Life and its unexpectancies

[Lush]

I've recently been subject to a series of events that has not only been devestating but emotionally draining and all of this has taken a major toll on my health causing me to be sick since the new year.
On Saturday my dad told me that he's been diagnosed with prostate cancer, this sort of topped everything off and i've been a mess for the last two days just trying to cope with everything that's going on. I'm trying to see the light of everything, but there is no light in this situation, generally when I'm at the bottom of life's loop hole I look forward to things getting slightly better but this news has only further complicated everything.
My dad says that he caught it in the early stages but that's so typical of him to say, he's really strong and even if it was really bad he wouldn't tell me just because he wouldn't want me to worry. Regardless, i'm upset.. and horribly sick and everything is piling up and I don't even know why i'm venting on here.

I hate feeling sorry for myself, I hate having to be in a position where I feel vulnerable and fragile because everyone always sees me as the "strong" one and I feel as though I have to live up to that. I always try and brush things off because I know things can be so much worse and I hate taking the things I have for granted, so venting like this seems so selfish to me...

ah whatever
I wish I was at home lying in bed and listening to Portishead :(

[Pussy_Kat]

awe sweety no matter how strong u are u still need to vent once and a while
it keeps u human
im really sorry to hear about that and if theres anythign i can do just pm me or somin
ill talk to u later babe

[*spacecase*]

i find that life always throws things at you when you are least capable to deal with it.

I'm sorry to hear that life is hard for you right now.

Last winter, I went through a lot of difficult stuff. The only thing that got me through it was friends, family, writing, music, and doing things that made me feel GOOD about being me.

Best of luck getting through everything.
:kimmie:

[Jingles]

Just because you are strong doesn't mean you can't lean on someone else from time to time - it may not be what you are accstomed to doing - but we all need help sometines and I am sure your friends want to be there for you in the ways you have been there for them

We all have moments where we can not believe what life has thrown us - and yes there are people that have it worse out there then you -- So what? Does that make your feelings any less real or valid? NO it doesn't, you deserve to feel your emotions and denying them because someone else may have things worse isn't right -- Sure you can use it to gain perspective, but don't let it invalidate what you are feeling.
You need time to cope with the news, as I am sure your Dad will need as well. You can't always keep positive, but at least there is some security in know ing that this is a disease that is beaten everyday - not only that I personally think it is one that can be fought and with the weapons current medical science provides...well it's a good fight indeed.

I don't know what else life has tossed you - but i garuntee you are the type of gal who is strong enough to take it on. But just like if you were climbing a mountain you can't expect to do it all in one shot - so don't beat yourself up if you have to take a break to cope. Just because you need to cry, doesn't mean you are any less strong then you were before :)

[candytabi]

I'm feelin you girl! All I can say is that I have been feeling pretty much like you described there. I haven't been getting much sleep since over a month now. I have so many things going through my mind right now about things that happened to me and where I stand in life right now, that I can not get any rest. That of course leads me to being extremely vulnerable to any form of distress and pain thus causing more trouble to come my way.
I am wishing you and your father the best of luck in the future. Also I want you to know that you are not alone out there with your troubles and hurt.
All the best to you.
Tabi

[mojo]

if you need someone to talk to Shadi, give me a call. i know i dont know you all that well, but im a good listener. I wish you and your family the best.

i hear coffee helps too:P

[mugsy]

you have every right to be sad and upset about your dad, its a crushing thing that can happen. dont be angry at yourself for feeling this way, and dont hold anything back.
and this has been\will be said lots to you, but with what they can do now a days, your dad is sure to get better.
you dont always have to make lemonade from the lemons that are tossed at you.....

[party_babe]

Aww, thats awful babe im so sorry to hear that. You definatley come across as a very strong individual so its understandable for you to feel like you have to live up to that but even strong ppl go through bad times and those times are hard for everyone. Take care of your health because you need to be healthy to deal with all this shit but also take care of yourself emotionally the best you can. Good luck sweetie stay strong :kimmie:

xoxoxMICHELLExoxox

[brokencrayon]

I am sorry to hear that hun. I know how it feels to find out your dad is really sick because my dad was also very sick- not with the same illness as ur dad has but ya. just want u to know that even though I don't know u, u can always PM me or email me anytime if ur feeling down because I know how u are feeling and it might help to talk to someone who has been through a similar experience. *biggest hugs*

[xxBabyDawlxx]

Originally posted by *spacecase*
i find that life always throws things at you when you are least capable to deal with it.

I'm sorry to hear that life is hard for you right now.

Last winter, I went through a lot of difficult stuff. The only thing that got me through it was friends, family, writing, music, and doing things that made me feel GOOD about being me.

Best of luck getting through everything.
:kimmie:

what u sed about life throwing things at you when u are least capable to deal with it is so true.

This summer I went through a really hard time which I know was my fault, but I just lost everything that mattered to me. Im talking everything...I lost everyone of my girls including my best friend for life, my boy who sed he would be there till the end, my familys trust... and this was all within a week. It was the hardest time in my life and I was constantly being faced with new challenges and complications. Just when I thought things could get no worse...they would. I just took some time to away from it all to figure everything out. I went up to my cabin for about 3 weeks and just relaxed, patched things up with my family, got over my heartache, and cleaned myself up. When I got home I was ready to fix everything else...

I still can't believe i got through everything...I was so close to giving up completely. But if theres one thing I've learned its that you have to deal with everything one step at a time...figure out whats most important to you, then deal with it. If it can't be dealt with accept it. And sometimes it does help to vent about it I know.

Anyways, I hope you can find a way to deal with everything...and smile again. Life can be relli unfair at times but I know it will get better, because it always duz...

[Lush]

Thanks you guys, there have been some awesome posts here and I really appreciate everyones concern.

Some of my friends have been so supportive throughout this and it just really blows me away, it's also during times like this that I have the opportunity to find out who my "real" friends are and who the fair-weathered ones are as well.

Regardless, I'm doing much better and I just wanted to say thank you.