What it would take before you "change"

[MC Hammered]

I was having a conversation with some old friends and I came to the realization that it was quite sad that it took a life altering event in order to set a series of events in motion to make me who I am today.

Without that event I don't think I would have came to many of the realizations, epiphanies and other eye opening things.

Do you think it is possible for one to actually "clue in" and make the adjustments required or does that serious reality check have to happen before one can embark on personal growth and change?

[cheeseburger]

Fate and karma, everything happens for a reason

[MC Hammered]

I don't believe in fate or destiny.

I do believe everything happens for a reason and that everyone that comes into your life was brought in for a reason as well at that point in time.

[yoko*]

Originally Posted by MC Hammered

Do you think it is possible for one to actually "clue in" and make the adjustments required or does that serious reality check have to happen before one can embark on personal growth and change?

As simple of a response as it is, I think it all depends on the person. I know that some people really need a big fat slap in the face to wake them up from all the denial they've drowned themselves in. Some people get the reality check but still keep fucking up without thinking to change. Others get the reality check, decide they're going to make a change but lack the will to follow through. Some people turn their act around 180 degrees and start anew.

Regardless of how long it took you, at least you did eventually come to those realizations and absorb them to make changes to your life. The time wasted is "sad", but it would have been more sad had you not learned your lesson.

[crookedking]

it takes a Life changing action to change somebody's Life.

[MC Hammered]

Originally Posted by yoko*

As simple of a response as it is, I think it all depends on the person. I know that some people really need a big fat slap in the face to wake them up from all the denial they've drowned themselves in. Some people get the reality check but still keep fucking up without thinking to change. Others get the reality check, decide they're going to make a change but lack the will to follow through. Some people turn their act around 180 degrees and start anew.

Regardless of how long it took you, at least you did eventually come to those realizations and absorb them to make changes to your life. The time wasted is "sad", but it would have been more sad had you not learned your lesson.

It's good to "hear" you again Yoko. :)

Been much too long.

[yoko*]

Originally Posted by MC Hammered

It's good to "hear" you again Yoko. :)

Been much too long.

aweeee.....!!!
:D

[diva]

i think everyone's goal in life should be personal growth and change
you should always strive for better, otherwise, what's the point?

i know i'll never be smart enough, or have made enough difference in the lives of people
there's just no way due to the infinite possibilities that are offered to us as we age and...well, live.

but that's just me, and those are just my goals

i guess people who have different goals might have them met during a certain time frame and be content when that time has come

[neoh]

I want a near-death experience before I'll change.

[wum]

Originally Posted by MC Hammered

I don't believe in fate or destiny.

I do believe everything happens for a reason and that everyone that comes into your life was brought in for a reason as well at that point in time.

That's exactly what fate and destiny is.

[sinnerman]

Originally Posted by MC Hammered

I was having a conversation with some old friends and I came to the realization that it was quite sad that it took a life altering event in order to set a series of events in motion to make me who I am today.

Without that event I don't think I would have came to many of the realizations, epiphanies and other eye opening things.

Do you think it is possible for one to actually "clue in" and make the adjustments required or does that serious reality check have to happen before one can embark on personal growth and change?

Why do you think that it's sad? Things don't change when things stay the same. Something needs to spark a change, whether it's something that you do, witness or experience. Perhaps it's not important why that change occured, but simply that it did occur. Dwelling on the past only lets the present slip by; accept and acknowledge what was, and go from there.

[MC Hammered]

Originally Posted by wum

That's exactly what fate and destiny is.

Thanks for playing.

Please try again.

[yoko*]

Originally Posted by wum

That's exactly what fate and destiny is.

Not really. Fate and destiny can be beyond personal relationships with people. And, the belief that there is a purpose for every encounter with someone is not the same concept as believing in the inevitability that you will encounter particular people in your life.

[MC Hammered]

Originally Posted by sinnerman

Why do you think that it's sad? Things don't change when things stay the same. Something needs to spark a change, whether it's something that you do, witness or experience. Perhaps it's not important why that change occured, but simply that it did occur. Dwelling on the past only lets the present slip by; accept and acknowledge what was, and go from there.

Who said I was dwelling in the past? Far from it.

The question I posed is can that "spark" you talk about be self generated or does an event have to occur to generate it.

I suspect the latter and that is what I find sad.

[sinnerman]

Originally Posted by wum

That's exactly what fate and destiny is.

I disagree. Fate/destiny is predetermination (or, simply, that choice is an illusion). Believing that everything happens for a reason, however, is independent of that. This simply means that there is a purpose or a meaning for your life, whether that life is yours to direct or not.

