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May 01, 07
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All marriages are in essence arranged
I really miss the days when if a single man visited the home of an established family, the father would either set the man up with one of his daughters if he had any, or arranged a marriage with the daughter from a respectable family, best on the character of the man and evidence of his ability to be a gentleman.
I see so much evidence that love marriages and divorce are reflected in our growing gambling addiction. "Chemistry" happens by chance alone. Everyone pretends that it's all done by feelings alone, and reason and logic is overlooked to determine the best mate. In short, the women are arranging their marriages to suitable men, usually at a later age. They no longer need their parents to do it for them. perhaps teenaged pregnancy in broken homes might be a backlash to love marriages and the ease of obtaining a divorce. Yet the challenge of learning to love a stranger may be no different, be it before marriage or after. 
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May 01, 07
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methinks radha is a troll. or at least I hope someone isn't actually that stupid.
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May 01, 07
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...is this guy serious?
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May 01, 07
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Im going to have to go with - you are a creepy middle aged man who should not post on a youth message board.
Thank you and goodbye.
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May 01, 07
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radha obviously suffers from severe mental illness.
his threads/posts show symptoms of delusions, paranoia and/or brain injury. dr.duerr has other patients to see... ciao
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May 01, 07
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Looks like I hit a nerve.
From what I can tell, single motherhood is on the rise. Out of 100 passengers on the bus, at least three women have kids with them, 4 of them are talking to their kids on the cell, and 2 men are talking up a single girl at the back of the bus. In Newton, I even know of this lady who's 21, has an 8 yr old, a 5 yr old and a 6-month old; and her ex-boyfriend won't drive her to her dad's place. In anothere case, I know of a 23 yr-old woman with a 9 yr-old and a 5 yr-old. Looks like Surrey is a suburb of East Vancouver. Last edited by radha; May 01, 07 at 04:46 PM.
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May 01, 07
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Also, why assume that these girls with children, who you see on the bus are in fact single mothers as you claim they are? That is really jumping to conclusions.
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May 01, 07
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I think we should ask married women about their motivations for getting married, including getting pregnant.
Marriage is not unintended. It's never an accident. Whether a woman arranges to find Mr. Right or someone else does it, it is essentially arranged. Nor is love by chance; chemistry has a rational motive driving it: the pursuit of happiness. It however is romantic to attribute love marriages to chance, but usually both sides are obvious in their haphazardly planned intentions. One of my friends never married her boyfriend because he wasn't independent of his domineering mother. Recently, he married his girlfriend of several years, and I think they're still in Cancun. My guess is, his mother paid for the wedding and the honeymoon. I guess, the new wife was willing to put up with the domineering. This friend is the same one with the 10-yr old daughter whose story creeped out people here. My prediction is said daughter in 10 years will meet someone, and hopefully marry the slightly older man. My prediction is he'll be 32 and have a stable family background and a good career. Another of my MSN chat friends has an 11-yr old son, and a 2-year old daughter and 6 month old daughter. Her son is by an earlier drug addict of a boyfriend who once beat her, leaving her with eye damage - she can't see out of one eye - and the son with ADD and emotional challenges. The two year old suffered night terrors -- this girl used to get up and talk to her imaginary friend in the little rocker in the corner of her room. If you picked her up and brought her to consciousness, then she'd freak out. I think in ancient times, she'd be exorcised of a demon, cos night terrors can look like possession to ignorant Christians. This lady has told me so many freaky stories about herself I tend to believe them all. The good news is she quit snorting crank (meth), got her GED and is in an LPN program after finding the RN program too stressful. She never married her current on-again, on-again BF because he was mean to her son. That guy projects his family issues in that he doesn't like her "spoiling" her son like her dad's GF did with her son. This guy's "step-brother" is supposedly one of many meth lab cookers in the Santa Cruz area. Just so no one thinks the part of California she lives in is a run-down area, the rent on her house is $1900 USD / month. Originally her father subsidized her, but she's now employed in the ADHD and autism field cos of her experience raising her son. Once she gets her license to be an LPN, there's a good chance she could dump the BF for a single intern, but considering that she had two kids by him, IF he gets therapy for the family issues, and some anger management skills, then they might eventually married. Maybe. My MSN friend up in Prince George has gotten out of a horror story relationship. Her ex is currently in jail. This guy is so creepy, he makes me look like a gentleman. He's murdered a male friend she confided in up there, has assaulted her countless time, etc. This is the only time I am praying hard the truth gets out in jail and he's "accidentally" died slipping on soap in the showers. My only native MSN friend has told me she's been in two relationships. I think the two younger kids' father is jokingly refered to as "the sperm donor." Currently upcountry in Gitskan First Nations, she's so bored of it she wants to come down to Vancouver in July. This is the lady who didn't know what I meant when asked if she has had any camping experience. Where did I meet her originally? I think it was on AFF. While none of these women are currently married, and are probably jaded about marriage, I do not feel that it is by chance they decided not to get marriage. Given that having sex was originally intended to have children, I would claim too that none of the children any of these women have had are "accidents", even despite my friend with the 10 yr old daughter being an "accident" when the Pill didn't work. And just as having kids isn't really an accident, getting married isn't by chance after falling in love by chance. The instinct to propagate is not chance. It's actually the subconscious motive behind my contention that "all marriages are in essence arranged". So, yes, even love is determined by this instinct. Therefore so is marriage.
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May 01, 07
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Of all the female friends with kids I know, their kids have their last name. Though I am uncertain about the Santa Cruz lady's kids.
I think only my friend with the 11-yr old daughter is getting regular support payments. Overall, they all state their children has been a positive influence on their lives. Even so, I was surfing online and saw this: Scott Dyleski - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia Dyleski's family life near Lafayette California is pretty interesting because for part of his childhood, he lived with his mom either in a tiny house or outdoors. His mom, Esther Fielding, is an interesting lady because despite her matronly look, she appears to be one of those new-age quacks. I see a vague similarity to how Courtney Love described her childhood, "living out of a box." This is not to suggest that all children in single-parent families become killers. Dyleski was in the process of starting up a marijuana grow-op by fraudulently using stolen credit cards to buy equipment etc. However, statistic do indicate that children of single-parent family have a higher risk of getting in trouble with the law, even becoming mass-murderers (e.g. Charles Manson, though his mom was a prostitute). *Oh, and this thread is related to the Kelly Ellard thread indirectly, since at least one of the girls involvedin Virk's death has a kid and also is suffering a psychiatric disorder related to her family life. I also know of a woman who was forced into the world of heroin by her boyfriend. Her BF's mother makes a habit of manipulating the woman's two girls into fighting with each other, thus learning to become violent. The BF's family is a methadone family, and one of their pastimes is narcing on harmless pot-smoking families to the police out in Mission.
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May 02, 07
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Just a quick note. Your friends do not equal society as a whole. You can't chart trends based on that.
That's like me saying 95% of people are borderline alchoalics because me and my friends live depressing lives that need to be supported by booze.
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May 02, 07
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May 03, 07
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i wanna be arranged with allyssa millano
=)
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May 03, 07
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May 03, 07
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cableguy still thinks clubvibes is cool!!!!!!!!!
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May 03, 07
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Nov 25, 07
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