I need some serious advice.

[neoh]

Originally Posted by silly-girl

Love is one of those things that make us crazy, it just does not go away, it's an incurable disease, some people are immune to it, others fall deep into their sickness and die from it.

A-Fucking-Men.

[Sarah...]

love hurts...
im not too good at the relationship thing but it sounds like to me that u missed ur chance... and now u should let him pass.... and be selfless ...dont interfere with his life and his heart...if he comes to u and u guys end up together in the end then ur very lucky

[ebbomega]

Originally Posted by silly-girl

I notice you quote a lot of people, good for you.

Now come up with something original for once.

Stop acting like a stereotype and I'll stop giving you prepackaged advice.

[FireWire]

Originally Posted by silly-girl

I know this to be true.

but what if he is thinking the same thing I am? That's what kills me.

Nah he's not.

NO guy thinks about giving that girl another chance after she treated him like shit. All guys are like this... once you fuck with them and then dump them - then they HATE your guts and never think about getting back together.

[ebbomega]

Originally Posted by silly-girl

But what if they are not clearly moving on. What if they want me just as much as I want him.

You are supposed to live life with no regrets.

I have but one. Loosing him.

Am I going to be a 80 year old woman, rocking back and forth in my chair with my future husband, thinking about him, wishing he was the one rocking back and forth beside me?

It hurts, god damn it!

You're 21.

You're not supposed to live a life without regrets, you're just supposed to live your life. If you're still pining about someone 60 years down the road after it stopped working out, you have self-esteem issues and having him back isn't going to solve that.

It sucks, it hurts, yes, but this is the risk you take when you put emotional investment into people.

THE MAIN ISSUE IS STOP ASKING ABOUT YOUR ACCOUNT AFTER THE BANK WENT BANKRUPT.

Any person who thinks that their love is devoted to one person and one person only is pretty selfish with it, if you ask me.

"Love is something if you give it away,
Give it away, give it away.
Love is something if you give it away,
You end up having more."
- my Sunday School, circa 1986.

[diva]

if you don't think he's moved on, then have a talk with him, get things out in the open and figure stuff out.

and don't listen to the pos who claims that all guys hold grudges. it's not true.
there's no textbook answer to your question. just got with your gut on this one.

the first post you posted made things seem pretty clear cut, but they're obviously not.

and ebbomega is always biting people's shit. just be glad he gives credit when credit is due most of then time.

[sungoo]

I love how people who say they need some serious advice, ignore most of the best advice, and rather, they just want someone to regurgitate what they want to hear.

[Jen-E-03]

Unfortuanetly you learn from your mistakes. I know someone that has done the same thing as you, broke up with someone for no reason at all...it's really too bad u didnt know what u had till it was gone.

[ebbomega]

Unfortuanetly you learn from your mistakes.

How is that unfortunate?

[FireWire]

Originally Posted by diva

if you don't think he's moved on, then have a talk with him, get things out in the open and figure stuff out.

and don't listen to the pos who claims that all guys hold grudges. it's not true.
there's no textbook answer to your question. just got with your gut on this one.

the first post you posted made things seem pretty clear cut, but they're obviously not.

and ebbomega is always biting people's shit. just be glad he gives credit when credit is due most of then time.

The textbook answer is that if someone has been hurt by a person, he/she will NOT like the person that hurt them. The guy was OBVIOUSLY hurt by the breakup (unless he's a robot and doesn't have human feelings), and now he is expected to get back with that person that hurt him? Just from being hurt by someone, that person automatically starts holding grudges against the person that hurt them. That's how it works. And I betcha you called ME a pos in your post, but that's cause you're a bitch yourself and think that you're a princess and that all guys will always give another chance at a relationship. Unfortunately, you are VERY wrong, and normal guys will HATE your guts for breaking up with them and even worse... breaking their heart for no reason.

[IntakE]

You said it yourself.. you broke up with him for no reason and broke his heart. Then you both were willing to try again and you gave up because you didnt have a LOT of time to see each other. If you care for someone as much as you clame to care for this person you would make the time to see him.

Now that it's over and he's moved on you have to deal with the fact that it is over and move on yourself.

[diva]

Originally Posted by FireWire

Unfortunately, you are VERY wrong, and normal guys will HATE your guts for breaking up with them and even worse... breaking their heart for no reason.

The poster of this thread broke up with her bf for a reason. A shitty reason, but a reason nonetheless.

And a normal man who is/was in love with you will NOT begin hating you when you break up with them. They will be crushed and heartbroken, but hate doesn't arise from real love. They might not understand or be able to grapple with your reasoning, but they wont hate you.

