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| Coffee Lounge Talk amongst other community members. |
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May 12, 06
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Quote:
"He made light of my weight problem, and then suggested my motto should be 'semper fudge'. At that point he told me to 'relax'." *** Bart: "But this card says you work on collateral!" Hutz: Lemme see that... (Works on collateral. No money down) Hutz: They got the punctuation all wrong on this.. (changes it to) .. "Works on collateral? No, money down." 
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May 12, 06
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Its from an old episode when The Simpsons get a pool, but after the water turns green and shitty, someone reminds Homer to add chlorine in the pool.
Homer (rubs his chin and squints his eyes) : Chlorine Eh?.. then goes to the scene where all the kids are rubbing their eyes because theres too much of it in the pool. hahaha.
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May 12, 06
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"IN FUTURE"
-*bart*... mr. smithers i thought you where.... - *smithers* Gay....no i just have to take these shot every ten minutes....*stick* I LOVE BOOBYS
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May 13, 06
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haha, any simpsons quote worth remembering is good!
the only one that sticks out right now is... Homer talking to someone "It takes 2 to lie! 1 to lie and 2 to listen!" or something like that... lol, better in my head! I suck at remembering them off the top of my head, so many shows! Id need to see it again!
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May 13, 06
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"Milpool"
------ "THRILLHO" ------ Marge: Homey, you know, it's funny. Both my mother and your father seem pretty lonely. Homer: Hee hee hee! That is funny. ------ Marge: Say, I've got a neat idea! Why don't you go in and pick up my mother and we'll all go out to dinner? Abe: I'll be back in a jiffy! [comes back with a woman in a wheelchair] Marge: That's not my mother. Abe: I'll be back in a jiffy! Woman: Can I come too? [Homer rolls up Marge's power window] Woman: [disappointed] Oh... ------ Bart: [on phone] Uh, yes. My name is Homer Simpson, and I'd like to order an Itchy and Scratchy cel...my credit card? Uh, do you accept a Federal Breast Inspector's card? License to Ogle? Vysa?...Oh, yes, of course. That's what I meant, _Visa_. It's these new dentures. ------ Homer: If he marries your mother, Marge, we'll be brother and sister. And then our kids...they'll be horrible freaks with pink skin, no overbites, and five fingers on each hand! [Homer imagines the kids and they look like realistic humans] Aaah!
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May 13, 06
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That's it. I'm gonna march right up to Al and say (switches scences) "Steve, I mean Al, I think I deserve a raise."
------ Moe : Hey, Homer! Way to get Marge pregnant. Heh heh heh. Homer : This is getting very abstract, but thank you. I do enjoy working at the bowling alley. ~~~~~ Homer: Hey wait a minute...what are all these presents? it's looks like you're "showering" Marge with gifts...hmm...with little tiny baby-sized gifts. Well, I'll be in the tub. Maude: By the way, congratulations on the new job Homer. Homer: New Job? MARGE IS PREGNANT??? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! ------ Moe doing his Mcauley Culkin face ------ Homer deciding to go to clown college sees his coworkers rolling out fire as clowns acting "heehee, clowns are funny" later at the table making a mashed potato clown tent Homer: maaaarrgge... Marge: Yes homie? Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo Homer: That's it! This family has stood in my way long enough! I'm going to clown college! Last edited by scue; May 13, 06 at 01:37 PM.
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May 13, 06
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When Troy is taking Selma on a date:
Troy: [laughing] That's too funny! I can't remember when I've heard a funnier anecdote. [laughing] ..... All right, now you tell one. ------ Selma:Being a huge movie star must be good too. What are you working on now? Troy: I've been reading a lot of scripts lately....... You know, it's a lot cheaper than _going_ to the movies. Last edited by scue; May 17, 06 at 10:02 PM.
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May 17, 06
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scue, you stole mine.
"I was saying boo-urns" HAHAHA Never gets old. But, my MOST FAVOURITE is very appropriate since I am a vegetarian. Lisa: No, I can't! I can't eat any of them! Homer: Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Lisa, honey, are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon? Lisa: No. Homer: Ham? Lisa: No. Homer: Pork chops? Lisa: Dad! Those all come from the same animal! Homer: Yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal. HAHAHA
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May 18, 06
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^ Already quoted by Silverwinged in post #24.
