Marriage?....!

[Carrie]

Originally Posted by Ashes

Myra - BAHAHAHA. *ahem*

In re: Marriage?....!

I don't think marriage is nessecary at all. You don't need to be married to have someone sit in a rocking chair next to you on your porch. You just need to have commitment. I would only get married for the tax breaks, because I don't believe in the concept of binding two people in front of god. I don't believe there is a god, so although a celebration of union would still be appropriate, I doubt I'd have a traditional type ceremony.

you don't need to be married for tax breaks...

it's call common-law, as long as you live with the person for over a year, in a marriage like relationship, you're married to the government. (well in Canada)

[Vitamin-X]

I'll definitely go for the whole marriage thing, although I'd really have to be sure of the girl. I have no intention of having the current 1-2 year practice marriage that seems to be all the rage these days.

[sungoo]

marriage killed robert redford in 'out of africa'

[Bitchin]

Originally Posted by miss.myra

Was the article written by Captain Obvious?

probably.

but hey.. some ppl do need someone else to make them happy...
[which is very sad imo]

and they need someone to point it out.

[Water]

I think the idea of marriage is a big b.s. to people that are not religious. I don't care if I am married to someone on the paper. However, selebrating being together, saying out loud our promises to love and respect each other for the rest of our lives is worth a day of having nice food and drinks with your family and friends. Plus, just think of all the presents! What I am trying to say is that I do not care, but if it's going to make anybody happier then they are, I wouldn't mind doing it (except for maybe the silly white dress)

[stephen_c]

the notion of marriage is something beautiful, romantic and permanent.
definitely an institution to be kept.

[TheCooker]

Other

- Worst mistake anyone could make ever make in their lives! Sure that's my opinion, reason being, I was living with my longtime girlfriend and was engaged. Basically when your with someone physically, emotionally, financially, and LEGALLY the good times can be REALLY REALLY good, but on the flip side the bad times REALLY REALLY SUCK.
A lot of factors tie into marriage, and the freedom you enjoyed before , is forever lost when you get married.
Marriage is a serious thing, not for the faint of heart or immature...that's why I'm never getting married!!!!

BoooonG

[ill-esha]

Originally Posted by sungoo

I've been a misogamist since I can remember.

What the hell is a misogamist? Someone who only hates one woman?

[ill-esha]

because you didn't include the option... I am married.

Maybe I haven't officially walked down the aisle or signed the license, but I've been living common law (and raising 2 children) upwards of 3 years now. I don't think it's for everybody, but it's been amazing. It has taught me so much about compassion, awareness of others, and selflessness. Anyone who remembers me from back in the LoungeX days, even if I never see them in person, probably notices how I have changed. It's not just growing up.. it's understanding what it means to love and care so much for someone that you put your own needs aside sometimes for them. At the same time, you take care of yourself and heal yourself because you know that YOU are an essential component in the whole picture and everyone needs to be happy and healthy for this to work.

Marriage is only a trap, or "ruins relationships" when you let it be that way. Paul and I are more in love than we have ever been and we still act like people who have just met (although we've cut down significantly on the PDAs as to not constantly gross out all our friends).

I can't tell you how nice it is to know that someone cares so much about you that they would go through hell for you, they will stand by you through your weakest moments and support and praise you through the strong ones. Even when you are sick and fatigued they will tell you you are the most beautiful person in the world. They will also help you grow, by letting you know when you are out of line, by being honest and open with you (as you are with them), and truly accept you for who you really are.

Of course not all people work this way. You have to find the right person, it's tricky, sometimes you don't know it's the WRONG person until it's over.

I don't think marriage is necessary, but if you find the person, the person who you get in a fight with and all you can think about is how to make it better again, the person who is always there for you... why not? (Conversely, marriage for the sake of marriage is never good either.)

/end passionate rant

[LeeBrat]

not planning on it but perhaps one day, but, for now i like being single
i know that i want to get all my education finished ,have my career started, and be settled on my feet before i even conceder settleing down

[dapimpstress]

Originally Posted by Carrie

you don't need to be married for tax breaks...

it's call common-law, as long as you live with the person for over a year, in a marriage like relationship, you're married to the government. (well in Canada)

Yeah I know about common-law. Please don't correct me on laws that don't apply to me. (being American) Common-law here can't occur until you have lived with someone for 7 years. So unless you want to wait that long, getting married at the court-house is a better option.

