social scene changing

[Ragga_Wh0re]

so my social scene has had to change,not by choice,and lemme tell you...the grass is not fucking greener on the other side!

i go to these clubs,where i only know a handful of people,i go to these clubs where the music really sucks,i go to these clubs where people dunno how to dance,i go to these clubs where women are attention mongering whores,and guys are greasy bastards.

Alcohol seems to numb the pain and my clear distaste for this social scene.

Maybe next Ill turn to jesus,I heard christians really know how to bruck out.

[TrixX]

well that doesn't sound like much fun.!!!!!

what's the reason for the crossover anyway???
can't you just cross back???

[LeeBrat]

oh wow....that sounds horrible...why have things been so bad? well, i hope things start to turn up for you.
*hugz*

[Sniper]

That sucks......hope things work out in a way that makes things more fun for you

[miss.myra]

Why clubs anyways?

I need to be a hermit again, but I think I need someone to do that with.

[diva]

Hermit with me!
Or, you can borrow one of my displaced kitty cats.

[miss.myra]

done and done!

do you do cuddle calls, esi? :)

[Ragga_Wh0re]

why clubs?

booze
beats,even tho they suck
to dance,even tho the music im dancing to sucks
to see people,even tho they suck
to meet people,even tho most of them suck
and to not be a hermit:)

i can cross over in another city,just not here apparently.

[TrixX]

fuck i feel bad for you.
i still don't understand why you can 'apparently not' cross back over

[FeelGood]

you sound very depressed.
insert corny song here.

'dont you want somebody love, dont you need somebody to love'

[ebbomega]

Since when is Jefferson Airplane corny?

Anyways, I think I can kind of relate.

Nearly two years ago, I had to move back in with my parents, who live in Duncan, from Van. After spending 4 years building up a social circle of great friends, I got uprooted and had to start everything semi-new. Early on I latched on to a few key people and spent my entire winter last year holing up with them in Youbou, smoking a shitload of weed, becoming a well-versed stoner, and playing a bunch of video games and watching a bunch of movies.

Around about April of last year, one of my core friends, Neil, went with his girlfriend on a trip to Europe for a few months. Then when June rolled around, one friend moved to Merritt, another moved to Utah, and a third went down to Utah for two weeks.

I was down to, like, 2 good friends in the entire city.

So, beginning of June, I grabbed one of these good friends and went to a rave on mushrooms with him. We ran into the rest of the people our age there that we knew (apparently I knew more people than I thought...) and I had a fucking cool raving-on-mushrooms experience. Also kindled up a bunch of solid friendships at that party. Finally found a social scene I had something I could latch onto. Started partying again, this time around Duncan (very different than partying in Van, let me tell you), and made a bunch of really really good friends there.

So it took me about a year, but I finally managed to make myself comfortable living in Duncan.

Then, last November, I moved to Nanaimo for work. Once again, I'm uprooted, with a very small group of close friends who I don't see very often anyways.... the thing is, at my work (which is where just about everybody my age in this city works), we all have strange fucked up hours, so everybody's got staggered shifts and it's impossible to hang out with friends in this town very often. As a result, even though I've been here since November, last weekend was the first weekend I actually spent here in town. Mostly I either hop back to Duncan or take a trip out to Van. Maybe it might take me another year before I can feel at home here. I hope not, as I hope I'm not really living here anymore by the time a year rolls around.

Point is, being uprooted really sucks. Especially if you've just gotten yourself comfortable somewhere. But give it some time and eventually you'll find some part of where you are that lets you think: "I'm home, at least for now."

I still miss all my Van friends, and now I miss all my Duncan friends too. One thing I do know is that when I next leave the island, I have a whole new appreciation for Duncan and the people in it. And the Vortex will always have a hold on me (heck, going back there Wednesday night...).

[Ragga_Wh0re]

^yeah i totally appreciate what i once took for granted.
The music will always be a constant in my life but the scene not so much which really blows cuz like 80% of my friends are in the dnb scene,and the other 20% are chached out barstars,I love em to death but MAN is it ever rough weeding out all the bastard barstars.
Its not as bad as Im making it sound out to be,cuz it could always be worse,im just kinda frusterated at myself to be having to go through this shit at all.But then again everything happens for a reason...right?!

Maybe ill stumble upon some closet junglist barstars,and then we will have all night rave partys together!

ha!

</3

[Ragga_Wh0re]

Originally Posted by eighty5

you sound very depressed.
insert corny song here.

'dont you want somebody love, dont you need somebody to love'

i am tho,its almost like life isnt worth living anymore. I have no meaning,no will to carry on,nothing to look forward too...melodramatic i know but 100% truth.

[Courtney]

^ i know wutchu mean...except 95% of my friends hate jungle,breaks..anything involving the "rave" scene...just try to have fun at the other places..i accept there shit cuz otherwise ide be unhappy wehn i was out with them..i still need my fun so i have my other friends who share my love but my main ones hate jungle which is weird for me to understand,but i try to...

[ebbomega]

Honestly, you know what saved me in the end?

Not clinging to specific styles of music.

This past summer I got into Industrial, Hip-Hop, Breakbeats, Metal (to an extent), Indie Rock, and a host of bands I wasn't into before. Before I was limited to classic Rave, techno and house of a couple varieties. Pretty narrow. While I was an avid music collector for many years before, my collection jumped from 2G to 20G in merely 4 months.

