When other people use pet names with YOUR significant other!

[cubed]

HEY MYRA, STOP CALLING ME SWEET CHEEKS!!!





you happy now rhia!!!

[galaxie]

Originally Posted by miss.myra

I think it's good you said something (I know that would bother me a lot), but I also think at the same time you have to sometimes let your 'too passive' boyfriend get a chance to try being assertive with people- especially if it bothered him too.

True story. He is just one to be bothered by things briefly and quickly forgets, but something will bother me continually until I address it.

[SEAN!]

werd is bond paul, *****hs be calling me seanu, with or without a wiz, and thats just what it is

[Bitchin]

you probably handled that a lot better then i would.
good for you... tho, you'd think your man would want her not to refer to him as 'lover'... aleast not in front of you.

[baby-phat]

I call all my friends hun and babe (and other such names), but I would never call them lover- especially if they're dating someone. That's just plain rude, and even a bit disrespectful. I think you handled it very well, and better than most girls would (or have). = )

**edit - if a guy friend told me that it bothers his g/f that I call him hun or whatever, then I would stop it post haste.

[lildonkey]

Originally Posted by tiedye

That being said, I respect the fact that it does bother you. I was just saying, some people just don't see it your way. Speaking to him about it before sending that letter was wise because I'd perceive that as a trust issue. I think you handled it well, I just felt a desire to state my moral standing since it was actually on topic for once.

I have a lot of girl - friends.. and i'm really close with my girls...

but i've been in a 5 year relationship, and i understand there are things that make my gf feel uncomfortable... like my friends running up and hugging me when they see me etc etc....

of course it's harmless, but i can totally understand why something like that would make my girlfriend feel uneasy... i don't think it's a trust issue, just a thing where it makes her feel uncomfortable.... especially if she was standing there and didn't know my girl - friends that well.. So i've talked with my girl friends about it and they understand also, because they have been in serious relationships also... and that's just how it is mostly...

I know that if i was standing with my gf, and one of her guy friends called her lover.. i'd be pissed off too.... that's just not something you to infront of someone and their significant other... even though it's harmless, to me it shows a sign of disrespect... like "yeah, i'm flirting with your girl... and infront of your face too"

meh.. just my opinion

[lildonkey]

that being said, whenever i see girls i know with their boyfriends... I quickly take off my clothing and apply a whip cream bikini on myself.

because that's just how i roll.

[tiedye]

Originally Posted by lildonkey

like my friends running up and hugging me when they see me etc etc....

That makes her uncomfortable? Jesus fuck. I couldn't hack that. I'd end it, seriously. Unless there is groping or suggestive touching involved, I'm ok with it. She could be sitting on my friend's lap while I'm shooting pool in a pub and I wouldn't give a fuck because I know it's nothing more than friendly interaction. Flirting is a natural part of most peoples' personality and I accept that.

Maybe I AM more easy going than most people.

[lildonkey]

Originally Posted by tiedye

That makes her uncomfortable? Jesus fuck. I couldn't hack that. I'd end it, seriously. Unless there is groping or suggestive touching involved, I'm ok with it. She could be sitting on my friend's lap while I'm shooting pool in a pub and I wouldn't give a fuck because I know it's nothing more than friendly interaction. Flirting is a natural part of most peoples' personality and I accept that.

Maybe I AM more easy going than most people.

I dunno man.. If i was in a room with my girlfriend and one of my girl - friends came and sat on my lap, I'd find it inappropriate... not a trust issue, but i'm her boyfriend and i'm certain it would make her feel uncomfortable, and i believe she would have every reason to be uncomfortable in that situation.

Everyone is different though, and everyone has a different type of relationship.

[tiedye]

The thing for me is, my entire romantic life is summed up into a single four month relationship in grade 9 that I ended because I realized I was more initially attracted to the idea of a fat kid landing a ridiculously hot girlfriend than I was her. Not to mention she'd cry whenever I didn't call when I got home after school even though I walked her home, or when I'd go hang out with my best friend (who was a girl AND introduced us) without inviting her. I guess a lot of that has to do with my philosophies nowadays. I haven't even been on a date (unless 10 of her friends and I watching a movie is considered a date) so I suppose I've probably developed some unique views on relationships since I've seen so many come and go and succeed and fail without having any real basis for comparison.

[galaxie]

^ That makes sense, soooo much sense.
I don't think it's cool to be a flirt on purpose when you are in a relationship or when the person you are flirting with is in a relationship. I understand that it's just a part of some peoples' personalities (like this girl my man is friends with), but those type of people also need to understand that it's a part of other peoples' personalities to be uncomfortable with them being flirtatious with your significant other. There's definitely a fine line and it's different for each relationship, that's why I think it's better for those "friends" to thoroughly avoid that line until they know their friend's gf/bf well enough to know where exactly the line is.

