Moron FUCKING Americans, & canadians who hate americans...

[dapimpstress]

FUK the FUKING border people. And FUCK getting in a car with kids you don't know. WHAT THE FUCK.

Alright so everything is goin great right? im all MAD excited, cuz ima meet abuncha kidz i haven't got to yet, and stoked cause we're like 20 min from the border...
Then this chick who's in the car with me, has to pee, so we stop at the LAST FUCKING REST STOP before the border. We're chillin, i smoke a cig, then we all get back in the cars, [PS- there is 2 cars, one (im in) with 5 ppl in it, and one with 3 ppl in it.]
so outta the fuckin KINDNESS of my heart, I'm like, hey i've had shotgun all this way, so i'll move to the other car, so you people dont have to be squished in the back right?

it didnt even OCCUR to be that there would be ANY POSSIBILITY of NOT making it over the border....then, as soon as i got into the car, i realized i was surrounded by mother fucking idiot hicks.

So i ask them, what are you going to say to the border people? I think we should tell them we are going to my friends house, they really live there, so its all legit, then we dont have to worry....

they say, no dude, we have to tell them the truth. we have no reason to hide anything, and we aren't going to....

we argue back and forth the whole way there and this guy (brandon) is getting mad pissed at me, but im still like NO DUDE, ARE U A FUCKING DUMBASS?? we need to NOT tell them we have records...

so they tell them, and as SOON as the border people hear "records" of course, they are skeptical, then, they ask, are u getting paid for this "gig" and these fucking pea-brained kids say, uh, i dunno, our friend who went in front of us, whose already over the border, hooked us up with the gig, he MIGHT be getting paid....

the lady at the border closes her little window, and starts writing abuncha shit down... FINALLY opens the window again, and hands us this paper, OK, she says, go to customs and give them this, and your IDs.

we drive the whole 100 FEET that it is till the customs area, and get outta the car, and THESE MORONS, THESE FUCKING ROCK-STUPID KIDZ, LOST THE PAPER SHE GAVE US.

so we go inside, and the next lady's like, you LOST it? HOW? so the driver goes back to the car to look and we're standing there answering all these questions, im the MOST LEGIT one in the WHOLE CREW and these people have OBVIOUSLY NEVER delt with ANY authority figures what so ever.

I go outside cuz the lady is tired of waiting for this loser to find the fuckin paper, and by the time im back at the car, he's found it and we go back inside...

the lady tells us all to sit down, and she's talking to the driver.. after about 5 minutes he comes back and tells us we're fucked we can't get in, we have to drive around the back of the building and get our id's from her from the other side and go the fuck home...

what the fuck.. i fucking told them , I FUCKING TOLD THEM OUTRIGHT, that if they told the truth we would be fucked, but did they listen to me? the one whose been to canada like 15 times in the last 6 months?! no. str8 no.

so im calling my man, and some-a my friends, telling them what happened, and that i have to go home... all together like 4 phone calls, having to say the same thing, and the guy i talked bout earlier, who was arguing with me, brandon, gets HELLA pissed..

I hang up my phone, for the 4th time, and he starts FUCKING YELLING AT ME!? what the fuck right? he's all ,"im fucking sick and tired of hearing about this, there's nothign we can do, blah blah blah, we arent' going blah blah blah, mother fucking, shut up blah blah," so i jus start yelling at him back...

im liek SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU FUCKING MORON ITS YOUR FUCKING FAULT WE ARE GOING HOME ANYWAY. I FUCKING TOLD YOU SO, I TOLD you SO. YOU ARE THE ONE WHO WAS FUCKING ARGUING WITH ME SO SHUT THE FUCK UP AND REALIZE YOU WERE WRONG, ASSHOLE.

and dude, he just KEPT yelling obsceneities at me.. so im like FUCK THIS. throw on some drum n bass and bumped it till i couldn't hear that motherfucker anymore....

the driver gave me a darviset ( its like perkiset, only more concentrated ) and i hadn't eaten all day, so i got LOOPED. all the way home, looped, got home and it was all snowy, kinda calming...

i was pissed, but my man had rolled me a phattie, and i smoked it right in front of those bitches, all to myself, blowing the smoke towards them just to make them want it more... haha. ahem... but i didn't give them any. and then i let them leave in the snow. muther fucking idiot americans....

i will never, and i mean NEVER, go anywhere with people i dont know, especially - to canada. fuk those kids. i hope to never see them again, unfortunately, that brandon kid parties.. but if he fuckin tries to talk to me again, ima fuckin strangle him. gerr.

ps- it was a bad trip. i wanna come so bad. and im gonna asap.

pps- so the reason they wouldn't let us over, the lady at the border said, was because, apparently, musicians cannot perform without a work permit whether or not they are going to be paid for that performance.

^WHAT THE FUCK. is this actually true? does n e one know??

