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Oct 30, 02
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Depression
I dunno what the hell is up with it. Maybe it's just me coming to the realization that life ain't all fun n' games. Maybe it's a product of an absolutely horrible high school life. Maybe it's cuz of working my ass off all week and still being broke. I dunno. But I'm never truly happy. I'm always stressing over something, and time just seems to pass by and nothing ever changes. I want to go to school, but for what I don't fuckin know. I change my mind pretty much weekly concerning that. I dunno, i'm sure that i'm all over the map here. But I've been taking out all my aggression indirectly out on my mother and sister(by just being a lazy grumpy ass when i'm home). I know that is completely wrong, but It's almost as if i can't control it. As I finish a sentence In a conversation, I realize that it's the dumbest thing i could have possibly just said. But me being the stubborn idiot I am, i don't do anything to fix it. I dunno, not expecting anything positive to come from this post, just by me typing it out, maybe it will help me see how stupid I am. The last thing i wanna do is hurt my family cuz they've put up with my shit for far too long, and just because they will continue to put up with it, doesn't mean they should.
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Oct 30, 02
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chris, i would say you're suffering more of anxiety rather than depression, which still isnt cool and i know how bad it can get. you've definetly got alot of harsh things on your plate and what you really need to do is identify what your main problems are, then get them out of the way one by one. as for working hard all week but having no money left over, have you REALLY thought why you might not have anything left? are you spending it on things u might not really need in the first place? and as for your horrible high school life, was it really THAT bad that its gonna haunt you for the rest of your life when you've got plenty of good people who respect who you are and wont judge you because of who u were years ago? and as for deciding to goto school and not knowing what you want to do, its something EVERYONE has no clue about till later on. i know education costs money but then it takes a shitload of time to make a life determining decision like what you really wanna go into in school.
saying things you dont mean in conversation is definetly the most common symptom of anxiety in my opinion. worrying about what you said only leads to more worrying, which will drive you fuckin nuts. so just try to sit down with someone you really trust and are really close with, and just speak your heart out, in hope that you can really identify the main problem that is causing you to worry. think of everything but try your best to identify the MAIN problem. trust me its not very easy but once you realise what it is, everything will make alot more sense. =) i find most people go through anxiety/depression mainly because they are not organizing themselves and making strict priorities with their time. they start to panic because they have so many thing they have left behind, which limits progress on everything! you say it may be a terrible high school life... but havent you been out of high school for 3-4 years now? well i dont know the details so i wont go into that but i know exactly how you feel and how fuckin unpleasant anxiety is. try being sober for a lil bit, cutting out all substances, including alcohol, smokes, bud and even caffeine until you feel normal again. but make sure you find someone to really talk to about your problems cuz it really helps. good luck =)
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Oct 30, 02
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Chris, you know if you ever feel like it you can always talk to Karl and I about these fun feelings your having. Cause me and him are all over the place too. We have a pretty good idea how you're feeling.
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Oct 30, 02
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There is things that make u happy maybe u have just forgotten them. Dont dwell on the past it will only make u more upset. Maybe u need to talk 2 like a therapist or sumthing to deal with ur high school issues or sumthin? I dunno I hope u cheer up tho dude*hugz* o and maybe u should also talk 2 ur family doctor about the way u feeling maybe he will prescribe u some happy pills
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Oct 30, 02
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i've been dealing with depression for most of my life
and i've been taking st. john's wort for it but i have an appointment with an intake worker on friday so hopefully i'll be able to be reassessed and put on something stronger
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Oct 30, 02
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Chris, I think you need a big change. You've gotten yourself into a routine that you're not happy with and its reflecting on every aspect of your life.
You should take a vacation. go away somewhere for some 'chris' time. you'll come back refreshed and ready to figure out what it is that you want :)
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Oct 30, 02
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Chris, If you wanna get some where obviously your gonna have to change something.. and if your to lazy to do that.. nothings gonna happen.. get on your feet boy and do something!!! Find something productive to do.. sure if your working and not seeing any money.. thats suck.. but its work to get you outta the whole?
I can't really say to much, cause I dont know the situation.. then again.. even if I did.. I would be vague cause.. this is sorta public. but if ya ever need anything hun! you know the digits, call when eva.. !! SMILE! :D
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Nov 01, 02
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K-Pryde's got it nailed...you definitely show the classic signs of an Anxiety sufferer. You may be a little depressed as well, just because of the anxiety being so overwhelming.
