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Feb 21, 05
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so she's different, everyone one is different, shouldn't make a difference. i've hung around with a few people who are accompanied by a "disability" if you really want to call it that. some of them are sucha blast to hang out with.
Wum, you just gotta find something she really likes and just slowly build your relationship on that, after you have a connection with her you can try other topics. if you aren't so comfurtable with just sitting and talking, you could try playing a game. i'd sudjest some kiddy board game (cause they are the best kind!) have some fun, if you are having fun the i bet she'll be having a blast. 
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Feb 21, 05
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my sister is downsyndrome, despite the fact that she's considered "high functioning" (meaning she can basicly look after herself with minimal supervision, hell, i taught her how to drive!) some people have a hard time dealing with being around her.
it's really not hard, autistic kids sometimes are harder because of their occasional tendencies toward violent behaviour and puking. but not all are hard to be around. my sister loves certain things like Dr.Suess and Leonardo DiCaprio, lol. just find common ground and treat her like any other person, they're NOT judgemental, and the only WRONG way to interact with them is to belittle them or treat them as fragile creatures. just remember, they think they're just like us, so treating them otherwise would hurt their feelings. i know my sister is the happiest most oblivious person i've met. just ask her polite questions and go from there example "what's your favorite kind of food?" or "have you ever gone on a trip like this before? what did you do?" i know i feel appreciated when people show intrest in your thoughts and ideas, same goes for people with handicappes. i guess what i'm driving at is that the only way alot of them differ from us is that they have a HARDER time grasping some concepts that may seem basic to us.
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Feb 21, 05
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you're are a piece of work. She's a human being for the love of pete!!! It's people like you who instal fear into ignorant people, by asking dumb ass questions wich could be easily answered by your own concience. (if you got one) a person who's retarted has more sense of the word acceptance than you do.
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Feb 21, 05
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heh at my first glance of your thread title, I was thinking "Hey, is he talking about whenever I have to read posts on FnK". Upon further inspection I think I need to make a thread... "Interacting with retarded people online..." Anyways, back to the matter at hand. So what if she has a developmental disability? She is still a person... I coached the Special Olympics for a year and I had a great time with them. Just treat them like you would anyone else. It's the Golden Rule, you should be applying it to everyone anyways.
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Feb 21, 05
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OK wow... Y'know guys, we don't all need to jump on Wum! He was asking honest questions, and looking for real advice! He may not have had much experience interacting with people who have a disability, but genuinely wants to make an effort to get to know his gf's sister now.
Lots of people have little to no experience around people who have disabilites, and have nothing to go by but what they have seen on television (which for the most part emphasizes the negative impact of a disability on a person's life). Understandably, this can make a person a little anxious or nervous. I realize that not everyone had the same kind of experiences as I did; Growing up in an inclusive school environment (Richmond is one of the few truly "inclusive" school districts. Ie: No segregated resource rooms), having a Mum who did respite for a girl with Rett Syndrome, then later became a Teaching Assistant, being a peer helper throught school and having worked in a day camp for children with special needs since the age of 14 (I'll be 23 this summer), and later becoming a Residential Care worker and then an Educational Assistant. So even with all my knowledge and experience, I'm not looking down on Wum thinking he's an ignorant person... I'm actually taking the time to try and help him out and assure him that it's really not as complicated as it may seem to have positive interactions with someone who has a disability. Getting all huffy and pointing out completely oblivious to something that a lot of you may feel is second nature is only embelishing the severity of the situation. When really, this is no biggie, and with a bit of practice it'll go fine, OK? So from this point on, how about only helpful suggestions. Because as accepant of differences as all you claim to be, you really haven't showed much tolerance for Wum's background/experiences. Lets stay open-minded here guys, about ALL people.
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Feb 21, 05
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Feb 21, 05
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But yeah, wum, dealing with kids like this can be tough. It's hard to just treat them the same as a regular person, because they are not the same. You can't treat a 14 year old girl with the intelligence level of a 2 year old girl the same as you would a normal 14 year old girl. It all comes down to their level of handicap as well.
My parents do respite care for disabled children every other weekend, sometimes more often, so I've been through this a lot. As was mentioned earlier, try following their lead a little and just talk, it doesn't have to be about anything important, but they will feel you're listening. But on that same note, don't underestimate them either.
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Feb 21, 05
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I'm sure you could find a million google sites that would give you better answers on whatever mental-handicap you're looking for without all the shit you're getting on here.
I say, ask your gf what mental handicap your gf's sister has, and talk to her about it, or talk to her mom about it they probably have a lot of info. Don't be scared or stupid to ask questions at all.
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Feb 21, 05
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^ Good advice, but a person's diagnosed disability is kinda irrelevant and actually sets you up with expecations before hand. I find if you don't know a term for what disability a person lives with, you are less likely to pass judgement. Sure, in terms of getting government assistance/funding and for medical reasons some people need to know a person's exact diagnosis... But for the most part, it really shouldn't matter. They are a person first and foremost.
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Feb 21, 05
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^I'll take your word on it. But If I were going on a trip with someone who may be handicapped (at any level) and I did not know, I would want to know about it before hand for my own personal safety and well being.
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Feb 21, 05
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^ gf is coming with. nothing major, just food.
to be honest if you hung out with her and she didn't say much you probably wouldn't get the idea that she was disabled. she doesn't really have strange voice inflections or mannerisms. just an attractive 18 year old who acts much younger. you might even think it was her personality at first, but no. she won't have a tantrum and hit me i don't think.  
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Feb 22, 05
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^ (In response to Vespertina) Their diagnosis isn't going to tell you anything about their personality. Friends and family would be a far better reference. A diagnosis can only supply you with either a stereotypical image based on how a person with that speciafic disability is portrayed by the media/hollywood, or with some "characteristics" that are considered "common" among people who share the same diagnosis. But like "typical" people, not two people with a particular diagnosis are going to be the same. For example, Austism doesn't make you violent. Being delayed/underdeveloped in the areas of expressive communcation and not ebing able to read social situations and becoming increasing frustrated by that makes you violent. AND... Violent behaviour is just that - Behaviour. And behaviour is communication. Sometimes the only way of communicating that a person with a disability may have).
Edit: Sorry, thats my rushed version. I'm going to bed... Last edited by veN; Feb 22, 05 at 12:04 AM.
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Feb 22, 05
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Nev i dotn think you missed anything :)
(I have her job too :y: ) Quote:
hmmm Anyways what nev said... the best thing for anyone is treat them like a person at their age. Even though her apperance/speach/mental porssessing is not in the norm... you have to try and go around it. Its quite the learning experince wroking with ppl who have special needs and VERY rewarding. Wish you luck wum :) Last edited by Ree Fresh; Feb 22, 05 at 12:27 AM.
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Feb 22, 05
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I never specified on the source of information by saying "I would want to know about it before hand". Anyway I am very tired too, good bye.
And a trip for FOOD, LOL! Good Luck buddy!
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Feb 22, 05
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Again treat her like her age, infact try and bring her age level up. Example our goal now is to get this girl to try and read 17 magazines! Try and enjoy your time with her, welcome her and start talking to her like anyone else. She may be what you think is "weird" but try and learn from it.
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Feb 22, 05
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:) :y:
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