position again.........like if ur at a house party or some shit nad this girl is hittin on u.....don't go for it right away......flirt with her sorta and then jus move on......and talk to some friends....go off nad have a good time and make it seem as if she's the last thing on ur mind....this will most likely make her want to talk to u more.....then after a lil bit of this,.....then start slowly givin in more and more....... i don't know if this is too much for u to take in all at once...and its probably better descrivbed in person....but jus remember that the more u act as if u don't care,....the more they will care and they'll pursue u.....it works.....trust me.... corrie
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Oct 08, 01
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whoa....i didn't realize how long that fuckin was....
i hope no one thinks that by what i said im a playa and im one of those assholes that fucks chicks over becuz im not..... i mean everything i say to a girl....i jus play it carefully and word what i say even more carefully..... what i posted in the last post is the only part of the "game" i play...thats it.,...after that i no longer keep the poker face and i show my cards.....so keep that in mind as well..... corrie Last edited by Cowboy; Oct 08, 01 at 09:20 PM.
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Oct 08, 01
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Crunch... I know where your comin from...
Well... sorta.
I've also been living the single life for longer then I had hoped. People always say, oh don't worry, your "only 17" but who the fuck cares? Just cause i'm young means i should be single? It just gets frustrating, seeing other people with someone, and your not. Even though it's something you want so badly, for some reason you just can't find the right person. I'm not killin myself over being single or anything, but it does bother me. Sucks eh? And it's not true that girls want the assholes. i don't anyways. I unfortunatly have no advice to give you. Even if I say "stop looking" or "focus on other things" it's much easier said then done. :)
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Oct 08, 01
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Finally advice i was lookin for :) thanx Cowboy.
yeah i realized that throught the years watching my friend play so many chicks. he cant stay with anyone very long because he's in this mode of "playing" and the girl he's with right now is gettin fed up with it and its been 2 weeks well i came out of here with more than what i came in.... atleat i have a decent gameplan (though it isn't a game)
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Oct 09, 01
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hmm..devin..everyone's pretty much wrote everything..nuthin left to say but good luck..build up ur confidence..and yeah..hope someone finds their way to u~..
as to the asshole guys getting girls..i see it as the girl wanting to be loved so badly that neone who gives her attention..she'll see as love..even if its a an asshole..its still attention.. sean..i dunno..but guys that have girls just seem more attractive...maybe its the challenge or maybe its just a coincidence??
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Oct 09, 01
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its a game whether u like to think so or not....
i personally don't think theres someone thats meant for me out there.......its what u think best suits what ur looking for in a woman.....or a man if ur the opposite sex.....this is why we are given tools used to attract another member of the opposite sex...haha or whatnot...women seem to be given more of these tools....or jus know how to exploit those tools more than men do most of the time.,...but the thing is that the tools they are using are all instruments of the "game" of love...heeh sounds corny but i can't think of another way to put it right now.....the way a girl bats her lashes...or looks at u that extra second before turning away...the way the corner of her mouth dimples when she smiles at u lovingly/devilishly/seductively......thats how they play the game.....u have to realize that u also can have a part in the game plan....maybe it isn't exactly a game since theyre are more sophisticated emotions involved....but it helps to think of it as one a lil.........i don't think about playing the game and "scoring" or anything....im jus saying....the human mating dance can be compared to as a game of body language and timing.....theres more to it obviously...but u don't really have to get all technical about it..,....k i m starting to not make sense so im gonna shut up....... jus learn to read the signs and not be afraid to make an ass out of urself when approaching a girl.....if u make an ass out of urself so what....she'll either laff at u and walk away.....or be amused by the whole show and admire u for ur courage....... fuck jus go hit on some girls man...... =) corrie
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Oct 09, 01
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true...
i don't quite believe its a game.....i jus use it as a description....i jus refer to it as such becuz thats what ive heard friends of mine refer to the whole thing as...... i don't treat women as pawns in my "game" of chess.....but i do realize that women are alot more seductive when it comes to the mating ritual.....so realizing that and making sure u knwo their moves or some common ones...helps u make ur move easier..... but ur right...technically its not a game.....jus a way i like to describe it.....i have too much regard for women to actually think of them in that way....despite what i might have said in the past few posts.... corrie
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Oct 09, 01
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well it turns out my player friend that thought the girl he was with would be a longtime relationship, well he phones my up and said "i'm gonna break up with kim"
otherwise my point exactly she's the sweetest girl and she's my friend he just doesn't have the skills to keep em. i could bet on it that he will divorce many women in his life. I predict i am going to never have a divorce. BTW i tried out that sorta "PLAN" cowboy you said to do. :) thx man i think its workin
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Oct 09, 01
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wurd yo?!?!?!
thas sweet man..... hope all goes well..... jus be urself..if she doestn' go for it...she wasn't worth it in the first place....dont stress.....progress...*down the list of many available females that is...*hehe... corrie
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Oct 09, 01
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well its been about 40 mins since i last posted above cowboy's and it turns out they broke up. :) :( ?? i dunno
well she phones me up with a cheery voice and says "me and Kurt broke up" and so on and so on. and it turns out there was nothing really in the relationship. (*HINT* hey girls dont go for those guys) (*HINT* what you need is me hehehe j/j unless you are lookin for a decent caring and person to be "there" for you) thx everyone :)
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