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Jul 07, 04
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drug addictions
well my friend admitted to being an addict, since then I haven't phoned her,shes being put in a home
I sent her an email explaining why I can't help her out..I have my reasons.. I feel really shitty about it..really shitty about it I'm being a coward but everytime I think about i start to cry 
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Jul 07, 04
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Aww hun, you need to understand that as much as you want to help your friend, you really can't because it is entirely up to them to change if they really want to. Your friend is the only one who can really decide if they want to get help and stop doing drugs, and no matter how hard it is for you, sometimes you have to step away and let them take the reigns themselves.
And if she is a real friejd, in the end, she'll understand why you've made that decision.
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Jul 07, 04
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shiat
Awww...
I'm sorry 2 hear that hun that really sucks... I remember last year right after my yearly vacation 2 Oosoyoos (dun bother tryin 2 pronounce it lol its up past Pentictin)... I was at my buddies house (AGROdave's lil bro Matt) when 2 cop cars roll up with an ambulance n take me away n shove me in2 the isolation room for 6 days (ur onli sposed 2 b in there 18hrs) and then said I had a problem with drugs... I wasn't even using at the time. B But either way, I'm shure she'll get the help she needs & forgive you in the long run. What is the reason you cant help her (if you dun mind me asking)
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Jul 07, 04
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^Its because my other ex best friend was addicted to it about 2 years ago..as were we, but she was much worse into it and we went through some VERY tough stuff involving school and parents..so we both recovered(or so i thought, but really it was just me who did)...so she's actually been doing it for the past 2.5 years straight...which is something I can't bring myself to understand,because she knows how hard it was for me to see the same happen to my other friend.. and I think she knows herself thats the reason why I can't be there for her right now. Also, 2 of my family members have drug problems..so i'm a bit overwhelmed right now.
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Jul 07, 04
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Try reading up on some of that 12 step stuff (AA, NA etc), i think it'd help with your coping skills.
Addiction is more prevalent then you'd think. Addiction can take many forms, from smoking and drugs, to school, work, and even going to the gym. I'm an addict. I have an impulsive and addictive personality. This isn't a negative thing however. It's just something that is. It can be used to benefit and harm. It's good to hear your friend is attempting to overcome her issues, a long painful process. You obviously have your reasons for not visiting her and/or feeling a need to not assist or confront those issues, and that's fine. We all have our comfort zones of what we choose to deal with and what we can't or won't do. Keep in mind however, that because she has an addiction doesn't mean she has 'a plague', curse, or make her any less of a person. Drugs are, more often then not, used as an escape from the hurt and pain of the everyday life they lack the tools or are unable to confront. It's going to be a long, painstakingly lonely journey for your friend as she learns the necessary coping skills so as to not regress back into counterproductive behaviour. Sometimes human contact, a hug, a shoulder to cry on is the best help anyone can provide. Strength to you and your friend through trying times Last edited by Goat; Jul 07, 04 at 04:04 AM.
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Jul 07, 04
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ya im an addict too lucky its to the gym though so i never let my drug use get out of hand, i often think where id be if i never started goin to the gym though probly a fucking junky.If your gona be addicted to something make sure its positve.
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Jul 07, 04
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awww
she can only help herself really at this point you can not do to much for her and she needs to understand that if you have your reasons that you cant be there for her that you just cant but that you still care about her and rite now its a hard time for you to. she has put you in a difficult situation.
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Jul 07, 04
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Quote:
UBER pet peeve. :finger:
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Jul 07, 04
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no one can truly help themselves, they need support from their friends and family who can be there for them when they need them just to cry to them, talk to them.. hang out at home with them on a saturday night when everyone else is out at a party..
thats why people go to AA and NA they have ppl there to support them and not to judge who they were but to help them become better people.
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Jul 07, 04
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Its not cool at all to abandon your friend while shes going through this. This is when she needs her friends the most. Friendship in my eyes is unconditional, come what may you should be there for your friends...and vice versa.
From what youve said you have experienced over coming your own addiction, perhaps your insight into getting through such a trying time would help guide your friend (and your two family members who are addicts as well). Dont be scared of this situation,embrace it with open arms. Not only will it help the healing process for your friend, but perhaps for you as well.
