Worrying for my dads future.

[Kandyapple]

Ok so lately I have been thinking a lot about my parents futures since they are getting older. My mom broke her leg really bad a while back during a rough time in her life, and has not gotten back to work since. She has already started tapping into her savings to live right now. Which got us talking about retirement and savings for when she gets old. It also got us talking about her will. And also what would happen if she was ever to get into an accident, where she was no longer in a place to take care of herself, or make decisions for herself. Which was kind of scary but I'm glad we are at least talking about it so I may be prepared when the day comes.

But anyway to the title of my post. This is more about my dad. He just broke his arm the other day, which got me thinking about something happening to him.
Unfortunately he seems to be in denial about getting old and not being able to take care of himself. I asked him if he had ever made a will, and if he had RRSP's or other savings for when he retires. He said he didn't have anything set up. Which kind of freaks me out, because he said he hasn't even looked into any information about it.
I mean I don't expect him to give me all his money. But I know how hard things can get when someone dies, and does not even have a clear will.
Or even when they have one. Right now he is in a common law relationship. And for all I know the money may all go to my step mom if he passes away. And if we don't get along, she may just have her children in mind when she passes on for her money. Which would leave me with nothing from my father.
Also he has nothing written out if he was to become incapable of handling himself. I could not imaging the strain of trying to make a decision for his life if it was up to me. Or for his death.
He just seems to think he will live forever and work until he dies. He has all his money tied into his business. And even after breaking his arm and seeing how easy it is to hurt himself. He still seems to think he will heal fine and move on. (which he may) But he just seems so under prepared for anything. He sees his parents doing ok at 87 and thinks that's just what's going to happen for him.

BAH!!! I feel like I'm parenting my parents right now. I wish I could just convince him to just do it, and make a plan. But it's his life.
I tried to talk to him about how I should be making those kinds of plans too. I think that scared him a little thinking about me dying. But that's life. Shit happens. You may get hit by a car, loose you legs or get brain damage or die. Then what? You can't work, you cant make decisions for yourself. Or you leave people trying to decided where you money goes, if you want to be cremated or buried. All that stuff.
I just hope that maybe he considers some of the points I made the other night. But we left it more at him just continuing doing what he's always done. Putting it off, and thinking he will live forever. Deep down I'm hoping that maybe he does have a plan, and is just not comfortable talking about his death with me just yet.

Anyway I'm totally rambling now. I just needed to get that off my chest I guess. *sigh*

[~Sc@ndelu$~]

I can relate to where you're coming from.
My mom was surprised when i told her that i had just opened up an RRSP account, because she hasn't started ANYTHING for when she retires either. I'm also very scared for her. I wish i could give some advice but i really can't... so if u think of anything let me know too.. its a pretty tough situation to be in. *hugs*

[Kandyapple]

Yah it's my mom that's really pushing me to get savings. She doesn't want me to end up an a rough situation with no money like she had for a while. (she recieved some inheritance which has helped. But she is still chipping at it!!!!) I know she is in the right mind frame, but she needs to get back in gear. My dad is working, but has no future plan. It's like a similar problem with two different delemas. I'll let you know if I find something that helped both of them back on track. :p

[~Sc@ndelu$~]

Yeah like i dont know how they're gonna survive unless they plan on working alllllll the rest of their life? Its sorta depressing to think about...

[Chewy]

just know that your parents want whats best for you.. and everything they do or dont do will have some sort of impact on you when you are older,(hopefully for the better). Things may be difficult for them or for you , but everyday is a lesson to be learned.. I know i cant feel exactly how you are but just know your family and friends are always around to help when the time comes.

[Bitchin]

My parents have done it... but my grandparents havent..

when my Grandpa passed away my aunts and uncles where fighting over who gets what. what sucks is they took so of my parents stuff cause we took in my grandma and my granpa was in a home. It's amazing what vultures ppl can turn into. *sigh*
It tore my Grandma apart to see her kids doing this.. while my mom and I watched them go through our house... like wtf are you doin!? Granted it was a complicated situation....
I've spoken to my grandma about all this so it doesn't happen again, and being that she can barely speak english, she doesnt really know what to do. I even told her to write it all out for me and I'll take care of it being that I can speak english. needless to say she hasn't done it. but she fears what will happen to her stuff?!
But I know I opened her mind, she knows she'll never be here foreever and that she has to do it @ some point...

I jsut say.. offer to assist them.
I'm well aware its thier stuff can do what they want.. I'm not saying you make all the decision, jsut be moral support I guess you could say. Or better yet.. draw the papers up for them and it to them.
Just be there for them.. cause think about it... it must be pretty fucking hard to sit there and think "shit I'm old.. I'm gonna die soon, gotta figure out who gets what". No one wants to thik a thought like that.

I should really do this for my grandma... but she's to busy traveling atm :\