While your barstar friends aren't necessarily into DnB, why not try out what they're into... see if you can find anything good.... Keeping a closed mind about these things isn't going to help you feel any more comfortable. I'm not saying that you necessarily need to enjoy their shitty music... I'm just saying there's more in the world than just DnB.

[Ragga_Wh0re]

by no means do i cling to any genre of music.Ive grown up on a plethora of different genres of music such as;classical,death metal,punk,hardcore,thrash metal,jazz,hip hop etc.Im an avid jazz listener as is,as a matter of fact my boss always gives me shit for bringing only jazz cds to work.

The thing is tho is that I listened to commercial music for many years,as well as under ground music,then like 5 yrs ago dnb rocked my little world and since then ive found my heart.When i first turned 19,hell even before I was legal,I was attending clubs where the only music played would be top40 and hip hop.So ive tried what thier into,at times i even still listen to the genres they r into,and still no dice.

Basically commercial hip hop and top 40 music is monotonous,cliche and redundant. I mean sure theres the odd catchy track,but its just not where my heart is...you know?Im not a total killjoy when I go out,I just kinda silently snicker as I hear the dj trainwreck again and again,watch chicks hump each others legs and rub thier chests together in an attempt to be "sexy" and grab the attention of some messy drunk boy in hopes that messy drunk boy will buy them a drink or something of the like.

A couple of my barstar friends like some dnb tracks,but they are mostly into house which i can somewhat deal with. House is happy to listen to when youre severely hungover and hating the world:)

[ill-esha]

do you have a creative outlet? arts, music creation, or even some kind of physical activity like hiking or snowboarding? you can't look to your friends and your "scene" to create meaning for you.... it's a huge mistake and one that i made for many years. i based my entire sense of self worth on who i was as a dj and who my friends were.. and what that meant is that every time the music scene went down, every time someone critiqued me like that, i felt totally bummed out and worthless. then i spent 2 years just completely immersed in creating music, spending time with my family, travelling a little bit, doing all kinds of things that had nothing to do with a scene, and began to feel a lot more happy just being me. now, i find that the friends around me and the places i go seem a whole lot better because the fate of my happiness isn't riding on them.. and when you're happy from the inside you will naturally attract interesting, diverse, loyal people.

don't turn to jesus, or another scene, just turn inside yourself and take a good hard look at what you need to do to be happy with who you are that doesn't depend on others.

[Rhianna]

Originally Posted by miss.myra

I need to be a hermit again, but I think I need someone to do that with.

Watch out, once you become a hermit it's really hard to stop being one.

Just look at me!

[dj_soo]

dammit Val, just move to vancouver :)

[miss.myra]

Originally Posted by Rhianna

Watch out, once you become a hermit it's really hard to stop being one.

Just look at me!

haha I did it for nearly three years, it was alright :)

[Ragga_Wh0re]

ill-e-sha:

i write,but i dont have the time or patience to persue my writing or open mic nights.I live in surrey i work in surrey,I work nights in surrey tues-sat cuz I serve&tend at a restaurant. During the day i go to the gym and run errands,and shop.Then i come home,get ready for work,go to work,then come home.Im going to be going back to school soon,so my time to do cool anti-scene stuff will be even more limited.

Id love to spend time with my family but realistically I dont have that luxury.My scheduale constantly conflicts with my familys so it sucks ass.I cant even remember the last time I spent a day hanging out with my niece!:(

Ive already done that whole self inventory thing many many times,and this is where I am now,and realistically this is where i have to be now.

it really blows being all grows up.

[Ragga_Wh0re]

Originally Posted by mofo-x

dammit Val, just move to vancouver :)

yeah i can totally afford to live in a luxury cardboard box east van steez!

[ill-esha]

val,
you're going back to school - good for you! i was just worried that maybe you were losing sight of your goals, but i see now that you are instead just working harder towards them. yes, it sucks having to be grown up - i just posted about it the other day. i also have no time, i am a stepmom to 2 kids every weekend and i work monday to friday in an office as well as in my studio at nights so i feel ya. but i live in vancouver, so it isn't too bad. it isn't THAT expensive to live here! but if you work in surrey, the commute would cut into your day.

what are you taking in school?

[dapimpstress]

Originally Posted by eighty5

you sound very depressed.
insert corny song here.

'dont you want somebody love, dont you need somebody to love'

boo-urns to u... this song is not corny. pfft.

ps- val. change is always hard at first. i hope u find what you're looking for dear. if not... move to seattle. i'll be your screen, tell u wuts up... which ish sucks, and which don't. it's alot easier when u already kno where da tight places are. *hugs n luvs* - ashes

[Ragga_Wh0re]

Originally Posted by ill-esha

val,
you're going back to school - good for you! i was just worried that maybe you were losing sight of your goals, but i see now that you are instead just working harder towards them. yes, it sucks having to be grown up - i just posted about it the other day. i also have no time, i am a stepmom to 2 kids every weekend and i work monday to friday in an office as well as in my studio at nights so i feel ya. but i live in vancouver, so it isn't too bad. it isn't THAT expensive to live here! but if you work in surrey, the commute would cut into your day.

what are you taking in school?

im going back to school pt so i can get my grade 12 english and math so that in sept or jan 06 at the latest i will be attending bcit part time studying business admin.I have not lost sight of my goals,Ive actually just found them!
Hopefully by next year I will be living downtown if not closer to downtown. *sigh*

ash id be all over sea town if i didnt hate g dubya!*hugs*