long term relationships

[Courtney]

I've noticed that people who are in serious realtionships for long periods of time always jump from one right into another.I know so many people who have done it. I knew this couple who went out for 3 years and then a month after they broke up they were both with new people, a year later they are both still with the same people.It happens ALL the time,and people who are always in short relationships always just end up in those as well..Does this mean that people who are always in relationships are insecure cuz they just feel lonely when they dont have someone?? because half the time I dont even know if they love the person they are with,they just like the thought of having someone??

[ebbomega]

"If you think the guy's brother did it, you're going to find out you're right."
- Verbal Kint, The Usual Suspects

[miss.myra]

Sometimes long term relationships 'end' a long time before its actually offficial.


anyone else who has been in that situation can understand, I'm sure.

[mapleleaf4ever]

I've seen it before as well. What bugs me the most are when they stay in the relationship even though none of them are happy with each other. "Comfort Factor" my ass... if you aren't happy, find someone that you DO enjoy being with.

[Miss T]

Nobody really wants to alone...so of course everyone will have that insecurity.

I personally like the long-term relationship. Much better than the go-nowhere short relationships. It's nice having someone who knows you better than you know yourself. They are always there for you whenever you need it. Thats why I think its easier for people to go from one long-term relationship to another...because they like qualities of the long-term relationship. They want to share their life with someone else. :)

[Silverwinged]

I agree with miss.myra on this one.

Behind closed doors the relationship might have been over for months, and the two people are only keeping the title of "dating" for social reasons and what not, they just don't feel like they used to. So, it is very possible that they are long over each other before they actually make it public that they aren't a couple anymore, and they can jump into a new relationship almost right away.

[Jess_C]

Sometimes, it is just hard to end it!

[Prissypants]

Originally Posted by miss.myra

Sometimes long term relationships 'end' a long time before its actually offficial.


anyone else who has been in that situation can understand, I'm sure.

/\ Very very true...my last one ended a year before it was officially over.

[Lush]

Originally Posted by Miss T

Nobody really wants to alone...so of course everyone will have that insecurity.

I personally like the long-term relationship. Much better than the go-nowhere short relationships. It's nice having someone who knows you better than you know yourself. They are always there for you whenever you need it. Thats why I think its easier for people to go from one long-term relationship to another...because they like qualities of the long-term relationship. They want to share their life with someone else. :)

hmm I kind of have to disagree here, I don't believe that "nobody really wants to be alone" I think there are plenty of people that are absolutely content with being single.
I take the times I'm single as opportunities to be more independant and focus on improving other aspects of my life. I also don't think that people who aren't in relationships are insecure, it isn't necessarily a matter of not being able to get into a relationship but rather choosing whether you want to be in one.
How do long-term relationships go somewhere as oppose to short relationships? Most relationships between the 15-25 year age range probably won't go anywhere, they're almost inevitably going to end so how does one have more validity than the other? Unless the long-term relationship results in marriage both are failures that give you nothing more than memories and experience.

I think that a lot of people who jump from one long-term relationship to another do so because they need to rely on someone to be there. The only times in my life where I've missed an ex boyfriend and maybe even questioned getting back together have been when I've been in shit situations with friends or family, I think it's more needing someone to be there, just like my philosophy of old couples who stay together for what seems like forever.. do they really love each other, or is it just that they're so conditioned to the other person being in their lives that it would pointless to divorce them at an old age?

[stringbeans]

Originally Posted by miss.myra

Sometimes long term relationships 'end' a long time before its actually offficial.


anyone else who has been in that situation can understand, I'm sure.

sad but true

[sidekick]

Originally Posted by miss.myra

Sometimes long term relationships 'end' a long time before its actually offficial.


anyone else who has been in that situation can understand, I'm sure.

i agree with this as well. sometimes you're just hanging into the relationship because it's comfortable and something you know, whereas letting go is scary.

[miss.myra]

I don't know if letting a relationship stay because you're scared of being alone or letting go always happens either.

Sometimes you just find yourself falling out of love and distancing yourself from the person in so many ways before things are officially called off. I think that usually gives people a lot of time to mentally prepare themselves for being single, and often softens the blow of a breakup (or maybe that's just me)

There are some who are in a situation where a breakup is sudden and unexpected. I think it's wrong to get over someone by getting under someone.

I just think it's silly to pigeonhole all people who go from relationship to relationship into the same category, because it's not always that way!

[robyn]

So true, Myra. I went from a long term relationship into a long term cold, loveless oblivion. What category do I fall under, hmmm?

[sidekick]

yeah myra i agree totally with you..

i said the comfort thing happens sometimes, not always.

