long term relationships

[Jen-E-03]

I know a few ppl like that too...they are ALWAY in a longterm relationship and once they break up they're back at it again for another few years. It'ds great to have someone there for u, but COME ON being single for a little while never hurt n e one!!

[Jingles]

maybe i'm biased cause i've been single so long...but many of my pals who have come out of a long term relationship have been quick to find someone new - like nearly immediately

and i think, because i agree with Myra, many of them were 'secretly single' even while they were still dating the last person - not that they went out and actively pursued anything new, but they had grown apart and kept on living semi-seperate lives

being totally alone is no ones dream (IMO) that doesn't mean everyone wants to commit to marriage or life partnerships, but human nature is social - we crave companioship, whether that be close friendship or romance. We're social creatures.
Some people are 'serial daters' they are scared to be alone, they don't know who they are withot the eyes of someone else - while others are bachelors for life, content to hump those that come their way while maintaining friendships , some people are always on the hunt, but never seem to find 'the one'
there are many possibilites

i have to remind myself that the path i choose is not always the path for everyone - but i truly believe that we all benefit from some single time, so it makes me a little sad when i watch friends hop from love to love to love
but maybe i'm just jealous?

[.anya]

Originally Posted by LadyShades

How do long-term relationships go somewhere as oppose to short relationships? Most relationships between the 15-25 year age range probably won't go anywhere, they're almost inevitably going to end so how does one have more validity than the other? Unless the long-term relationship results in marriage both are failures that give you nothing more than memories and experience.

I think that a lot of people who jump from one long-term relationship to another do so because they need to rely on someone to be there. The only times in my life where I've missed an ex boyfriend and maybe even questioned getting back together have been when I've been in shit situations with friends or family, I think it's more needing someone to be there, just like my philosophy of old couples who stay together for what seems like forever.. do they really love each other, or is it just that they're so conditioned to the other person being in their lives that it would pointless to divorce them at an old age?

I don't think it's a matter of one type of relationship having more validity than the other, it's just a personal preference (in Miss T's case, they're long-term, in yours it might be different)... And i don't think that the validity of a relationship is determined by any amout of time or calculated value. I think you can take many of the same things from a 1-year relationship or a 1-week relationship, depending on the pacing, passion, chemistry etc etc (but you catch my drift).
"Unless the long-term relationship results in marriage both are failures that give you nothing more than memories and experience." OY!!! Shadi, i really disagree with that statement. why define a relationship as a failure just because it ended? and automatically a 'success' because it resulted in marriage (that is the logical implication here, no?)? after-all, marriage is nothing more than declaring your relationship before the law (well, for me, anyways.) i think that those things that are 'nothing more than memories and experiences', which result from both long-term, short-term, marriage, whatever, are what make a lot of who you are, and your outlook on the world, and definitely a part of your overall paradigm.

Plus, i think that the majority long-term relationships are much more than 'relying on someone to be there.' Yes, at times this is the factor because of which you stick around, but a lot of the time it's a genuine attachment and caring, and wanting to share a lot of who you are with somebody else.

And the whole old couples thing... You know that i'm not one to believe in the whole you-only-love-one-person-in-life philosophy, and it is quite true that in older stages of life, people may just get used to the pace of things, and become 'conditioned'. But again, i think that there are innumerable reasons as to which people (independent of age) stay together, and sadly, more times than not, it's not because they truly love each other, but because of other binding factors, such financial, religious, familial... whether conditioned or not, people in all stages of life stay together because of reasons not even remotely close to the fact that they may not love each other.

[bah, sorry for the essay and a half.] :)

[Courtney]

lady shades.....shadi!? how ru?????????????????????????????????????? ??????????? its been awhile!!