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Jul 07, 04
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im really sorry to heir this i understand where ur comming from my mom died from drugs and shit but u got to be there for her or els shel just whant to give up on it i kno its hard but u really have to do something to be there for her talk to her at least she prolly needs u more then ever plz take care
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Jul 07, 04
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when you were overcoming your addiction were your friends abandoning you instead of supporting you?
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Jul 07, 04
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Quote:
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Jul 07, 04
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I went throught this Courtney. I went through this for sooo long w/ you know who. I tried to be there as much as I could. The thing is drug addicts get really good at manipulating and lying to you. Sometimes you have to walk away. I couldn't though. It'a little different when it's your bestfriend in the whole world. When it's someone you couldn't imagine living w/ out. I just sucked it up and did it , but there is no way in hell I would do that for just anyone.
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Jul 07, 04
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Quote:
If she just goes to detox for 7 days, she will detox some what then be out on the streets again, doesnt matter if shes seeing a therapist or a counsellor on the outs...it wont do much good when the drug is still easy to obtain. And on the other hand, even if your friend isnt serious about qutting...so be it. Dont stop being her friend just cuz shes an addict. If your afraid that it will put you at risk to use then I can understand your reasoning for cutting all ties. But if thats not your concern then you dont have much to worry about. I know it sucks seeing your friends fucked up,but try to see past that. I know its hard, i know this from experience...but it is possible. Your friend needs a strong support system right now,wether or not shes clean or not...she still needs someone there. And dont think that your friend is gonna go away to detox for 7 days then come back and they r all healed, like i said b4 she needs extensive treatment in an in patient center. And even if she goes and comes back theres a good chance that she will re-lapse,and when or if she does...please be there for her. This is coming from someone who has dealt with drug addiction from the ages 13-18. Thus being in drug treatment centers on 3 different occasions. If your friend is 18 or younger i highly reccomend PEAK house in east van. I was there twice and the staff there is awesome and the program is awesome as well. but yeah enough rambling.
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Jul 07, 04
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i didn't read the other replies...
but courtney i don't think your reasons are good nufff to ditch your friend. if she wasn't trying to quit i'd walk away, but she is and i think you should help her out. that's what friends do. as hard as it may be on you, she's going through a much rougher time.
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Jul 07, 04
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^thats the thing though, I don't really think she is trying to quit...
she just started freaking out for days straight and her mom finally figured it out...she claims she's going to go to a home but I don't even know if that will happen so until then I don't know what to do
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Jul 07, 04
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yea that's bunk if she's shitting around.
..but it gives you a good nuff reason to ditch her right now and avoid being around when she does finaly want to quit  hahah...ehhh druggies suck. luckily none of my friends that have quit made their recovery long and dramatic.
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Jul 07, 04
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Quote:
go and OD you creaton.
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Jul 07, 04
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my fave line is
"i can feel my life is getting better..im getting a job soon" fuck that fuckin shits. sorry. its selfish, but i hate associating with ppl who are addicts... i have had ppl who were really close to me turn to the road, and it fucking hurts to see them getting worst and worst. sometimes its a good thing to keep distance and just let them be until they smarten up (if they ever do) its for their best if they're goin for help.. but when they dont need help and REFUSE any help, you're really not doin them any good. ppl who turn their lives to drugs has left a really dark side in my heart.. makes part of me extremly mad, while the other part feels disappointed cuz im being a bad human being cuz im not there for them. i think it has seriously done damage to me.. its not fun to hear "friends forever" or "i love you", then turn around and pour G down their throat or snort more coke. not cool. last week i just got to witness someone close do a really psychotic thing while on drugs.. fucking disgusting. i just want my old friend back. i do have to agree to rhianna.. i love the "i quit coke/meth/g" or wutever and turn around and do 10 caps of E and its "ok" cuz its not coke/meth/g its an "improvement".. wtf. very strong feelings towards this topic.. i dont know anyone first hand that has gone for help..and i really hope people will choose that path more often courtz, if u need to talk..call me. Last edited by bebu*funfun; Jul 07, 04 at 02:25 PM.
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Jul 07, 04
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donut be a coward.
sure it's hard but life is not easy try to imagine what she is going through at least she's taking the steps necessary to help herself there are things that you should not do for druggie friends, ie: give them money, buy them drugs, get them drunk, ect but there are things that you should do, ie: show them unconditional love, call them from time to time to remind them that there is someone who does care, send them things that remind them that of the life they had before addiction always remember that nobody is purrrfect (except me) xoxoxox
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