[hardstylin]

Originally Posted by robyn

So true, Myra. I went from a long term relationship into a long term cold, loveless oblivion. What category do I fall under, hmmm?

haha me too cept i dont mind it at all. fuck the long term.

[decypher]

Originally Posted by miss.myra

Sometimes long term relationships 'end' a long time before its actually offficial.


anyone else who has been in that situation can understand, I'm sure.

sigh....

[axion]

Originally Posted by LadyShades

hmm I kind of have to disagree here, I don't believe that "nobody really wants to be alone" I think there are plenty of people that are absolutely content with being single.
I take the times I'm single as opportunities to be more independant and focus on improving other aspects of my life. I also don't think that people who aren't in relationships are insecure, it isn't necessarily a matter of not being able to get into a relationship but rather choosing whether you want to be in one.

I completely agree with you on this one. Im the exact same way... im usually alot happier when i am single, for the simple fact that i have alot more time to focus on improving myself. I find that when i am in a relationship i lose perspective on alot of important aspects of my life.

[robyn]

Originally Posted by hardstylin

haha me too cept i dont mind it at all. fuck the long term.

I don't actually mind, either. I actually feel more love now then I did in bad relationship land.

[hardstylin]

Originally Posted by robyn

I don't actually mind, either. I actually feel more love now then I did in bad relationship land.

well im glad were both out of bad relashonship land :) i hate that place

[galaxie]

Originally Posted by miss.myra

Sometimes long term relationships 'end' a long time before its actually offficial.


anyone else who has been in that situation can understand, I'm sure.

I couldn't agree more.

I met my current man the same day I broke up with my ex - we were together almost 2 years. BUT...I had wanted to break up with him for a really, really long time, and I had been unhappy for close to a year. My friends and family were really skeptical at first since they were worried he would just be a rebound, but the reality of it was that even though I technically in a relationship beforehand, my heart and mind were free, and I had completely healed before the breakup even happened.

[Miss T]

Originally Posted by LadyShades

hmm I kind of have to disagree here, I don't believe that "nobody really wants to be alone" I think there are plenty of people that are absolutely content with being single.
I take the times I'm single as opportunities to be more independant and focus on improving other aspects of my life. I also don't think that people who aren't in relationships are insecure, it isn't necessarily a matter of not being able to get into a relationship but rather choosing whether you want to be in one.
How do long-term relationships go somewhere as oppose to short relationships? Most relationships between the 15-25 year age range probably won't go anywhere, they're almost inevitably going to end so how does one have more validity than the other? Unless the long-term relationship results in marriage both are failures that give you nothing more than memories and experience.

Long-term relationships do go somewhere. Would you stay with someone for a long time that you didn't think you had a future with? NO, definitely not.

In the end, everyone wants to find someone to spend their lives with. Nobody wants to be single forever. So that is why I say that everyone has that insecurity of not finding "the one."

[robyn]

Originally Posted by Miss T

In the end, everyone wants to find someone to spend their lives with. Nobody wants to be single forever. So that is why I say that everyone has that insecurity of not finding "the one."

I really have to disagree with that. Most of my dreams involve me in my own house without anyone there to bother me. The idea of spending the rest of my life with one person just seems really irritating.

[Aki]

Originally Posted by galaxie

I couldn't agree more.

I met my current man the same day I broke up with my ex - we were together almost 2 years. BUT...I had wanted to break up with him for a really, really long time, and I had been unhappy for close to a year. My friends and family were really skeptical at first since they were worried he would just be a rebound, but the reality of it was that even though I technically in a relationship beforehand, my heart and mind were free, and I had completely healed before the breakup even happened.

i hear ya loud and clear natalie! i went out iwth my ex for a year and a half and after a year of that relationship i wanted to rip my hair out. its so hard to break up wiht someone...especially when you've been going out wiht them for so long. i was pretty mcuh unhappy for 6 months and after a billion tries of trying to "work things out" it just wasn't working at all...I basically came to realize that i was not in love anymore. one week after breaking up with him i ran into my current bf. i was pretty scared at first because i had just gotten out of a serious relationship and a bad breakup...but he made me feel super happy and i waited a while to see if it was what i wanted and it turned out that i did. i have no regrets what so ever!

[-DLO_604-]

i couldn't have said anything better like miss.myra did.

[Sariel]

Originally Posted by Miss T

In the end, everyone wants to find someone to spend their lives with. Nobody wants to be single forever. So that is why I say that everyone has that insecurity of not finding "the one."

I have to disagree with that statement... I have been single for almost 2 years now, and I am loving it. Sure, I have not found anyone I WOULD date, but that does not bother me in the slightest. I don't feel any insecurity over whether or not I am ever going to find "The One". Personally, I don't care enough about it to feel anything.

But it is true that not everyone can be happy while single...