[Gusto]

Originally Posted by Ashes

pps- so the reason they wouldn't let us over, the lady at the border said, was because, apparently, musicians cannot perform without a work permit whether or not they are going to be paid for that performance.

i've heard this before. most people will pretend they aren't getting paid or hide their records or something. anyway, too bad you didn't make it, maybe next week.

[dapimpstress]

yes you are totally correct my friend, MOST PEOPLE, people with a LITTLE bit of sense, would NOT say they are getting paid, or would HIDE their records, and tell them they were doing something else, to just, u kno, AVOID any question... like we do EVERYTIME we go up. it aint no thang. these kids were jus morons.

[Veni*C]

sounds like good times...
*sarcasm*

ya unless u have a work visa.... and u dont come up with a good story why u have records. ur fucked... so many people have been told to go home cause of this... i belive this even happened to czech one time at the border!

[wum]

shitty. people not owning up to their bullshit is the worst.

[dapimpstress]

Originally Posted by wum

shitty. people not owning up to their bullshit is the worst.

totally man, and im not a violent person whatsoever... it was so weird.. like i couldn't help but wanna clock that mutherfucker in tha face...

[miss.myra]

Originally Posted by wum

shitty. people not owning up to their bullshit is the worst.

Ain't it the FUCKING worst?

(someone ring the bell, I agreed with wum!)

[-ff-]

^

Its okay because the statement is ironic, comming as it does from Wum.

[dapimpstress]

hmmm.....^

[mux]

Originally Posted by Ashes

pps- so the reason they wouldn't let us over, the lady at the border said, was because, apparently, musicians cannot perform without a work permit whether or not they are going to be paid for that performance.

Getting into the states is actually harder - the work permit you need costs $100 USD, and must be requested in writing at least four months, but no more than six months, in advance. You have to submit three copies of reviews of your performance act in local or national publications, and include a one-page description of your act stating how it is original and different from other performers. Your submission has to be on 8.5x11" paper, but printed in landscape, not portrait (ie, sideways for what you think it should be), hole-punched twice, and printed only on one side of the page. Furthermore, you can't file it, the promoter who is booking you has to do it.

If you don't follow ALL of those directions EXACTLY, they don't look at your application. According to the customs website, over 90% of all musician's work visa applications are turned away because they don't follow the directions (ie, they printed the material regular-style instead of landscape).

If you want "premium" service (ie, have them look at your application sooner than three months from now), you can pay for that - it's $1000 USD, and should get your application looked at within two weeks.

The only way around this legislation is if you are a "nationally recognized artist" (ie, the border guys already know who you are, like Alanis Morisette or something).

It's fucking insane. It sounds like a bad joke, but that's the way it actually works. Apparently, someone has to really want you there, and if you're getting paid, you're taking food out of the mouths of hardworking US musicians or something.

My girlfriend once was going with a film crew to San Francisco to attend the SIGGRAPH conference and interview a bunch of famous graphics programmers and stuff... at 5:30 in the morning, customs turned her away, because the US did not recognize the website she was working on as "press" (even tho SIGGRAPH did, and they had press passes to the conference). Turns out, if you're not press, you MUST hire a US cameraperson - since my gf was going to be running the camera, she was denied entrance to the states, and had to give up her awesome working vacation to one of the coolest conferences on the planet...

Last time I played in the states, I told customs that I was going to a friend's house to make music with him. The guy asked me what kind of music I made...

Him: "what kind of music do you make?"

Me: "do you know anything about electronic music?"

Him: "lots."

Me: "we make ambient noise-scapes..."

Him: "do you make any money at it?"

My GF: "maybe if they were better at it!"

Him: "move along."

[Goodfellow]

"do you have any illegal arms or anything today sir?"

"yes."

" I MEAN, no! .. yeah"

"pull to the side sir.."

"DAMMIT ! I ALWAYS get that one wrong!"

[dapimpstress]

seriously, it's this simple... every other time, we said this... and got in no probs.

BRDR: "why are you going to canada"

US: "to kick it with my friend in downtown vancouver"

BRDR:"whats ur friends name?"

US: "<insert random name here>"

BRDR: "where do they live"

US: "Downtown"

BRDR: "do you have any illegal substances, alcohol, or tobacco?"

US: "no"

BRDR: "thanks"

[automatic]

Originally Posted by Ashes

pps- so the reason they wouldn't let us over, the lady at the border said, was because, apparently, musicians cannot perform without a work permit whether or not they are going to be paid for that performance.