[rawb]

common law is very misunderstood.

common law is not a status. there is no magic number of days or years and suddenly a fairy wand gets waved over you and you are omg married.

depending on who you talk to (insurance company, government, civil lawyer) it is a spoken or a obvious agreement between two people. it varies wildly by state or province. as a basic rule, if two people romanticly co-habitate for any significant period of time then each person is entitled to the benefits of being a spouse, unless both parties explicitly state that they are not a couple. sometimes there is a minimum in some cases (to be entitled to stuff after your partner dies, to be able to go on your partners insurance at work, to be able to sue your partner for alimony, to get half your partners shit when they fuck your sister) and the minimum is different for each act. i have never seen anything like 7 years, usually the minimum is between 3 and 24 months.

in some places after the relationship ends you have a short amount of time to file if you want to recieve the benefits of a common law marraige, and a judge will decide for you.

[dapimpstress]

I have lived with my man upwards of a year and we reap no benefits. My girl Brandy has lived with her man 6 years, and she is always bitching about how they are so close, but can't get common-law yet.

As you said yourself, it varies depending where you are, this 7 yr isht could be specific to washington only.

[SEAN!]

definitely gonan get married but i have to find the right person, who wants the same shit as i do.

[SEAN!]

Originally Posted by Ashes

I have lived with my man upwards of a year and we reap no benefits. My girl Brandy has lived with her man 6 years, and she is always bitching about how they are so close, but can't get common-law yet.

As you said yourself, it varies depending where you are, this 7 yr isht could be specific to washington only.

its 2 years in canada

[miss.myra]

Originally Posted by Bitchin

probably.

but hey.. some ppl do need someone else to make them happy...
[which is very sad imo]

and they need someone to point it out.

Yeah it is sad, but..

People always need something else to make them happy, yeah sure people who are chronically codependant or terrified of being alone aren't necessarily worse or even as bad as the ones that need drugs, material posessions, money, etc. to make them happy.

Infact, I think all of us are guilty of using something in life to fill a void or at least keep us distracted from our real problems.

[ebbomega]

I'm not even looking for a girlfriend.

I suppose it would be an idea to get married, you know, if I met someone who could decently complement me, IE knows how to pick up the pieces I miss and I know how to pick up hers... But so far most of the people I've met it's been too much of one or the other.

Why bother worrying about it this far along, is my question. Marriage shouldn't be an issue until it's... well... an issue.

It's so far off my radar these days.

[mapleleaf4ever]

Originally Posted by miss.myra

Infact, I think all of us are guilty of using something in life to fill a void or at least keep us distracted from our real problems.

Where I come from we call it Alcoholism. :)

[Bitchin]

illesha- jst click the 'I'm gonna married' option.. same shit just worded diffrent.

myra, agree. but I thinks that probably why we have friends. (Y)

[SEAN!]

Originally Posted by miss.myra

Yeah it is sad, but..

People always need something else to make them happy, yeah sure people who are chronically codependant or terrified of being alone aren't necessarily worse or even as bad as the ones that need drugs, material posessions, money, etc. to make them happy.

Infact, I think all of us are guilty of using something in life to fill a void or at least keep us distracted from our real problems.

everyone is psychologically fucked up in one way or another, some are just worse then others.


i know i wouldnt be happy in life unless i had a family because im highly social tho not dependant. i also figure i need to balance my life out with other passions because life would be empty(and i wouldnt have anyhting after i retired) if i focused entirely on my career ambitions.

[Kenny]

Originally Posted by tahiti__treat

it would be nice to get married one day but if not i could care less.. marriage is soo over-rated! if i do get marriedit will be on a beach with bear feet! :)

Bear feet? Sounds kinda Ritual like..

[Anjew]

i'm big on marriage.

most asian families are... you don't see very many divorces in my part of the world.

[veN]

Originally Posted by galaxie

I definitely want to get married, but I'll be honest, it's just for the rings! hah!

But seriously, ever since I can remember I've wanted the cute hubby, 2 darling children, and the white picket fence. I know that it won't be all sugarplums and lollipops like I imagine in my head, hehe, but it's definitely something I want. Although, if my man were 100% against the whole "marriage" act but not the dream of a family I'd compromise - as long as I don't end up a lonely old maid!

What she said..! :)

[dangamouse]

I,v been married for 2 and a half years ,im 24 and my wife is 27.

She is from vancouver and was staying in Glasgow when we met ,we had been together about a year and had been living together. but then came the time for her visa to run out and geting married was one of the easiest decisions we have ever made , we both dont have strong views on marrage and we knew it was a gamble but we decided that if it didnt work then at least we gave it a shot .our wedding was a small civil ceremony that we through together in 2 months with my close friends and family then a proper good party after :)
its now 2 and a half years down the line and we are still together and still very happy so to any one who says marrage kills relationships BULLSHIT ! we still both cut about doing the same stuff and have the same lifstyle we had when we where boyfrieng and girlfriend

saying that tho if we didnt have to get married we probably wouldnt be ,but we would still be together thats for sure.
When 2 people love and believe in each other nothing can change that feeling

[ebbomega]

"Never get married, man."
- Every single person I know that got married under the age of 25 more than two years ago.