What you need to do is go to a doctor. Your family doctor will be just fine, he/she can give you a recommendation to see a counsellor/pyschiatrist/psychologist depending on his analysis of the problem. My guess is that he will probably recommend you to a counsellor that works with a psychiatrist so you can be properly assessed, meaning that they need to determine what exactly you suffer from, and whether it's situational (because of events), or permanent (genetic). To me, it's sounds totally situational, therefore you will probably have a session every week or two with a counsellor and they may put you on a low-dosage of anti-anxiety drugs or anti-depressants; again, this is based on their analysis of you. If you're covered under medical, this should all be included. I'll send you a PM of my old counsellor's name and phone number...she's all the way out in Richmond but I'm sure that she can refer you to someone closer to your area! Good luck =)
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Nov 01, 02
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Thanks everyone for your comments and support. It seems like everyone is pointing in the direction of proffessional help, but everyone who i know that has gone to a shrink has told me that it's a complete utter waste of time. I admit that the idea of goin to one doesn't see as out of the question as I thought it was say........ a year ago. But I'm still a bit hesitant.
Marty, as for quittin all substances. That could pose as a problem when u mention weed. Weed is what calms me down, I fi don't smoke it now, i get completely high strung, and i just don't know what the hell to do with myself. I can see giving up everything else. But not my precious herbs. I'd like to give up cigarettes, but they won't give me up. :( Thanks for the reference galaxie, I will use it if i give in and decide to get pro. help. I'd like to do it w/o goin that far, but the way shit's goin down, it looks like i just might. And to everyone else that has lent an ear to listen....... thanks
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Nov 01, 02
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Just ask for some advice...I'm sure she can suggest some ways to organize yourself and stuff. You can always call CHIMO, as well. It's completely anonymous and they give good advice. I hope all is well....if you need more advice, PM me. I've been in your situation numerous times, I might be able to shed light on some dark spots that you don't wanna share with the whole board. chin up =)
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Nov 01, 02
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Shrinks are like over priced hookers and friends. You pay so much money for their time where as you could get the same kind of comfort and understanding/advice from your friends. The only difference is the price and label they carry. But that could also be because I'm against the whole idea of seeing a shrink and kicking back with anti depressants.
You take your aggresssion when you are stressed out on your family because you know that no matter what you say to them, they're still your family and they'll still care and love you. You hurt the ones that love you the most/that you love the most. If you bitched out towards some random stranger, what reason would they have to care? When you make an emotional outburst towards a loved one, they worry, they show concern, they retaliate, but at least they give you feedback. It lets them know that something is bother you and might indirectly try to help. Someone mentioned something about substances... maybe that's why you're broke? Because you spend all your money on drugs/drinking/whatever and have nothing to show for it but a crippling body/mind which could lead to your anxiety and stress. That falls back to the shrink thing, it's like while you quit illegal drugs, you get perscription drugs! YAH! More substances for your body to become dependent upon!
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Nov 01, 02
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I've seen a shrink.. dont, its stupid, (IMO) and waste of money.. It didn't help me at all! and I felt like a retard.. harsh lowered myself estem and shit.. not cool. if anything.. it made the situation WORSE. I rather talk to a CLOSE freind.. not just a friend that is the best or whatever.. but some one you can confiend in. Gawd, I'm glad I have a friend like that, and it works vice versa for her too!
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Nov 02, 02
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Check your PMs Chris. :)
As for seeing a shrink, I don't think it's fair to make a judgement before you've actually seen one. And even then, I don't think it's fair to make a full blown judgement if you've had a bad experience. Sometimes, it takes seeing 2, 3, 4...before you find one that you can actually relate to and feel comfortable with. I can understand how the thought of paying someone to listen to your problems and talk to you about them can make people feel uncomfortable. But seriously, if you find a good therapist and you walk in there open minded, it can be SO incredibly helpful. No, it's not going to be some miracle change in your life, cause in the end, you're still going to be the one who is making the changes in your life. But it can help... Anyways, my two cents for the morning...
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Nov 02, 02
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^^
I agree with Erica. I personally have never seen a therapist or a psychologist, but I know that there are various techniques of psychotherapy that can be used interchangeably or in several different types of combinations. it all depends on whichever method works for you. you have to shop around if you want a good therapist/psychologist. just cuz you had one bad experience with one therapist doesn't mean that there isn't a good one out there for you. --Joanne :P Last edited by Joanne; Nov 02, 02 at 03:18 PM.
