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  #1 (permalink)  
Old Aug 06, 02
Funked up
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Starberry is an unknown quantity at this point
Finding happiness for myself...

So I've been having a pretty hectic and emotional/stressful past few months, and I've found myself crying myself to sleep most nights due to disappointments, brain overloads or just flat out exhaustion...
I have found that most of my life is run trying to figure out how I can please the people around me and worrying whether or not they're all happy...I constantly burden myself with other people's problems and accept them as my own, and with so many people around me, I don't remember my own problems until it's too late...
My thoughts are so rarely "Will I be happy if I do this?", rather, "Will he/she approve of this?" or "What can I do to make him/her happy?"...
So the other day, after another painful emotional purge, my mom posed a question to me...she asked, "When is the time to worry about making yourself happy?"..."When are you gonna worry about yourself?"

...and I had no answer...
I'm still searching...I don't think that it's in my nature to worry about myself because I've always thought that if I worry about other people's happiness and concentrate on bettering their lives, then they in turn should look after me....
But after looking at how things really work, I realize that that's not really the case...there's no one looking out for me most of the time...

I think I need some time alone....

-and the search continues-

*Jen*
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  #2 (permalink)  
Old Aug 06, 02
bob bob is offline
ﻆﺓﻁ ﭥﯕ №╔╤╕○ЯΞ ♪♫♪
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
bob is an unknown quantity at this point
do you find happiness in pleasing others?
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  #3 (permalink)  
Old Aug 06, 02
Funked up
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Starberry is an unknown quantity at this point
That's a really good question and the answer is that I really do....except that it seems that lately, no matter how hard I try, I just can't please them...so then I feel like a failure, a let-down....and I continue trying.....but nothing is ever good enough...

So then, if I'm not pleasing others, and I'm not pleasing myself...where does happiness really come into play? Is there a "happy" medium?

*Jen*
(maybe happiness will come after my exam today....if only for a brief moment)
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  #4 (permalink)  
Old Aug 06, 02
bob bob is offline
ﻆﺓﻁ ﭥﯕ №╔╤╕○ЯΞ ♪♫♪
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
bob is an unknown quantity at this point
i find my happy medium when i look back at the things i've done for ppl and when that moment reoccurs in my memory, crystal-clear. it gives me chills, and i'm glad i have a memory strong enough to make me feel accomplished in my life. there's always gonna be some down-time, that's when you need to look at yourself and do for you what you've done for others. and when ppl see how well you're doing, that's when they come to you. seeking your expertise...

nobody takes advice from someone who drags their head on the floor.
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  #5 (permalink)  
Old Aug 10, 02
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
(val)Liam is an unknown quantity at this point
the way I see it is that we are so caught up in the struggle for happiness we tend to loose sight of it... and we loose sight of it because the constant struggle and striving for happiness is the fuel for our discontentment... the idea that nothing is good enough or that everything can be better...

though I can only speak from my point of view, I think the only way we can truly be happy is to learn how to fully and unconditionally accept things the way they are, because when we truly accept things as they are unconditionally, we view the world as perfect and in order, just as it is... I think it's important to let go of the idea that nothing is good enough and that everything is unsatisfactory to our needs...

I hope I said this clearly enough... and I hope it helped too...

peace :)
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  #6 (permalink)  
Old Aug 10, 02
BiZaKeD 24/7
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Guice_39 is an unknown quantity at this point
If it feels right when you do this then do it, even if people don't return favors as long as you know what you are doing is good and helps other people then eventually you will be rewarded. Its people like you that help make things easier in life for others and it is greatly respected by many cause most people couldn't care about others, but watch it also cause some will take advantage of that.
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  #7 (permalink)  
Old Aug 10, 02
Funked up
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Starberry is an unknown quantity at this point
My eyes are too puffy and red from crying to read these posts...but I'm sure that they offer good input/opinions....

I will post again when I'm a little less sad

*Jen*
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  #8 (permalink)  
Old Aug 11, 02
BiZaKeD 24/7
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Guice_39 is an unknown quantity at this point
You shouldn't be sad, your a good person. If more people around tha world actually took tha time to help out and care for others it wouldn't be such a messed up place. But you also gotta look out for yourself and your needs also. Lifes a bit of a struggle but you learn some stuff when you grow older, everyone has differences, different views and opinions but in the end I figure what it all comes down to is peace, happiness, and harmony........so keep doin what your doin......it will come back to you, its all one big cycle.
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  #9 (permalink)  
Old Aug 11, 02
..........
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
~lazee_grrl~ is an unknown quantity at this point
with people depending on u for help..it's because they always have...and though u feel burdened by them..u don't wanna let them down either...but u gotta tell them...do u ever ask them to help u with your problems?!..cuz i'm sure they wouldn't mind returning the favour..

happiness...i think it's a thing that comes in small bunches...a little at a time..no one is ever completely happy with everything..there will always be the down times and a life of complete happiness would probably be overwhelming and maybe even boring..but there are moments in life where u are truely happy..and as long as those moments happen..i think life is pretty good..
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  #10 (permalink)  
Old Aug 13, 02
Funked up
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Starberry is an unknown quantity at this point
I want to FUCKING DIE.....goddamn....just when I think that nothing worse can possibly happen, something happens to prove me wrong....

Why? Why the fuck do I deserve this?

ARGH

Happiness is too far from my grasp

*Jen*
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  #11 (permalink)  
Old Aug 13, 02
did you know i miss you?
 
Join Date: May 2001
LoveKat is an unknown quantity at this point
i used to always put everyone else ahead of me

but over the last 6 months i have been thinking more about myself

and i am feeling much happier :)
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  #12 (permalink)  
Old Aug 13, 02
BiZaKeD 24/7
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Guice_39 is an unknown quantity at this point
Quote:
Originally posted by Starberry:
I want to FUCKING DIE.....goddamn....just when I think that nothing worse can possibly happen, something happens to prove me wrong....

Why? Why the fuck do I deserve this?

ARGH

Happiness is too far from my grasp

*Jen*
Patience......patience my friend.
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  #13 (permalink)  
Old Aug 13, 02
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
(val)Liam is an unknown quantity at this point
^^^^^ exactly... happiness can't last forever but neither can sadness...
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