How many 5 year-olds could you take on at once?

[sNyx]

The question:

How many 5 year-olds could you take on at once?

The specifics:

• You are in an enclosed area, roughly the size of a basketball court. There are no foreign objects.
• You are not allowed to touch a wall.
• When you are knocked unconscious, you lose. When they are all knocked unconscious, they lose. Once a kid is knocked unconscious, that kid is "out."
• I (or someone else intent on seeing to it you fail) get to choose the kids from a pool that is twice the size of your magic number. The pool will be 50/50 in terms of gender and will have no discernable abnormalities in terms of demographics, other than they are all healthy Canadians
• The kids receive one day of training from hand-to-hand combat experts who will train them specifically to team up to take down one adult. You will receive one hour of "counter-tactics" training.
• There is no protective padding for any combatant other than the standard-issue cup.
• The kids are motivated enough to not get scared, regardless of the bloodshed. Even the very last one will give it his/her best to take you down.

I set my magic number at 30, but upon reflection, I think I could take on a few more. How many could you take on?

[stephen_c]

ok, i'll play fair.
2 kids max.
cuz how can one bring him/her self to hit a kid.

[veN]

I battle 6 y/o's on a regular basis... I think I'd have an advantage. I see Myles' 30 and raise him another 15. Bring it on.

[mapleleaf4ever]

Sheeit... 30 of them? I'd certainly pay to watch this. What if they all rush and dogpile you?

[decypher]

i think i could take probably like 50.. i mean even if they all rushed u, u just go swinging into the crowd and knockin them left right and center. 5 yr olds are so short. it be like one boot drop, one boot drop.

[veN]

^ Haha Erik, I'd take a dogpile over "Miss Jones! Miss Jones!" any day.

[mapleleaf4ever]

Originally Posted by decypher

i think i could take probably like 50.. i mean even if they all rushed u, u just go swinging into the crowd and knockin them left right and center. 5 yr olds are so short. it be like one boot drop, one boot drop.

I dunno man... you seen Resident Evil? When the Zombies pile on top of you it's Game over. Or it'd be walking around covered in Children... I think it'd be quite amusing.

[sNyx]

Originally Posted by decypher

i think i could take probably like 50.. i mean even if they all rushed u, u just go swinging into the crowd and knockin them left right and center. 5 yr olds are so short. it be like one boot drop, one boot drop.

dude these kids are TRAINED!
think about it ;)

[soma]

As the oldest sibbling I have great experience abusing children....

I'll take the 35 kid challange

[decypher]

Originally Posted by sNyx™

dude these kids are TRAINED!
think about it ;)

yeh but how many 5 yr olds do u know would take that training seriously? they'd probably come out on the court either forgetting about what they just learned, wondering where the nearest mcdonalds is, or brandishing karate kid moves.

[veN]

^ The children would take each other out practising their chops and kicks before they even got to you. Seriously. The attention span of a 5 y/o is really really short. They'd forget why they were there.

[automatic]

ask michael jackson, he could tell you...

[soma]

I'll need 35 foam pads

they will eventually ware out and will need a nap

[Hot Karl]

it's only 1 day of training, even if these kids were paying attention.

honestly, how hard would it for you to just start kick/stomping your way to freedom?

however if you were kicking and these kids were smart enough to just dive at your other foot once you go down, with training these kids should be straight up jumping on your head and shit. i think the issue here would be more balance than any training or striking ability. i mean who can't knock out a 5 year old?

definetely a hilarious premise though.

[veN]

Originally Posted by Hot Karl

it's only 1 day of training, even if these kids were paying attention.

honestly, how hard would it for you to just start kick/stomping your way to freedom?

however if you were kicking and these kids were smart enough to just dive at your other foot once you go down, with training these kids should be straight up jumping on your head and shit. i think the issue here would be more balance than any training or striking ability. i mean who can't knock out a 5 year old?

definetely a hilarious premise though.

^ Agreed. I'm giggling just thinking about it. The visual is great.

[rawb]

acording to the us cdc, the average weights for a girl/boy at age 5 is 40->60 pounds, so lets say 50 pounds a kid.

also, kids are twitchy and fast, and the rules say they are motivated and trained

no doubt they will try to swarm you from all sides, and while you can probably take out 4 or 5 kids, after that they will eventually find a way to trip you and use their combained weight to pin you while they scratch out your soft organs. i think everyone is grossly overestimating their ability. 10 kids on top of you = 500 pounds.

so by my calculations i say i can handle about 250 pounds of biting, scratching kids with the right leverage, possibly more if i can stay standing. i wouldn't want to take on more than 12-15 kids, maybe after a few weekends move my way up to 15-20. if you think about the psychology of young children most likely the faster, angry kids with shitty home lives will run faster and you can get them out of the way. this leaves you with the advantage of only having to deal with nerdlingers and slow girls, so im shooting slightly above what i think i could do with alpha-grade 5 year olds.

anyways, i say 15 tops first try and id be amazed to see anyone here take on more than 20 or 25.

[Kenny]

umm im pretty sure i could take alot. Think about it, you charge them and hurt a good number off the bat.. They will start crying and not want anymore.. Then once u get em all crying and in pain, you go in for the knock outs. Just run around the court using your boot. You gotta have some kinda strategy goin in there.

[mikey]

if myles thinks he could take out 30, fuck then i could do 60....

1 day of training vs. an extensive wrestling & kickboxing backround...

hmmmm.....

[rawb]

id say 10 kids running at you from all direction means youd get maybe 3 or 4 kicks off, all it takes is one bad kick or one 5 year old pushing your leg at the wrong time to get you down on the ground.

there is no way youd be kicking these kids as youd be totally off balance, also running takes a lot of energy and this is def an endurance activity. your goals are to stay upright and reduce the kids into manageable groups so you can deal with them.

i would say right off the bat charge the largest kid and take him out HARD to show you mean business. after the first 2 or 3 you would need to be staying low and punching through with your waist, moving in circles with crossover steps and keeping the kids in front of you as much as possible. if you have the time id recommend picking up the child and headbutting him, but the spent arm endurance may come back to haunt you.

[mikey]

back in gr 11 gym class me and my buddy would wrestle 8 of the small guys in our class (at the same time). They were all 120 - 150, and we beat them 2 outta three times...

[wum]

hmm.. this has the potential to be like Matrix Reloaded

i think i'm tall enough to sort of wade through the rugrats if I get tired, so let's say 50

[mapleleaf4ever]

^ I dunno, I agree with rawb's theories on this one. The Scenario says they're trained. A basic understanding of Self-Defense and multiply that by the number of Ankle-Biters and that's more than just an endurance activity. Kicking would not be advised. Once you're on the ground, you're fucked.

[mikey]

See ya gotta knock one out right off the bat, since they're only 50lb's ya grab 'em by the leg. Start swinging the lil fucker round and round and knock out the other kids with him.

[b0ld]

christ I'd destroy a whole shit load of them. Just pick them up like rag dolls and throw them at others. hrmmmm Only way to exactly know is to visit a school monday morning :sh4n3: . Getting a good flail as well should do the trick!.

[mikey]

Originally Posted by mapleleaf4ever

^ . Once you're on the ground, you're fucked.

thats where the wrestling comes in =0)