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Jul 23, 04
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Whether phsyical/mental abuse, alchoholism, substance abuse or any other issue, female OR male (yes, guys get abused too) people are gonna have to put up and shutup and quit bitching about it or leave.
There are programs out their to support the above issues, they don't solve the issues but they do exist, but it's each and every one of us who have to make that choice. Don't like it? ask yourself some questions: what supports do i have in place if i leave my abusive partner: parents, government, aid program? when are these available under what circumstances? If you don't know what's available, get up off the couch and find out. Hit up a community centre, your town hall, the yellow pages. Don't like it, leave. Don't want to leave but think the problem is going to miraculously disapear, put up and shutup. Priorities. 
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Jul 23, 04
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I made a post about this awhile ago as it just happened to my cousin. I understand all the reasons that run through the mind as to why it's ok. but along with those reasons there is also the knowledge that it is not ok, and that just adds to the helpless feeling. I wish more women (and men) who are in abusive relationships would speak out and get help to do what they can't do alone; leave before it's too late.
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Jul 23, 04
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If only it were that simple, then the world would be a much better place People that abuse others also play hardcore mind games It's hard to know what it's like unless you were in that situation haha it's nbever happened to me, but I've seen others go thru it
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Jul 23, 04
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its not that easy... my mom was in a abusive relationship w/ my dad.. its easier said then done. MS.CHOP on nunda's account k thnx. Last edited by x0x_manda_x0x; Jul 23, 04 at 05:42 PM.
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Jul 24, 04
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i was in a relationship like that, the first 10 months were fine, but then he would hit me, for no reson, he would just come home all pissed off and take it out on me...so one day i told him to goto fuck himself, and sent my dad over...and i hav'nt heard of him since.
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Jul 24, 04
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G
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Jul 24, 04
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like i said b4.. its easier said then done.. trust me.. most of u are outsiders and dont understand.. my mom is a very strong women.. infact she was the biggest bully at all her skools.. she's a tuff lady.. but.. wen it came down to my dad.. it was bad... now she has mental stress.. and she cant cope w/ shit... she cant even work... in sum cases women can get out of it...but others sumtimes cant.. but even wen my mom tried.. it didnt work... ive lived in pretty much every toronto women/children shelters(well at the time that i lived there at least) cuz it got that bad..there are times they jus dont give up.... no matter wut tho.. sumhow we'd go back.. and the same shit would happen.. or we'd get stalked.. if indeed ur friends come up to u w/ this problem.. tell them to go see sum1 w/ authority to help them.. cuz sumtimes thats the only way u can get out of it.. if u have ignorent shit to say about this TOUCHY subject then u can honestly go fuck urself and think outside the box... Last edited by Ms.Chop; Jul 24, 04 at 09:03 AM.
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Jul 29, 04
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i think many of you fail to understand the cycle of abuse most that are abused believe themselves somehow responsible for their abuse, through actions words, or even just being who they are it infurates me to no end, that all of you think it's just people being stupid who don't leave their abusive spouse so many of these people don't even realize that it's abuse they are uffering through and many who do are so scared they feel like they can't do anything about it -- its the whole comfort thing, it may be bad, but at least you know what to expect where as if you left you don't know what would happen i am not going to type this all out again, there have been posts before about this dont' presume to know a situation you have never been in or been close to you don't know, you could be judging someone in your family or circle of friends who is suffering right now. Its not stupidity that keeps people where they are - the mind is a complicated thing, and sometimes calling for help doesn't even register in the mind of a person who doesn't think they are worth helping or doesn't know they need to be helped HOW WIDESPREAD IS SPOUSAL ABUSE IN CANADA? http://canada.justice.gc.ca/en/ps/fm...tml#widespread It has been difficult to obtain a complete picture of the full extent of spousal abuse in Canada because it often remains hidden. A person who is being abused may endure the abuse for a long time before seeking support. Some victims never tell anyone about the abuse. A person who is being abused may be reluctant - or unable - to talk about or report abuse for many different reasons. For example, they may be emotionally attached to the abusive partner or have strong beliefs about keeping their relationship or family together. They may fear that the abuser will retaliate (against them or their loved ones) or they may fear being stigmatized by others. They may be economically dependent on the abusive partner. They may live in an isolated area, or be socially isolated from others. They may face communications, language or cultural barriers. They may feel ashamed or powerless and lack access to information, resources and support. In particular, victims may be reluctant to involve authorities because they: do not want the abuser to be removed from the home, go to jail or have a criminal record do not believe that involving the criminal justice system will stop the abuse, or they do not believe that the criminal justice system can help or protect them. Many cases of spousal abuse are still not reported to the police - although there are some signs that reporting is increasing.6 The most complete information about the extent of spousal abuse in Canada comes from the 1999 General Social Survey on Victimization (GSS).7 This victimization survey asked almost 26,000 women and men in Canada about their experiences of abuse including experiences of violence and emotional abuse in their current or previous marriages and common law partnerships. According to the GSS, women and men experience similar rates of both violence and emotional abuse in their relationships. The survey found, however, that the violence experienced by women is tended to be more severe - and more often repeated - than the violence directed at men. For example, compared to men, women were: six times more likely to report being sexually assaulted five times more likely to report being choked five times more likely to require medical attention, as a result of an assault three times more likely to be physically injured by an assault more than twice as likely to report being beaten almost twice as likely to report being threatened with, or having a gun or knife used against them much more likely to fear for their lives, or be afraid for their children as a result of the violence more likely to have sleeping problems, suffer depression or anxiety attacks, or have lowered self-esteem as a result of being abused, and more likely to report repeated victimization.8 Some researchers have noted that the survey also found that women experience higher levels of certain types of emotional abuse. Compared to men, women: were four times more likely to report being threatened, harmed, or having someone close to them threatened or harmed were four times more likely to report being denied access to family income were more than twice as likely to report having their property damaged or their possessions destroyed reported a higher incidence of being isolated from family and friends, and reported a higher rate of name-calling and put downs.9 Homicide data reveals that women are also at higher risk of being killed by their husbands. In the past two decades, three times as many wives were killed by their husbands, as husbands killed by wives.10 The rate of spousal homicide is much higher for Aboriginal women and men.11
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Jul 29, 04
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Most of these women think the man is amazing and at times, it seems like it. heck they even get married, have wonderful kids than all of the sudden it starts going downhill and shit. Seriously you have the nerve to say what you did. Grow up seriously, and wake up to the real world. Fucking loser!!!
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Jul 29, 04
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Last edited by jenn_ifer; Jul 29, 04 at 12:07 PM.
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Jul 29, 04
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To lazy to read what everyone else said but........ It's not as simple as just get up and leave. Sometimes it doesn't come out until you're married w/ kids. Getting out is a lot harder when that's the situation. Some women can't leave right away because they're scared shitless of what the man might do to them when they take the kids and leave. A lot of women have to go into hiding after they leave. I have a lot to say on this subject but typing seems so not fun right now.
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Jul 29, 04
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Jul 29, 04
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How can anyone say it's easy to just get up and leave..? if it was just easy to get up and leave then why dont the other thousands or possibly millions of beaten women in the world do that too? obviously tehre's an emotional attachment invovled in the situation where she believe he's gonna get better or he's gonna stop. In reality, it probably isn't gonna stop, so the only other options for women is guns, that's why there's battered women syndrome now, that is accepted in court, where if women defend themselves by killing the man or hurting the man, the judge or jury will take into account a lesser charge.
Last edited by DiamondDash2k; Jul 29, 04 at 02:51 PM.
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