So apparently

[miss.myra]

When you feel like you've got what you want all figured out, you don't.

When you're cool with being this robot void of emotion, someone's gotta tinker with that to make you show that yes, you are capable of having feelings for people.

I don't know what is worse, realizing I'm not the total fucking robot I had thought I was (and v. much enjoyed being), or this whole rollercoaster that such feelings has gotten me on.


argh.

[mojo]

apathy is for geeks

get on the love train baybey!

for serious though, enjoy the ride. its got to be better then feeling numb.

[robyn]

Whyyyy are we the same person?

Hey! Just fall in love, maybe?

You can always come back to me if it doesn't work out.

[miss.myra]

Hey! I was in a relationship for three years, I've done the loooove thing.

I'm not quite sure I'm even ready for a relationship, let alone the big L right now, but things just seem to fall comfortably into place and I can't seem to deny that.

[Akeel]

rrrrrrrrrrrobots!
rrrrrrrrrrrobots!
cybernetic!
automation!
remote control!

[galaxie]

awwwwwwwww
I knew you could do better than a robot, lady!

[robyn]

Originally Posted by miss.myra

Hey! I was in a relationship for three years, I've done the loooove thing.

I'm not quite sure I'm even ready for a relationship, let alone the big L right now, but things just seem to fall comfortably into place and I can't seem to deny that.

So fall in like, then! If it all comes crashing down I'll just bring you some festive cookies and a San Pelligrino and Stoli.

Problem solved!

[sidekick]

roll with the punches myra.

friends will always be there robot or not. :)

[miss.myra]

Originally Posted by Sidekick

roll with the punches myra.

Eh, if it was just as simple as going with it, rolling with the punches I am certain I would.

Oooooooof course, it's not that simple, or easy :( complications.

[Akeel]

feelings are over-rated.

the best thing to do is push them deep down inside you and never talk about them again.

[G-Style]

Originally Posted by Akeel

feelings are over-rated.

the best thing to do is push them deep down inside you and never talk about them again.

I concur...this is always the best action to take...

[Ree Fresh]

Akeel you might be onto somthing???


This thred calls for Legos and wine!

[ebbomega]

Originally Posted by miss.myra

Hey! I was in a relationship for three years, I've done the loooove thing.

I'm not quite sure I'm even ready for a relationship, let alone the big L right now, but things just seem to fall comfortably into place and I can't seem to deny that.

Heheheh. I can totally empathize with this one.

Here's a quick rundown on what happened to me relationship-wise in the last year.

A whiles back I had to move back to Vancouver Island. It was a pretty low point for me as I had a girlfriend and friends in Vancouver that I really didn't want to give up. So I moved to the island, got a job, and proceeded to spend every cent I had on taking bi-weekly trips to the mainland to visit with my girlfriend (read: visit the girlfriend.... Really only mutual friends between us got much time to hang out with me, which meant that I missed out on a lot of stuff my other friends were doing).

So nearly a year goes by. We're looking at about June last year to April this year. By about April, some concerns are raised as to whether I'm ever gonna make it back to the mainland, and it seems to rock the relationship a little. So, after hitting up Van once for a rave, I seclude myself to the island and focus on garnering money so that I can have a solid base before I move back to the mainland. This means giving up the bi-weekly trips. Automatically, you'd think that this would give her an excuse to come out to the island a bit more often and meet my friends.

Heh. Wouldn't that have been nice.

She came out twice since then. The third time was supposed to be my birthday, but the week before, as I was over on the mainland, she seemed to be holding me at arms length.... We had a couple issues, she was missing having someone around a bunch, I was... I dunno... pretty pissed off that these things were coming up now... it was like, what the fuck am I supposed to do? If you want me on the mainland, bear out the couple of months of not seeing me or come the fuck over already, and if you wanna see me regularily then I really can't put aside the money to start looking to come back out.

So, weekend before my birthday, she's being all meefy, and finally I just say "Look, do you wanna talk about this? Because it's pretty obvious something's up..."

"I didn't wanna bring it up now."
"What? You wanna do this on my birthday?"

So we have the breakup conversation. Her doing. It fucking hurt, to be putting in so much energy for an entire year to keep it going just to have it thrown back at you once you try to put some effort to make it so you don't have to put so much energy into it any more.

Well, my form of therapy was pretty good: My friends. I think I eventually ended up crying simply because of some stupid bullshit issue involving my hat at the beach (I really didn't care about the hat, I just really needed to let some crying out).

Since then I've noticed myself doing more assholish guy things. I dunno if it's that I'm doing them more or if I'm just seeing it now, but it seems to me that a lot of the vitality and enthusiasm I originally had towards the concept of the relationship has become... I dunno... jaded? I don't think I'm ready for a relationship now, though I might be.... for now I'm just happy being a friend to my friends and experiencing moments with them. Relationships aren't even a concern. If something happens, I suppose it will, but I'll deal with it when that situation comes.

I don't know if anything I said was helpful. I think I felt like just venting it more than anything. It's just... you're not alone Myra.... I know what you're feeling, and I'm willing to bet a lot of other people do... Which is a surefire sign that this is one of those things we've all gotta just live through and when it ends we'll all be better people for it. We may hurt people, including ourselves, along the way.... but that's just a part of life. All we can really do is take our observations and see how else we can reapply them.

[miss.myra]

^ thanks for that, dave! :)


I don't know, I feel like there's probably a point about a year ago (give or take) when I just stopped caring, and I gradually stopped becoming the passionate emotional person I used to be, especially in relationships. When it finally came time to break up with my boyfriend of three years because for months I felt like..nothing. Even when he spazzed out at me or was a total jerk I just stopped fucking caring or even reacting..I wasn't even sad, I never even to this day, months and months later have had a good cry about it. All this has done is lead me on various paths, dating people and being able to pull off the arm's length thing fantastically. We stopped hanging out, stopped calling, and none of it mattered. I was able to get most of what I wanted just by being a pure hedonist and going on like that.

I think now that I've been able to find something that feels so nice, and I feel myself growing closer to someone and it weirds me out, but I'll just roll with it. The thing is, I'm pretty certain this person doesn't want a relationship and I think for once, I actually do.

[Sykonee]

Love's a powerful addiction, probably because it comes free with our biological baggage. But, like any addictive item, it can wreck havoc on our lives if we aren't responsible with it. This is why it's good to be cautious about relationships. Those who rush tend to get wrapped up in the wonderful sensations it causes in our brains, blinded to certain realities of a situation.

On the other hand, sometimes it's good fun just to be swept away anyways.

"Aaassss the ruuuussshhh coooommmeessss................."