[mugsy]

theres always time for your sig. other.
boyfriend and i have completely opposite and just as important scheduals, but we fill in the little spaces of time we have with each other. today i went to his house for an hour before he had to go to work, and i had to go pick up supplies. it wasnt that long of time, i had to bus out there from my place which on a sunday can be a bit hectic, but fuck i'd do it again and i'd do it anytime. i have no problem gettin to his house at rediculous hours for small amounts of time just to seem him, and vice versa. but i think the main thing that works is the understanding that we are both pretty busy, neither of us gets mad at the other if we cant make it out or see the other one.
but everyone is different, eery circumstance is different.
if he is really moving on, then its time for you to start mending youre own heart. but you should talk to him about it. seems like a good start.

[BongMan]

Originally Posted by silly-girl

This is one option I could take, and from everyone else.

I think the best thing to do is just, sit down with him and tell him what I feel.. and for him to just say "I don't love you anymore, you hurt me too badly and you lost me forever."

Then I can get some closure. I think this is the only way out of my situation.

I appreciate everyones input a lot, and I thank you all for taking your time to tell me about your own problems and being compassionate about mine.

Love is one of those things that make us crazy, it just does not go away, it's an incurable disease, some people are immune to it, others fall deep into their sickness and die from it.

Dont be dumb if you hurt him and he has moved on why even put those goddamn thoughts back into his head. That in my opinion would just be extremely selfish of you and if I was his girlfriend and I found out you tried somthing like that I may just have to girlie fight ya. Best possible route you could take is to just keep ya mouth shut you fucked up you missed your chance move on leave him to his life he is obviously happy why possibly ruin somthin good for him just so you can have some closure??

[BongMan]

Originally Posted by diva

The poster of this thread broke up with her bf for a reason. A shitty reason, but a reason nonetheless.

And a normal man who is/was in love with you will NOT begin hating you when you break up with them. They will be crushed and heartbroken, but hate doesn't arise from real love. They might not understand or be able to grapple with your reasoning, but they wont hate you.

fuck that noise you break my heart aint no way I'm gonna talk to you for a long time and if for some reason I give you a second chance and ya bugger it again aint no way in fuckin hell Im gonna touch ya with a 12 foot clown pole.

[NinjaBoy]

Originally Posted by sungoo

I love how people who say they need some serious advice, ignore most of the best advice, and rather, they just want someone to regurgitate what they want to hear.

You always put it best.

Face it. Your broke up with him, twice.

He's with someone else now. And probably happy. You know what that means? Back off. Trying to sabatoge someone's happiness, is stupid.

[BongMan]

I tottaly agree with ya on that I lost the first love of my life by not wanting to ruin what she had goin with her significant other. Am I sad for it yes but also happy for her that she is happy and in love..

[mapleleaf4ever]

It's a big World... you'll find someone else far more stellar than the last.

[yoko*]

Originally Posted by silly-girl

It's not fair. I just want to go outside his apartment in the rain and cry outside his window, and when he opens it just tell him I still love him, and I miss him so much, and I just want him back. But I know he wont, I broke his heart.. probably more then once. And it's all my fault.

ooo, dramatic!

[Bevvy Swift]

your silly for breaking his heart, so fuck you for that

but if you want to get over him, you have put your cards on the table. if he feels the same way, the badabingbadaboom your happy. if not, then hearing him say it will speed up the process quite a bit.

[impure]

really, you only took the advice you wanted to hear.

people who ask for a second opinion are only looking for someone to agree with them.

it applies to you.
you are being selfish. if he's happy, leave him alone. just because you're not, dosn't mean you have to ruin things for him. i think made a stupid mistake and now you realize it. but in life you don't usualy get two chances, so count yourself lucky that you got a second chance.
yet you still fucked up.
time will heal all wounds, time and alot of alcohol.
you obviously don't learn easily.
making the same mistake twice, with the same guy.

i too have a few relationships (friendships and otherwise) that i miss, but i dont dwell on them. you can't make any progress if you're always looking back. all i can do is move on and hope that one day those people i love so much come back.
you don't hear me whining about it do you?
nope.

DEAL

[justa~gurl]

"nobody said it was easy, it's such a shame for us to part, nobody said it was easy, but nobody said it would be so damn hard"


this is a life lesson for you
take the advice and learn from it
otherwise soon, there will be no one around you to catch you the next time you fall..
this is going to be a long bumpy road ahead of you so be smart and choose your decisions wisely

a very close friend of mine went through a break-up and constantly asked for advice and i was there... he got the best advice that a person could ever ever get, but he choose to stick to being a sucker and didn't take any of it... and now... his family doesn't talk to him.. he is noticing that he doesn't really have any friends anymore... because unfortunately, no one wants to be around a self loathing whiner who doens't do anything to help themselves move forward with their life

i say move on, everyone feels the way that you do when they have a broken heart... everyones first love is "the only one for you"
trust me.. i've thought that about 3 different guys now

if you really truely loved him, his happiness would be good enough for you.

[rawb]

be really annoying and whiny and maybe he'll hf you.