I don't understand why so many people don't believe in fate. I don't want to argue about whether or not we are actually capable of making choices (that's far too complicated to be discussed here). However, none of us has any control over the life we are born into. Perhaps it is our responsibility to make our lives into what we see fit (that is, that each of us is responsible for choosing what becomes of his life). But, inevitably, the point from where we start is beyond our ability to choose; in this way, our choices and their outcomes are limited by something uncontrollable. I feel that we most certainly do make choices that affect the course of our lives, but that these choices are superceded by events or circumstances over which we have no control. This is fate; we are empowered to choose only that which we are allowed to choose.

[Veni*C]

^^^^interesting opinion.... i like to think i have more control over the course of my life than that though.... :P

[LeeBrat]

Originally Posted by crookedking

it takes a Life changing action to change somebody's Life.

this is very true. although some people are able to correct their path before something happens, most have to learn the hard way to change. but even though its hard, its good. change is good, whatever doesnt kill you makes you stronger & bulds character.
i also belive that fate/karma/destiny factor into this and that everything happens for a reason.

[sinnerman]

Originally Posted by MC Hammered

Who said I was dwelling in the past? Far from it.

The question I posed is can that "spark" you talk about be self generated or does an event have to occur to generate it.

I suspect the latter and that is what I find sad.

I see. I didn't mean to accuse you of dwelling in the past, but simply to encourage you to place less importance on the reason rather than the thing, itself.

I think the answer is simple if you consider where the world came from. Sometimes that spark is completely random; not everything happens for a reason (or, at least, not everything is caused by something tangible). Take evolution for example. Species don't evolve because they consciously adapt better to their environments; they evolve because a random variation beyond their control gave them an advantage, purely by chance. And while nothing purposefully effected this development, it is no less important or influential than one that was knowingly determined. In fact, I think this type of change (or spark) is much more important because it expands the realm of possibilities for change, unlike the others which are limited to those pre-existing possibilities. In the same way as evolution, our minds can be sparked randomly. Sometimes, albeit not too often, this random spark opens the way for something that was previously unattainable/inconceiveable. I think you only need to look at Aristotle, Shakespeare, Newton or any great human mind; each was surrounded by the same influences as the rest of their societies, but something that no one caused to happen (because no one yet had even conceived of it) created in them a new way of thinking about or viewing everything that surrounds us. These unintentional, self-generated sparks are both necessarily possible and infinitely more creative.

Blah, I hope you understand what I'm trying to say and I'm sorry for making this so complicated. I've never been good with words; that's why I'm in such a delicate conundrum. My girlfriend says no one reads these long posts, and I'm pretty sure she's right. BUT, this thread fascinates me, and I've got nothing better to do because I'm not tired yet...

[crookedking]

^^did anybody else find that to long to read?

[Anjew]

I think it really depends on the person.
Some people can go to a lake by themselves and ponder about their lives, decisions, ideas ... etc... for hours, I find that these insightful people have the ability to notice things that others can't

I know a lot of people whom would never go on i hate to use this word.. "spiritual" journey. A lot of people don't want to think cause a lot of people say that whe nyou do things like this all it leads to is as someone mentioned before dwelling on the past.

But certain people don't dwell, they recognize and alter their ways.

I hope that made sense. just my two cents

[miss.myra]

Some of the most signifigant changes in your life can happen gradually without you even noticing it.

[bebu*funfun]

^^the best part is when u relieze what happened happened for a good and understandable reason. i live a fast forward life and every minor detail means a lot and affects me a great deal. every decision in my life has made me who i am and made me more knowledgable about my own surroundings. everyone has full control on their lives.. when things are out of control, its totally a result of karma.

[sinnerman]

Originally Posted by crookedking

^^did anybody else find that to long to read?

No kidding! Does he honestly expect anyone to take him seriously when his posts are five times as long as the average attention span of anyone on this site!? Not to mention, a lot of those words are big and scary.

[Jen-E-03]

unfortunately it takes a really bad chain of events to change alot of peoples lives....imo

[rawb]

i like to start most of my change as a sudden sparsely worded, unspecific post in the heart to heart or punching bag section. occasionally i will use song lyrics to spice them up.

usually when i have felt i have overcome my adversity, i will post in a entirely new thread containing a slightly embarassing self-serving paragraph pointing out the faults of others to highlight how far i have matured.

then i eat a sandwich and start obsessively clicking the 'new posts' link hoping for replies.