^WHAT THE FUCK. is this actually true? does n e one know??

you need a work permit if you're getting paid. you also need one even if you're not getting paid but you're playing at any kind of event that is collecting money in any shape or form, whether it's cover charges or a bar. it's the same for canadian djs going in to the states by the way, but there are ways around it. the best thing to do is just say you're going up to visit friends, and if they find your records tell them they have a radio show on the internet, and you were going to play some records for them, or tell them it's your friends birthday and you brought some records to spin at his house, you might make it through at this point, you might not, it's all up to them, and they've definitley gotten wise to djs in the last couple of years. as soon as you mention "rave" party" or "club" you're done unless you have a permit. other than that, if you want some good border hints...

-dress conservatively, no rave gear, wear shirts with collars, no baseball caps etc...
-be polite and smile
-don't blast the hardcore hip-hop or trancey trance when you pull up to the window, keep it mellow
-have an name, address, and phone # of a friend you can say you're staying with, or a hotel you have a reservation at.
-use common sense.

[dapimpstress]

Originally Posted by automatic

as soon as you mention "rave" party" or "club" you're done unless you have a permit. other than that, if you want some good border hints...

-dress conservatively, no rave gear, wear shirts with collars, no baseball caps etc...
-be polite and smile
-don't blast the hardcore hip-hop or trancey trance when you pull up to the window, keep it mellow
-have an name, address, and phone # of a friend you can say you're staying with, or a hotel you have a reservation at.
-use common sense.

all of these things i tried to explain to these stupid fuckers, but they would not listen to me... and yeah i know that its jus as hard gettin into the states, but it works the same way, mad people still come down to play records regaurdless of the fact that im sure NONE of them, cept the real big names, pay for work permits.
the stupid thing was, it wasn't even a bar, it was tribeca, a restaurant right?
and not only were they not getting paid, but there was no cover charge either...

[Wood]

i've never had a problem bringing recs accross the border, but of course lying is mandatory. I usually say i'm on my way to a friend's birthday party, and have a real name & addrss to give them. can't imagine it would be so much more difficult coming the other way...

[Akeel]

also you do not need a work permit if you are playing a rave "all ages party"
but it helps if you show a contract.

[evr]

that reminds me of an experience i had coming BACK to vancouver from a seattle party a few years ago...

was with a couple friends, i'm white, one asian girl and brown guy, i'm driving a rental, and the woman at customs asks me "what's your relation to these people?" (it's like 6 am after a LONG night of partying)

so i look at them and look at her and say, "Do i LOOK like i'm related to them?"

and she's like "well you must know them somehow?"

and i say, "yah, they're my friends"
so she says, "well that's your relation"

and i'm like "i wanna go home."

[hardstylin]

holy fuck ash that sucks, i fucking hate retarded people who think they know whats best but just end up fucking everything up. You have to lay down the law way ahead of time get ur stories on lockdown or those cunts at the border will getya.

[Goodfellow]

Originally Posted by Ashes

all of these things i tried to explain to these stupid fuckers, but they would not listen to me... and yeah i know that its jus as hard gettin into the states, but it works the same way, mad people still come down to play records regaurdless of the fact that im sure NONE of them, cept the real big names, pay for work permits.
the stupid thing was, it wasn't even a bar, it was tribeca, a restaurant right?
and not only were they not getting paid, but there was no cover charge either...

man the guy must have been a brick wall, i'm surprised you didn't knock him out.

even if you lie and then they search you, "i'm playing records at my friends house"

[dapimpstress]

yeah... werd to that. it's so fucking lame that they make such a HUGE deal about records anyway.. they are also worried about you bringing up mad records and then selling them or something... its like DUDE, we just wanna LAY DOWN SOME BEATS, and kick it... not like we're tryina TRAFFIK mad money or something shieet.

how much harm could 70 records really cause?

[crookedking]

i read the title to this thread and thought to myself, "whoa! wrong section!"

[automatic]

they just want the $$$ i pretty much always get work permits for any dj i bring to my club unless it's just guys from WA or OR driving up.....$150 plus $10 to the Vancovuer Musicians Union, at it takes anywhere from 24 hours to a month.

[dapimpstress]

Originally Posted by crookedking

i read the title to this thread and thought to myself, "whoa! wrong section!"

yeah well it has to do with alotta diff shit, i.e. the border, stupid people, records, i dunno.

[crookedking]

Originally Posted by miss.myra

Ain't it the FUCKING worst?

(someone ring the bell, I agreed with wum!)

now, nev, if you'll notice she said the word "fucking" there. she was really expressing herself, showing fnk that she felt strongly about this subject. also if you would once again look at the word "fucking" note that it's all capitalized, this shows that she is REALLY passionate about this.

[dapimpstress]

Originally Posted by automatic

they just want the $$$ i pretty much always get work permits for any dj i bring to my club unless it's just guys from WA or OR driving up.....$150 plus $10 to the Vancovuer Musicians Union, at it takes anywhere from 24 hours to a month.

we're all from SEA so yeah, really it wasn't that we couldn't have gotten across, its just that these kids, COULdn't believe that anything but the absolute truth should be told.