Guy friends that aren't happy enough with just being friends

[MistressSpankME]

Ok.. I know you like me, I know you want a piece But I've clearly stated over and over again that that will never happen. He's a nice guy, so i want to be friends with him. He knows I'm in a relationship etc etc. However, he "jokes" about wanting me or us being together way too much. And despite all the factors against him, still invites me over to his house to "watch a movie". I really needed someone to talk to, and him being the supporting and caring person he is I opted to talk to him (that and my official whine-to-friend is at work), in the middle of a serious conversation he takes something I say as a chance to tell me something completely innapropriate concerning the way I looked last time we hung out and the "desires" that it prompted.

Thanks.

I HATE having this problem with Male friends. Just fucking get a clue and give up if you want to continue being in my life at all. If he likes me so much he should be happy with me being happy regardless of the fact that it means I'm happy with someone OTHER than him. Oh and you can't forget the critisism, and belittling he does of your relationship, to what? Up his chances??!!. Anyone else have this problem?

[Pussy_Kat]

i have a problem like that too
cept now hes not talking to me
and i miss him lots

[Moon]

its not an unknown fact that a guy and girl cannot be close friends unless one or both of the parties are gay

have you not seen when harry met sally? =)

[hardstylin]

Well i can see most guys acting like this if you were single but the fact that you have a dude/girl already tells me hes just being an idiot, and I dont think theres anything you can do about, maybe dress like a totall hobo next time you hang out so he just gets all grossed out haha that might work or tell him straight up to smartin the fuck up and stop being dork about the whole thing. There must be some else you can talk other then him fuck you can pm if you want ill always lend my opinion.

[miss.myra]

haha story of my life.


I think that you have to understand that it is hard for males to stay platonic- if they're spending lots of time together with a girl that they have stuff in common with, then it's not suprizing that the thought passes.

I don't really mind it too much, because I can understand why it happens. What bugs me is when friends pull some kind of 'all or nothing' bullshit on me, if they can't get the relationship or the sex, then they'll just discontinue the friendship. Now THAT really irks me!

[Pussy_Kat]

^ awe your soo nice
hehehe
and have good ideas on how to fix things

[prozac]

I feel ya! I've had the same thing going on lately.

At least he probably doesn't get angry and diss you and argue with you as if somehow you're "wrong" and he's "right" and he can convince you into liking him in that way.

[Crazy Dave]

god lord there must be some thing wrong with me,,, I have tons of girls that are close friends. But for the most part nothing ever happens, nor does ether party try.

[Nyame]

Obviously these guys are not your real friends then. It is completey possible to have platonic friendships with straight guys, I have more trouble bieng friends with girls. And in most cases, if they have the idea that it will go further, that idea most likely was brought on by your actions.

PS I am not a lesbian

[hardstylin]

Originally posted by Nyame
PS I am not a lesbian

hahaha were did that come from!?

[zarlon]

hey, maybe he really just wants to watch movies.

=(

[Jrock]

^^^^ It's possible.. but then again, how many males would keep it in their pants?

-jay :209:

[zarlon]

dunno, the ones that aren't desperate or obsessive?

just a thought tho..

[Bitchin]

Well quit looking so damn fine jenna.. and the boys will leave you alone ;)

[bebu*funfun]

arrr i feel ya jenna

i really dislike it when guys get to me, and become friends with me.. then feelings start to grow and after expressing how i dont feel the same way. they cut off EVERYTHING with me..whats up with that? can't a guy just be a friend.. its so sad. ive had some of the coolest ppl leave my life, and some even shock me in how drasticly they changed on me...after a simple clash.


jenna..suck it up ure just hot stuff.

[Berta]

yup almost every real good guy friend always wants more.

Originally posted by miss.myra:


I don't really mind it too much, because I can understand why it happens. What bugs me is when friends pull some kind of 'all or nothing' bullshit on me, if they can't get the relationship or the sex, then they'll just discontinue the friendship. Now THAT really irks me! [/b]

yes the all or nothing thing...if my best friend back in teh summer didnt pull the...i cant be friends with u anymore i like u too much, we can either go out or be friends..then i wouldnt have the bf i have today...cuz hes that best friend!!! grr i hate it when they do that but for sum reason i let things go further because i did like him a bit adn couldnt loose him. but now things are gettin weird..:S:S maybe cuz its been 6 months...

[MistressSpankME]

Hardstylin, you are right. he's not the only person I have to talk to, thanks anyways for offering your "services" if I needed them. That was sweet.

And about the friends of the opposite sex not being able to have a platonic relationship, sometimes it might be hard but I have plenty of guy friends and our relationships are just fine, even if I want a piece or vice versa. I just sit their with my little fantasies in my head and thats as far as that ever goes. Even if they do want more, they are keeping it to themselves pretty well and consdiering I'm with someone at the moment thats the best thing for them to do. It's the way this guy is handling his desires that really bothers me. CONSTANTLY joking about it, saying how hot I look in this or that, suggesting that I take a Break from my b/f (and for what reason??? don't ask me).

And it sucks when they pull the all or nothing trick, losing someone cool from your life hurts. But then again, maybe they aren't so great if they are going to go and pull shit like that.

And claire, that was just code for what he said. It wasn't movies he wanted to watch.

Bev, and J'nette: Maybe I should get mad at my parents for passing me down such good genes, it's all their fault!!! DAMN THEM :P

[PHOTONIC]

I can't remember where i heard it but it goes like this...

Women always have plutonic male friends.
Men don't. Men only have women friends that they havn't fucked yet.

[hardstylin]

do you want to watch a movie= do you want to come over and fuck. everybody know this!! its the code

[MistressSpankME]

^ that's not what he said. -I-, just typed that he wanted to "watch a movie". It's called sarcasm my dear, I'm not the kind of person that thinks everyone wants to fuck me if they ask me to watch a movie.

[stringbeans]

i think you should stab him

[hardstylin]

^^ hehe didnt mean anything ur way, was ment for zarlon.

[MrDFrost]

despite whats been said here. IT IS possible for a guy to just be friends with a girl. I myself never had the problem. There were a few that I started to quite enjoy hanging around with. But i never acted it on it, as i didnt feel it to be appropriate.

You have to take into the factor their ages as well. Younger guys get hit harder with that bug. I can honestly say that I have more "girlfriends" than "guy friends".

If boundaries are set after the initial confrontation thats gone past just jokes. You need to speak your mind, and if he doesnt get a clue, thats too bad.

How OLD is he if you dont mind me askin?

[hardstylin]

^^ agreed i have lots of chick friends that wanted to "watch movies with me" and i never acted on it,as soon as u fool around with a friend theres a chance of fucking up the friendship so its not worth it.

[SEAN!]

some girls are rather guarded about their true feelings so it pays off to be presistant when pursuing them. Perhaps he believes that you are one of those girls.

or maybe hes just a lonely desperate loser