[Prissypants]

Hmmm...I don't know... I give pet names to alot of people...It is just a sign of affection. I still call one of my ex's "boo" it has just stuck with her and there is NOTHING going on there as far as friendship...She still calls me by my pet name...which will never be uttered on this board... :P

[LLaaUUrrYYn]

Originally Posted by tiedye

That makes her uncomfortable? Jesus fuck. I couldn't hack that. I'd end it, seriously. Unless there is groping or suggestive touching involved, I'm ok with it. She could be sitting on my friend's lap while I'm shooting pool in a pub and I wouldn't give a fuck because I know it's nothing more than friendly interaction. Flirting is a natural part of most peoples' personality and I accept that.

Maybe I AM more easy going than most people.

Dear Hippy

Have you ever been in a serious relationship? Are your opinions based on actual experience or just thoughts of how you MIGHT feel if you were in the same situation?

<3 Lauren

PS - Do you share your women? ;p

I am in no way a jealous girlfriend, but I definitely feel disrespected when other girls flirt with my boyfriend (especially in front of me)..

I am confident in my relationship - and understand that flirtation is usually harmless. It's just tacky to use cutesy pet names with another womens boyfriend.

THE END!

[LLaaUUrrYYn]

Originally Posted by LLaaUUrrYYn

Dear Hippy

Have you ever been in a serious relationship? Are your opinions based on actual experience or just thoughts of how you MIGHT feel if you were in the same situation?

<3 Lauren

PS - Do you share your women? ;p

!

NEVERMIND

I just read that you have not!

[Skitzo_Style]

i wouldn't care too much if some dude called my GF "lover".

back in the days of the roman empire, people reffered to all of their close hommies as "lovers". not cause they were gay (although there was alot of that going down in the city of sodom), but just as a genral term reffering them as someone special to them.

unless ur man has history with this chick in chicago, u should just leave it be. besides, then u got this chick talking smack about u to ur BF, saying "whats her fucking problem with me? blah blah blah......" and a whole bunch of bullshit ur man doesn't need to hear.

[zarlon]

Originally Posted by Prissypants

She still calls me by my pet name...which will never be uttered on this board... :P

worse than prissypants? :(

[*SunShyne*]

Originally Posted by galaxie

Jeeez.

This makes me SO MAD.
My boyfriend has this one friend, and she is alllllllways referring to him as "hun" and "babe", etc, but today was the last straw! She referred to him as "lover" and I just about freaking lost it. Ok, so I did lose it.

I think it's so absolutely rude and classless for people to do this. I don't CARE how long you've been friends, once he/she is off the market pet names should be reserved for the significant other ONLY (moms are an exception).

So, I sent her this message:

"I don't mean to be a bitch but I think it's kind of rude to refer to another woman's boyfriend as "lover". I'd appreciate it if you'd refrain from using that kind of terminology with my boyfriend. I understand that you've probably been friends for years, but I'm sure you can understand my discomfort with it as his girlfriend - you'd probably feel the same way.
Thanks :)"

Too harsh? Not harsh enough?
I really wanted to be all "bitch get it through your head he's myyyyy man so step off!" but you know, I try to keep it classy :P

I think...

You feel threatened because they have a relationship you will NEVER understand.

What you need to accept is that HE IS WITH YOU BECAUSE HE WANTS TO BE WITH YOU.

The sooner you accept this, the sooner you will get over this.

[Courtney]

I honestly wouldnt care personally but its totally a personal call.....
but to me "lovah" is such a casual word now cuz me and my freinds always say it to each toher

[galaxie]

Originally Posted by *SunShyne*

I think...

You feel threatened because they have a relationship you will NEVER understand.

What you need to accept is that HE IS WITH YOU BECAUSE HE WANTS TO BE WITH YOU.

The sooner you accept this, the sooner you will get over this.

Excuse me?
I don't feel threatened whatsoever. I felt offended that she lacked tact.
They are NOT GOOD FRIENDS. How many times do I need to say this? They've been friends for years but never see one another and barely ever talk. It's not like she's one of his best friends!

It has nothing to do with jealousy, and as soon as YOU accept this, you'll have removed your head from your ass and looked at it from someone else's perspective.

[*SunShyne*]

Originally Posted by galaxie

Excuse me?
I don't feel threatened whatsoever. I felt offended that she lacked tact.
They are NOT GOOD FRIENDS. How many times do I need to say this? They've been friends for years but never see one another and barely ever talk. It's not like she's one of his best friends!

It has nothing to do with jealousy, and as soon as YOU accept this, you'll have removed your head from your ass and looked at it from someone else's perspective.

This screams jealousy!

People refer to other people as "babe" "hun" "Darlin" "Luvah" "Sweet tits" all the time.

I'm sure you do with your guy friends as well... regardless how long you've known them.

It's just a word.

Get used to it and STFU. Start trusting your man more or get out of the relationship.

[*SunShyne*]

And you are jealous because you wrote her a letter telling her to back off.

No other non-jealous woman would do that.

And you are jealous because what you really wanted to says was "back off he's my man!"

If it's that big of a deal to you, break up with him... he's in Miami

[Guineveire]

as long as her hands isnt down his pants I'd trust my sugarplummuffintits.

[*SunShyne*]

^^^ Exactly.

It's all about trust

[robyn]

guys what is the most tactful way to say 'call my bf whatever you want just stop crawling around on him after a bottle of red wine'?

[ebbomega]

Open-handed slap to the face?