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Nov 03, 02
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Sounds like some people may have gone to the wrong person for counselling therapy. Sitting in a comfortable room, with a licensed counsellor is probably one of the best things I've done in the past year. If you really need it, it is most likely covered with medical insurance. Going to someone outside of your family and friends allows for a different perspective. Most likely, friends and family will say "aw, that's okay, we'll work through this together, I'm here to listen anytime..." which is great, but it doesn't accomplish anything. Counsellors/psychologists, are there to give you actual ways to help yourself. If your problem is anxiety, or stress, or whatever, they can help get to the root of the problem, and walk you through ways to overcome it, and cope with it, thereby helping you help yourself, in ways that you or your friends may not have been able to do. Sometimes, all it takes is some breathing techniques or visualising...sometimes it takes breaking down a barrier in your life that has been up for a long time, that you never realised was there. Find someone qualified. And also, find out the physiological reasons behind the problem. There are a whole wack of chemicals in the body that account for so many crazy thoughts and feelings...it helps to get those under control.
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Nov 03, 02
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for those who are quick to assume that it is just "chemicals" that are the root of all people's problems, who's to answer whether or not it was the chemicals that started the depression or if it was the depression that caused the chemicals to change. it's a chicken or egg question. and I'm sure there ARE a number of people where medication would probably be the best thing for them. but I'm personally against the apparently 50% of the north american society who choose to pop a pill as quick fix to make everything all better, instead of perhaps choosing better, longer-lasting alternatives.
--Joanne :P
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Nov 03, 02
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I am not a fan for reaching out for help, I do believe that if you are able to overcome obstacles on your own, you are strengthening yourself, becoming more independent and reliable and letting yourself grow. If you must depend on something, or someone to help overcome your own obstacles in life, you're still a child, a dependent, a leech. Granted, some obstacles in life are too big to overcome on your own, but no one should be there to give you a map/guide as to how to cheat your way through or whatnot. This is all IN MY OPINION of course.
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Nov 03, 02
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it's funny how you mention this because research has shown that western society who have adopted the whole individualistic approach to their locus of control have greater rates of depression, simply because they are taught to be independent and that they have the power to control their own lives. but what happens when you fail or make it on your own? depression then becomes tied to guilt and self-blame over perceived failure. --Joanne :P
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Nov 03, 02
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I honestly do not think that there's anything wrong with reaching out for help, whether it be to friends, family, or a therapist. Yes, it is good to be independant, but at the same time, some problems ARE too big to cope with by yourself. I mean, what if the person never had previous experience with coping with big problems? Like, if they lived a sheltered life, everything always went somewhat smoothly, and then one day, BAM...something huge happens? Will they have acquired the coping mechanisms to get themselves through the problem in a healthy and effective way? Probably not. Chances are that the person is going to feel overwhelmed, and either NOT deal with the problem and become increasingly depressed over time...possibly evetually think that they can't handle it and turn to drugs or self-harm to numb the pain, or, they're going to deal with the problem, but not fully, and end up with some sort of burden that stays with them through their future experiences and life. I'm not saying that this is the case for everyone...it's just a possibility...to show that reaching out for help doesn't make you a weak person. In fact, I think that in most cases, reaching out for help shows that you're strong. That you've realised and admitted to yourself that there IS a problem, and that you WANT to change...that you want to face the problems and be able to overcome the obstacles. I think it takes a lot of courage to let your guard down and turn to someone and ask for help.
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Nov 03, 02
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There's nothing WRONG with reaching out to others, personally, it's just not my thing. This is all in personal experience but I find it better when I get it out and let it out with the only witness being myself. I don't like the idea of unloading my garbage onto other people. They are my friends, not Mr/Mrs. Garbage Clean Up of my Emotional Baggage Pooper Scoopers, well full time ones anyways ;] I don't mind if my friends turn to me for help/advice, but it's kind of a double standard, as in I couldn't see myself really doing that to them. Whatever works for one person might not work for the next.
On a side note, I don't believe that our Western society is independent at all, we depend on everything from perscription drugs, to lawyers to psychiatrists for our problems. Person A is sick, so instead of getting better on their own, they rely on anti-biotics. Person A is feeling depressed, instead of dealing with it, he turns to anti-depressants, anti-this, anti-that, anti-life. It's great that people are becoming more open, more "accepting", but a lot of them have become so dependant on anything and everything other than themselves. Do you know how much a psychiatrist costs per hour? He better be giving me head and eating shit out of my ass with each session. Maybe I'm a bit cynical in the whole thing, but that's life. You get depressed, you get stressed -- deal with it, everyone else has/does.
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Nov 04, 02
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they probably wouldn't be so dependent if they weren't trying so hard to be independent in the first place. --Joanne :P
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Nov 04, 02
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HAHAHHAHHA funny and i fully agree
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