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| Punching Bag Bitch, cry and whine your way into oblivion. |
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Apr 27, 06
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Ever been to a wedding?...
... for someone you're not even sure you like anymore?.. and their partner, who you're pretty sure you despise?
Sigh.. at least it's an excuse to dress up and look good. Feel free to share stories.. maybe by this time tomorrow I'll have a few of my own. 
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Apr 27, 06
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but i am going to jamaica for a week this year, so that'll dull the pain. have fun you lucky bastardo.
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Apr 27, 06
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1. Drink as much as physically possible without vomitting. 2. Try to get the bride/groom's parents to hit the beer bong. 3. At one point in the night, take off your pants and see how long it takes for someone to notice. 4. If cigars are offered, eat one. 5. The classic: Take the tray of food from the server and tell him you'd like seconds, slipping him a toonie. 6. Assume it's open mic, and get up and sing a song to the happy, soon-to-be-doomed couple. I recommend "Under Pressure" or "I Left My Heart in San Francisco." This is, of course, assuming you have a terrible voice like me. 7. At various points in the night, grab a can of beer (tall-boys work best but any except Heineken will do) and smash the side of it against your forehead until it breaks open. It usually takes about two or three good whacks. Then shotgun what doesn't spray all over the dancefloor. I really hope this kind of shit goes down at my wedding.
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Apr 27, 06
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my cousin and i grew up like sisters - barely a year between us in age, her marriage rolled around, i wasnt in the wedding party, no big deal until she told us why, that i didnt posses the values and morales she wanted in her wedding party.
and then the bitch didnt even have alcohol at the event. my dad and i almost made it out to a wedding that was across the hall (this was taking place in a building at caribou college in kamloops) that had kegs, but my mom caught us and we got in trouble. the last wedding i went to was amazing - portugeues wedding. food everywhere, booze everywhere, dancing it was awesome.
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Apr 27, 06
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if the people getting married are catholic.i feel sorry for you.now if theyre catholic AND italian...i feel even worse.
brace yourself for a long drawn out stupid gay ceremony that lasts 37469235154y234hrs. stupid catholics.
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Apr 28, 06
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i have a new to do list. much appreciated haha
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Apr 28, 06
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They arent all that long if they are catholic. Its the ones who choose to have a whole maa with it aswell. Thats optional though.
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Apr 28, 06
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Apr 28, 06
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Dave, I have been in this exact situation.
My solution was.... I drank a copious amount of Gin, as you know, Gin turns me into a monster. I yelled at everyone. Hit on the groom (I was very bitter towards the bride). I cried unexpectedly at different times. And eventually got carried out. It was great.
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Apr 28, 06
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Im not having an open bar. When paying for most of the wedding i dont see that as a good expense. Especially because people tend to drink more then aswell. Although we are getting Lots of bottles or wine and spiked punch, but the bar is all self paid. Crazy expensive.
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Apr 28, 06
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hahaha tiedye, I love this one: 3. At one point in the night, take off your pants and see how long it takes for someone to notice.
GOLD!
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Apr 28, 06
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True story - but expensive yes! So I can see why some ppl wouldn't have it.
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Apr 28, 06
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I wanted an open bar but when you have to pay for most of it yourself and you add up all the expenses you realise its then impossible. Alot more weddings these days dont have it because more and mmore people are paying for weddings themselves, its not mommy and daddy anymore.
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Apr 28, 06
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yes it was. also considering i had lived a more morally right lifestyle then her. however, i am not a jehova witness and this played big time with my apparent non-values.
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Apr 28, 06
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im a wop...so yeah the receptions are great,but the ceremony is fucking laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.They take like 2+hours,and its always up and down up and down up and down father,son,holy spirit,up down up down,latin latin latin,up down up down. sheeeeeeeeeeit.think youre at a fucking step class.
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