That's right galaxie.. both your favorites are gone already. You're going to have to dig deep. (or go watch an ep with a notepad ready) Two that came to mind today, that are funny mainly because of who's saying them, and their voice.. so you have to do your best to imagine these characters: When Barts starts dancing in church, Sideshow Mel jumps up and points, proclaiming "He's kicking it old school!" And in another church related incident, the rest of the family is trying to win Lisa back to Christianity using Xmas as a bribe. As she considers tasting the candy cane being offered to her, Reverend Lovejoy is outside watching: "Lick it!.... Lick it!!!" LOL "Hi I'm Troy McClure. You might remember me from such films as 'Today we Kill, Tomorrow we Die!' and 'Gladys: The Groovy Mule!'" This one always slays me.. when Homer and Bart are trying to get on the Rocket Ship that's leaving the post apocalytpic planet, but it will only accept the world's best and brightest: Guard: And you are?.. Homer: Um.. I'm that piano guy, from the movie Shine! Guard: Yes, and your name?.. Homer: Uh... Shiney McShine? CAN'T STOP WON'T STOP Last edited by Grapes; May 19, 06 at 03:23 AM.
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May 18, 06
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Well tough noogies, it's my favourite! And basically how it went when I told my dad I was going to be a vegetarian. haha.
BUT FINE Another favourite: Homer: Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked! Marge: HOMER! Homer: I gotta go Moe my damn weiner kids are listening.
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May 18, 06
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Homer : Why Jeebus!!!!!! LOL
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May 18, 06
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Quote:
Another Homer quote. I have no idea which episode this one is from, but hot damn I love it. "Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand."
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May 22, 06
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homer: kids, you mother and i are having a fight right now, a big sweet, chewy, chrunchy, fudgy, chocolaty........... put it away boy!!!
........................................ ........................................ ....................... marge: homer you got to stop gaurding this suger pile you are being completely paranoid! homer: oh am i now? am i really? A HA!!!! *pulls englishman out of suger pile* englishman: hello. homer: alright buddy, where did you get the sugar for that tea?!?! englishman: i niped it, when you let your guard down for that split second. and i'll do it again. *sips tea* goodbye.
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May 22, 06
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homer: hello, my name is mr. burns. i believe you have a letter for me.
mailman: ok mr.burns, uhh what's your first name? homer:.....I don't know.
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May 22, 06
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smither: people like dogs mr. burns.
burns: nonsense! dogs are idoits! if i came up to you and started sniffing at your crotch and slobbering all over your face, what would you say? smithers: hmm, if you did it sir? ........................................ ........................................ .............. burns: i will give you the lashing of a lifetime! smithers! remove my belt! smithers: with pleasure, sir!
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May 22, 06
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From an interview with Douglas Coupland in the Straight last week:
"I got to meet Tim Long, who’s one of the executive producers on The Simpsons. Every question I’ve ever had on the show, Tim had the answer for it.…What’s the best joke that they never used on the Simpsons? It’s the Dr. Nick character. He’s reading a copy of Our Bodies, Ourselves and he goes, ‘Oh my God! There’s a baby coming out of that woman’s abortion hole!’"
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May 23, 06
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Bahaha abortion hole!
Here's some Dr Nick: "Hi everybody!" "Well if it isn't my old friend Mr McGreg. With a leg for an arm, and an arm for a leg!" "The leg bone's connected to the, knee bone. The knee bone's connected to the, red thing. The red thing's connected to my, wrist watch- ... uh oh" "This man's skeleton is trying to jump out of his body!"
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May 23, 06
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"Hi, I'm Troy McClure! You may remember me from such..."
...TV spinoffs as "Son of Sanford and Son" and "After Mannix!" ...self-help videos as "Smoke Yourself Thin" and "Get Confident, Stupid"! ...such nature films as 'Earwigs: Ewwww' and 'Man vs. Nature: The Road to Victory'." ...such films as "The Erotic Adventures of Hercules" and "Dial 'M' for Murderousness"! ...from such educational films as "Lead Paint: Delicious but Deadly" and "Here Comes the Metric System!"
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