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  #1 (permalink)  
Old Jun 06, 07
Red Army Productions!
 
Join Date: May 2004
Euro Dollar is on a distinguished road
Best Chuck Norris joke.

Each one of Chuck Norris' testicles are larger than the other!


post yours:
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  #2 (permalink)  
Old Jun 06, 07
WCG
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Goodfellow will become famous soon enoughGoodfellow will become famous soon enough
the chuck norris thing died a while ago mang, don't resurrect it !
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  #3 (permalink)  
Old Jun 06, 07
Red Army Productions!
 
Join Date: May 2004
Euro Dollar is on a distinguished road
chuck norris thing only might have died on fnk...

and those jokes are timeless classics they'll be alive long after you're dead and consumed by maggots and all sorts of sick shit like that.

next...
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  #4 (permalink)  
Old Jun 06, 07
Drum'n Bass 4 life
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
White><Light is on a distinguished road
what do you get when you try and shave Chuck Norris' beard?

a face full of fist!

it's so lame that it's the only chuck norris joke that ever made me laugh

i think it's because i was actually picturing it :weird:
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  #5 (permalink)  
Old Jun 06, 07
dirty electro!
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
dave mcnasty will become famous soon enough
When Chuck Norris wakes up in the morning, he flosses his teeth with steel wool. Then he eats a bowl of dynamite for breakfast, takes a massive two-flush megashit, and wipes his ass with intercepted letters to Santa.
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  #6 (permalink)  
Old Jun 06, 07
Red Army Productions!
 
Join Date: May 2004
Euro Dollar is on a distinguished road
Chuck norris can watch 60 mins in 20

Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany.

#
# Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover.

Chuck Norris is the only person to ever win a staring contest against Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder at the same time.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

the fastest way to a mans heart is with chuck norris' fist.
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  #7 (permalink)  
Old Jun 06, 07
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
project.one has a spectacular aura aboutproject.one has a spectacular aura aboutproject.one has a spectacular aura about
Chuck Norris wasn't born,

Chuck Norris just was.
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  #8 (permalink)  
Old Jun 06, 07
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Join Date: Jan 2006
project.one has a spectacular aura aboutproject.one has a spectacular aura aboutproject.one has a spectacular aura about
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
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  #9 (permalink)  
Old Jun 06, 07
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Join Date: Jan 2006
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When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.
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  #10 (permalink)  
Old Jun 06, 07
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Join Date: Jan 2002
Kraig is a jewel in the roughKraig is a jewel in the roughKraig is a jewel in the roughKraig is a jewel in the roughKraig is a jewel in the rough
Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
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  #11 (permalink)  
Old Jun 06, 07
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Join Date: Jan 2006
project.one has a spectacular aura aboutproject.one has a spectacular aura aboutproject.one has a spectacular aura about
Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
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  #12 (permalink)  
Old Jun 06, 07
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Join Date: Jan 2006
project.one has a spectacular aura aboutproject.one has a spectacular aura aboutproject.one has a spectacular aura about
Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
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  #13 (permalink)  
Old Jun 06, 07
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Join Date: Nov 2002
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Chuck Norris's house contains neither stove nor microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold.
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  #14 (permalink)  
Old Jun 06, 07
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Join Date: Aug 2004
FireWire will become famous soon enough
Quote:
Originally Posted by project.one View Post
Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
LMFAO
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  #15 (permalink)  
Old Jun 06, 07
Red Army Productions!
 
Join Date: May 2004
Euro Dollar is on a distinguished road
Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
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  #16 (permalink)  
Old Jun 06, 07
Red Army Productions!
 
Join Date: May 2004
Euro Dollar is on a distinguished road
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
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  #17 (permalink)  
Old Jun 06, 07
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Kraig is a jewel in the roughKraig is a jewel in the roughKraig is a jewel in the roughKraig is a jewel in the roughKraig is a jewel in the rough
Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
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  #18 (permalink)  
Old Jun 06, 07
Red Army Productions!
 
Join Date: May 2004
Euro Dollar is on a distinguished road
chuck norris doesn't sleep. he waits.
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  #19 (permalink)  
Old Jun 06, 07
Red Army Productions!
 
Join Date: May 2004
Euro Dollar is on a distinguished road
my personal favourite:

chuck norris doesn't need a silencer, he TELLS his gun to be quiet.
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  #20 (permalink)  
Old Jun 06, 07
Red Army Productions!
 
Join Date: May 2004
Euro Dollar is on a distinguished road
children wear superman underwear. superman wears chuck norris underwear

doesn't look at his watch, he decides what time it is


LOL: Chuck norris can slam a revolving door!
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  #21 (permalink)  
Old Jun 06, 07
Red Army Productions!
 
Join Date: May 2004
Euro Dollar is on a distinguished road
Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.

When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000.

Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

crap i got a little carried away...
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  #22 (permalink)  
Old Jun 06, 07
Sender of Arrows
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
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My 2 favorites:

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.


Jesus may be able to walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through land.
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  #23 (permalink)  
Old Jun 06, 07
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
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Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Chuck Norris.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.

On the 7th day, God rested.... Chuck Norris took over.

Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris.

God offered Chuck Norris the gift to fly, which he swiftly declined for super strength roundhouse ability.

Chuck Norris cuts dimonds with his teeth.

Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.

Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never.

Chuck Norris once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

Chuck Norris invented water!

Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker's real father.

In the original pilot for Star Trek Next Generation, Chuck Norris can be seen powering the USS Enterprise warp drive with his roundhouse kicks.
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  #24 (permalink)  
Old Jun 06, 07
dirty electro!
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
dave mcnasty will become famous soon enough
Quote:
Originally Posted by Euro Dollar View Post
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
LOL


Chuck Norris eats rocks and shits lightning bolts
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  #25 (permalink)  
Old Jun 07, 07
Drum'n Bass 4 life
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
White><Light is on a distinguished road
lol... nice.. lots of chuck norris jokes i've heard before and a lot i've never heard before.. keep em coming

here's a few

when chuck norris jumps in a lake he doesn't get wet.. the water gets chuck norris'd

why is it that you can never see chuck norris in the dark?
because the dark is affraid of chuck norris!

there are no disabled people.. only people who've met chuck norris
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